Sue’s Fractured Fairy Tales–The Garden Of Eden



Here I sit beneath the tree, waiting for Adam, AGAIN!!! It’s beautiful here, plush gardens everywhere, never ending sunshine, and just gorgeous for sunbathing, ESPECIALLY since we are naked. It is indeed paradise.

We are the only ones here in this beautiful garden, God calls Eden, guess He is hung up on the “E” vowel. All is provided for us, and this new found life is amazing. We, (Adam and I), have free access to ANYTHING we desire, EXCEPT the apples on this one tree. It’s kinda weird really because He never really DID give us a good reason as to WHY WE can’t have any.

I must admit, I am curious as to why This fruit, amongst ALL others, is forbidden to us. Sometimes I wonder what would happen if only I were to take a bite of this succulent looking orb.

“WaitWhat is that hissing noise above the apple tree?”  Hmmm, it’s a snake and it’s SPEAKING?? “Eat the apple Eve, they are delicious.” “But, snake, God has spoken that we should NOT partake of this fruit.” “Don’t be ridiculous Eve, God has just said that because He is selfish and wants all the apples for Himself.”

“Hey, how is it that you can TALK anyway, none of the other animals here can?” Oh, I am a magical snake, and also one who has great knowledge, THAT’S how I know it’s really OK to eat the apples.” Ya know what, said the snake, “If you eat the apple, you will have the same powers as God Himself.”

“Cool”’, said Eve, as she grabbed an apple from the tree and took a bite. In the meantime, Adam had returned from his fishing trip and saw that Eve had just bitten into the apple.
“What the HELL are you doing Eve”, asked Adam, “You KNOW we’re not supposed to eat the apples.” “The snake said it was OK Adam, and he seems really smart.” “What snake”, asked Adam, as the snake had suddenly disappeared. Eve explained and invited Adam to partake.

Adam, not being the SHARPEST knife in the drawer said ok, and he also bit off a huge chunk of the apple. Just then, the skies darkened, and thunder roared as God spoke. “WTF (First time this term was ever used), is WRONG with you two?” “Don’t you understand Arabic?” “I said the apples were a no no!!!” “There WILL be consequences”, said God, as He opened up the gates of Eden and kicked them the Hell out.

Moral: — First off, snakes, no LONGER speak.
Secondly, we may NOT live in a beautiful garden anymore, BUT, we get to wear designer clothes, have all the kids we want, and more importantlyWe get to eat apples, drink apple cider, eat apple sauce, and have as many candy apples as we can eat.

All in allNOT a bad thing… 😉

Until later…


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