Sooz’s Naughty Nursery Rhymes

We’ve all heard THIS nursery rhyme, but how many of you know THE REAL STORY???

“Jack and Jill went up the hill,
To fetch a pail of water.
Jack fell down, and broke his crown
And Jill came tumbling after.”

Cute and catchy eh? Yeah, but not quite as sweet as all that. Here’s what REALLY happened.
A long time ago, in Bogota, Columbia, there lived a boy named Juanito, (Jack) Sanchez. Juanito was always a troubled boy, he was born into an impoverished family with 4 brothers and 3 sisters. Never getting the attention he deserved, at the age of 13 he decided to run with a gang.

Trouble seemed to follow him where ever he went, and his list of wrongdoings increased when at 18, he joined the Escobar Cartel. His responsibilities were to buy, sell, and distribute cocaine to those who were willing to use his product. Things were going good for Juanito until he met a girl named Jillena Rodriguez, (Pronounced Hill-Ay-Na)…

Jillena was smart and sexy, but, bad to the bone. (Bad to the Bone music playing in the background). It didn’t take Juanito long to fall head over heals for this sexy temptress. Together, they and the Cartel, ran the fear of God into the surrounding communities.

They had it all, fast cars, money to burn, and a sex life that put rabbits to shame.  Then, one day, Jillena took Juanito aside and said to him, “Why don’t we take a cut out of the Cartels pocket, get incredibly rich and leave for America to start our OWN distribution ring?”

He was reluctant at first, but, she had eyes that just burned through his soul, and he became a slave to her whimsies. They had it all planned out. They were to go up Mt. Vargus, pick up a shipment of high quality blow from the Cartel to distribute, and then just vanish into the sunset.

The day came, and Juanito and Jillena climbed the mountain to pick up the shipment. Now Emilio Escobar, (Cartel leader), was NOT a stupid man, he had overheard of the couples plan from a third party that just happened to be watching them.

The Cartel was waiting in hiding as Jack and Jill picked up the shipment. Just as soon as Jack started down the hill with his stash, they sprang from their hidden enclosures and with baseball bats beat Jack and Jill, all that was left was their bloody remains.

The Cartel picked up their coke, and dumped Jack and Jill’s body over that mountain where anyone who found them would KNOW not to mess with Emilio Escobar and the Cartel. The news of Jack and Jill’s murder became news and the legend was created. Ahhhhhhh….Good Times!!!

And NOW you know the REAL story!!!!!!

Note: All proceeds collected from this story go to Jack and Jill’s family in Phoenix Az…C/O Sooz….