What’s It Like to be a Recovering Alcoholic

Many times people who know me, come up and ask me what’s it like to be a recovering alcoholic. The simple answer isIT SUCKS!!! There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about the “Glory days” of being drunk.
Yes, I still remember the days of partying and giving folks a boob shot after a few drinks, but, then again, I never DID like waking up in some strange bed the next morning, laying next to someone who I had just met the night before.
OK, let me clarify that, it was the part about not REMEMBERING who or what I did the night before that was scary. Did he use a condom, what did I say, what did I do, did anyone from my office to see me that way, it was a mess.
Did I enjoy the drinking, Ohhhhhh Yeahhhh!!!! I was on top of the world, nothing could hurt or phase me. I would SAY what I wanted, and DO what I wanted, whenever I wanted.The thing is, the next day, I was ALWAYS being told some of the crazy ass things I would say or do that wellI SHOULDN’T have done or said.
I would start the day off with a couple of drinks, just to clear my head, go to work, have a few more drinks for lunch, and then meet with clients for MORE drinks later that night. I was what you would call a high functioning alcoholic.
The thing IS, I NEEDED that alcohol to just GET me through the dayEVERY DAY. My blackouts would become more and more frequent, and my behavior was slowly becoming more OUTRAGEOUS. When I wrote about being the Wedding SLUT, that was TRUE, I WAS the SLUT. After a few drinks, I would dance around like a fool, and have drunken sex with just about ANYONE who wanted it, male OR female. I ALWAYS was the hit of the wedding, ORSo I THOUGHT.
There just came to a point in my life that I decided I NEEDED to put away the party girl image and GROW upFinally, after 43 years I DID it. Do I miss that part of my life, SOMETIMES, but I realized that within a few more years, had I continued along that path, I would become a homeless, hopeless, and friendless drunk.
I am glad that I did what I did, and would recommend to ANYONE who is on MY former path, to also do yourself a favor, get clean. You may not be high on alcohol anymore, BUT, you will re-discover the benefits of a clear and sober head. God Bless…

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