Is Bigfoot REALLY Dead

I don’t know, I just really liked that headline. It’s like something you would see in the National Enquirer isn’t it? Actually, if the truth be known, I could give two HOOTS about Bigfoot, What I REALLY came here to talk about was Dogs PLAY Toys.

Yup, that’s right, Dogs PLAY toys. Hey, it will be JUST as interesting as Bigfoot, I promise.  NowWhere was IOh yeah, Dog Toys.

Did you ever notice that every dog you encounter has a favorite dog chew toy? Usually, when I’m around, it winds up being my brand new shoes. I have done EXTENSIVE research in this field, (Watching my friend’s dogs), and I have determined that each dog likes a different chew toy.
Seriously!!! Arfie, (My Aunt Carol’s dog), LOVES sneakers. She and I have bought him balls, pull toy ropes, fancy toys that look and MOVE like mice, and EVEN toys that SMELL like foodHe LIKES sneakers. Yup, no sneaker in the house is safe around Arfie. I don’t know whether it is the owners Foot smell or what, but, where there is a sneaker, so is Arfie.

Then, there is my friend Violet’s dog. This thing is a Mexican Chihuahua that THINKS she’s a Great Dane. No foo foo toys for THIS one, Noooooooo Sir!!! Spirit, (Dog’s name), wants to play with the backyard TIRE SWING. I kid you not, she would rather eat glass, and vomit up SAND rather than play with a tennis ball or a pull toy. Go figure?????????

Last but not least, there is Buba, (I KNOW… Creative name, right), he is an English Bull Dog that ONLY likes to chew on my friend Sandie’s DESIGNER shoes. No DOG toys for HIM. If it’s a pair of Jimmy Choo’s, Manolo Blahnik’s, or Susan Bennis’s, you will FIND them in his mouth, chewing away happily, as well, a dog.

I guess there is just NO rhyme or reason what interests a dog to play withHeyMAYBE, he might like to munch on Bigfoot…

Until Later…

Sexy Tuesday–Touch Me…Feel Me

Standing in front of the mirror, I watch you slowly, and sensuously disrobe me.

My dress slipping to the floor, exposing my nakedness to your anxiously awaiting hands.

I am yours, Take me… Touch me… Feel me.

The heat of your breath engulfs me, as you slowly work your way down my wanton body.

Feel MeTouch Me.

Strong hands surround my breasts as your manhood slides into my womanly garden.

Slow kissing, and long, lazy thrusts consume my lust.

I am your slave, and you are my master.

Satisfying my fire, your passion totally consumes me while I wait to be touched again.

Touch MeFeel Me…

 

How To NOT Hate Mondays Anymore

 

Why do we ALL hate Mondays and yet, nobody DOES anything about it??? I believe it’s about time we all stood up and declare: “I’m mad as Hell at Mondays, and I’m NOT gonna TAKE it anymore.”
I’m looking around and I didn’t see that many TAKERSCome on here people, BRAIN storm with me. First of all, let’s list some reasons why we all HATE Mondays, and then, let’s see what we can do about them…

I, for one, hate Mondays because I have to get up at some ungodly hour to get ready, when on the weekends, I can sleep as late as I want. I also hate Mondays because it’s the FIRST day of the week and I realize that I have 4 more to go after that.

I USED to still be drunk most Monday mornings and I realized that I had to watch my alcohol intake during the DAY because it might affect my creativity. Luckily THOSE days are gone so now I just have to deal with the tired factor.

Seriously, how many of us are at our best on Mondays anyway? I mean, we relax (sort of) on the weekends, so it makes Monday even HARDER to go back to the old grind again.
SoWhat can we do? Hmmmmm.ThinkingThinkingHow about we go to Congress and lower our work week to only 3 days? Also, we can start CALLING Monday, Friday, THIS way it will trick our minds into thinking we are VERY near the weekend. Since we will be OFF on Tuesday, it will SEEM like the weekend has started.

OKWe can’t get around HUMP day, but that’s OK since we will be well rested from our day off on Tuesday. Of course after Wednesday, we get another day off on Thursday, helping us SLIDE into the weekend.

When Friday comes, we’re gonna start calling THAT day Monday. By having Monday at the END of the week, we will no longer be bothered by working it. Then, of course, comes our long weekend again, leaving us all refreshed and ready to start ??work again Friday. NowWho wants to go before Congress for us all???

Until Later…

Suicide–Don’t Do It

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

teen-suicide
Today in a Just Ask Sooz, I answered a woman back about how to address a suicide question. That post got me thinking about my OWN father’s suicide and how it affected my family.

Suicide occurs every 17 minutes and is rated number 10 as a cause of death. I realize that there are many reasons why people commit suicide, most of which are due to extreme depression. Folks, there is NO reason for this.
I can certainly understand people being depressed and thinking of taking their own lives, but, PLEASE GET HELP!! You will never know the pain and the anguish it causes to those close to you unless you go through it yourself.

Let me tell you, it takes a toll on those who love you, and they cannot understand WHY you did it. To THIS day, even after many years of therapy I am STILL angry, and have feelings of abandonment. There is NO reason for this. SEE a PROFESSIONAL who can help you with your problems.

Your family looks at your suicide as a WASTE, and a selfish act. Sure, the person who takes their life is free from the pain, BUT, the pain just begins (and LASTS) for those close to you.

Certainly there are those who are in severe pain and agony who want to die, but, for those folks, I would humbly recommend talking to your family BEFORE you decide to end your life. Let them KNOW how much they mean to you and WHY you are even contemplating such a thing. THAT way, if suicide IS committed, You UNDERSTAND the WHY.

I realize that I am rambling on here, but I have very strong feelings concerning this subject. If you are depressed, in pain, or just have feelings of inadequacy, PLEASE get help. You will be doing your family a favorThank you for being attentive…
Until Later…

Just Ask Sooz

Dear Sooz:

I have something very personal to bring up and I hope you can help me. You see, when I was younger, my mother committed suicide. It has always left me with a terrible feeling of abandonment and my life has been a mess accordingly.

Anyway, that is not why I am writing. When I meet someone new and they ask about my family, the conversation always comes around about my mother. I tell them that she has passed and then drop it like a hot potato.Sometimes they press for more info about her death and I just say that she was very ill and she just passed. I am very uncomfortable about this whole subject and I don’t feel as if it is any elses business but mine.

How else can I say this without being rude, and, do you think that I should bring up the whole subject if they ask? Am I being too sensitive here?

Sensitive in Seattle

Dear Sensitive:

First, let me say that I am very sorry for your pain.  This is a subject I know all too well about as my father also committed suicide. Like you, I have suffered from this trauma my whole life.
I have been through countless therapists dealing with the pain and it has helped tremendously. I hope that you have also sought out professional help if it has messed with your functional ability to cope.

As for your question, everybody deals with these things differently. If it bothers you, then I would just say, “I’m sorry, but I prefer not to discuss it at this time as it is a sensitive issue for me.”

Anyone with a hint of self control should just drop it from there. You are certainly within your right to control the situation as you see fit. It IS your business and nobody else unless YOU care to discuss it. Again, I am sorry for your loss, and I hope this has helped you.

Just Ask Sooz–Update–

I just wanted to update everyone on my Just Ask Sooz series. I have been doing this for a while now and I would like to invite ANYONE who might have a question or problem to write me.

I look forward to answering any questions and if you have something you would like me to print here, just write me at dreamshadow59@gmail.com…

I look forward to your responses…

xx

Sooz

P.S. If you do NOT want me to print them in an open forum, that’s OK too. Just let me know…

Is Customer Service Dead–Rant

 

OK(Very poor way to start a sentence by the way), I don’t usually write a ranting post because, well, I like to THINK of myself as a nice person, BUT, unfortunately, THIS post IS a ‘Bitch Pitch’.

I was at a breakfast place yesterday (I won’t mention the name ‘cause I might get in trouble, but the initials start with DENNY’S). I ordered my usual, Bacon and eggs with pancakes on the side. Before I go any further, let me just say to those who are wondering why I order such a large breakfastI was HUNGRY OK??? Oh, and yes, I know that bacon is loaded with fat and grease and will probably kill me, but, hey, we all gotta go sometime, right?

Anyway, it took 50 min. to get my food, but, to add insult to injury, there was a HAIR in my eggs. YUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I immediately motioned to my server to come hither, and when she did, I explained that I COULDN’T eat my breakfast because there was a hair in my food.

Now, NORMALLY the thing that should have happened is that the server humbly apologized, replaced the meal, and then comps it. Nooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She had to give me an attitude like, “How do you know it’s not YOUR hair???” WTF!!!

 I almost couldn’t believe she said what she did. I told her in a ‘somewhat’ sarcastic tone, (OK, it WAS sarcastic), that I could have a DNA sample taken, BUT, since I have RED hair and this one was a long BLOND one, I was pretty damn certain it WASN’T mine.

At THIS point I asked to speak with the manager and was told that he was too BUSY to speak with me. Are you KIDDING me????? Where the HELL did customer service go? I pride myself in making sure that our clients get the BEST service possible. I have even redone a whole campaign because the customer decided he wanted something else.

I just couldn’t BELIEVE this whole experience. I picked up my bag, threw a penny on the table for the rotten service and walked out. Trust me on this, I will NEVER be backYikes!!!!

Until Later…

Just Ask Sooz

Dear Sooz:

After reading your Dear Sooz postings, I feel as though I can talk to you freely. My husband and I have been married for 10 years and to be honest, our sex life had gone stale. In order to spice things up, my husband asked if I would be willing to swing with other people. While unwilling, I did want to help out our lackluster sex life so I agreed.

We answered an ad from a website that caters towards this sort of thing and made an appointment to go. I must admit Sooz, I was really nervous while my husband seemed all ramped up and willing to go.

Well, I must tell you, my husband got right into it and just left me to my own devices. I got very drunk so I could relax, and then, everything changed. I became a new woman, I felt empowered, sexy, and ready for anything.

I tried lovemaking with one man at first, and then the drunker I got, I wound up in a threesome with a guy and a girl. I discovered that I really “love” having sex with women.
The next day, I told my husband about this and he said it was probably just because I was drunk.

Sooz, the problem is, I have been seeing this woman and am currently having an affair with her. I just can’t seem to help myself. My husband and I are now having a great sex life also, but, I really want to be with this other woman. I feel so guilty, but I think I might be a lesbian, what should I do?

Lost in Lesbianism

Dear Lost:

OKHere are my thoughts. Whether you are a lesbian, or Bi, is immaterial, having an affair outside of your marriage is something that almost always causes one stress and guilt. I realize it was your husbands idea originally to swing, BUT, now you have put yourself in a pickle.

I would recommend that you STOP seeing this other woman and keep your mouth SHUT, what has happened has happened. Since your sex life with your husband has now been revitalized, I suggest you both keep humping like bunnies and enjoy what you have.

While swinging can sometimes change the path of one’s love life positively, therapy is usually the best answer to any sexual problems you may be having. Swinging may be a “quick fix”, but, I doubt it will solve the long term underlying problem. I suggest seeing a therapist if your problem re-appears. Hope this has helped you.

Why’s that Waskely Wabbit Always Smarter than Elmer Fudd-Discuss

I was up early this AM and I just HAPPENNED to have on the cartoon network (OK….I LIKE itSUE me…) and airing, was the Warner Brothers cartoon of Bugs Bunny and Elmer Fudd.

Now don’t get me wrong, I LIKE Bugs Bunny, BUT, I always feel sooooo sorry for Elmer, when that waskely wabbit outfoxes him ALL the time. I mean it JUST ISN’T FAIR!!!

OK, I can see The Road Runner outfoxing Cayotte because their BOTH animals, but come on, a Human and a rabbit??? I ask you, does THIS seem reasonable to ANYONE???

Yes… Yes… I know, Antagonist… Protagonist… Bla Bla Bla, but still, wouldn’t you just ONCE like to see Elmer Fudd COOK Bugs for dinner? OKOKthat would be the end of the show, so maybe he could just catch him, torture him for a while, and then let him go. What do you think?

I KNOW what you’re thinking here people, Sooz has the makings of a serial killer doesn’t sheEVIL LAUGH!!! ORMaybe she should just start watching HGTV instead huh?

Sorry,sometimes I just get carried away when I watch cartoons. I guess I should just stick with something I KNOW, like, Sex in the City reruns, or, maybe Porn TV.

Just once….Come on Warner BrothersJust ONCE!!! OK, I’m done now….I feel MUCH better….Phew!!!

Until later…