Are You a Grill Master

Weber Genesis S-330

Yesterday was the Fourth of July, a day that America declared independence from, and is NOW, its dependent upon neighbor. It will be a day of picnics, beer guzzlin’, and of course grillin’ up some of the best tasting food ever.

Raise your hand if you consider yourselves to be a grill master? Hmm… I see a lot of hands up there, I’m impressed. Last year, I decided to invite 30 of my friends over for a cookout. OK…Now here’s the thing, while I am a very good cook in the kitchen, I had never used a grill before in my life.

I didn’t even HAVE a grill. No big deal I thought, I will just go to Home Depot and buy one…BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ…

I figured there would only be a couple there to choose from so how hard could it be…BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ… They have more freakin’ grills there than Chevy has different styles and makes of cars.

Big ones, small ones, two burners, three burners, three burners with another burner used for KEEPING food warm…Ayyyy Carumba. Hell, they even had a grill there with a remote control that could cook ribs all by itself. I mean this thing would even BUY the ribs at the store for you, marinate it and then COOK the damn thing for you. OK…I MIGHT be lying about that…I would have to marinate it…Geese!!!

Finally, I broke down and just asked the salesman, (about a sixteen year old kid), which one I needed for my cookout. The kid recommended the Weber Genesis S-330 grill. He said it could do EVERYTHING that I needed…Including Dance. I forked over 850 bucks and had it shipped to my house. I was really excited, I wanted to SEE it dance.

It arrived, was set up, and there it was…My BRIGHT and SHINING Grill. Now MOST people would have read the directions about the ins and out of grilling, I just assumed…HEY…I KNOW how to cook who NEEDS it. Oooooooooooooooooops!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I had already decided that I was going to make streak, BBQ chicken, and shrimp, how tough could it BE right? I turned it on, (NO prob.), and immediately put EVERYTHING on this huge grill at once. I had already par boiled the chicken so I figured everything would cook at about the same time. Again…BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, as it turned out, everything DID cook at the SAME temp…BURNED!!!! Huge raging flames rose from the grill that just CONSUMED my first batch. I mean I couldn’t have served these to a dog they were so bad. Even if taken to a burned treatment facility, this batch was toast.

Guess what I did…YUP, I read the directions. I was supposed to spray the grill with Pam FIRST…THEN cook the chicken, and THEN the steak, and finally the shrimp. As it turned out, everything tasted So-So but if it wasn’t for the congeniality of my friends, it would have been a disaster.

So, you may ask, “What did you learn from all this Sooz”, the answer of course is… Let someone ELSE do the grilling from now on…

Until Late…

One thought on “Are You a Grill Master

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