Sooz Talks With God

Sooz: Hey God, what’s up, it’s Sooz.
God: Sooz Who?
Sooz: Come on God, I spoke with you once in 84, remember, the stolen bicycle incident?
God: Oh yeah, you copped to stealing that kids bike in the neighborhood, right?
Sooz: Yup, that was the time. AnywayI have something on my mind I wanna run by ya.
God: Go for it, I have about 15 minutes time before my tennis match with Gabriel.  You didn’t “BORROW” another bike did you???
Sooz: Nooooooo!!!!!!!!  Come on God, I’m 43 years old now, I don’t ride bikes anymore… I have something else to ask you.
God: OKLet’s HAVE it Sooz. Time is clickin’ away…
Sooz: Well….I am kinda distressed.
God: About your writing skills???

God: Oh come on Sooz, “Just Ask Sooz”Pahleeeeez!!!!
Sooz: What’s WRONG with “Just Ask Sooz”?
God: Seriously? You want me to believe that all those people come to YOU for advice for their WACKO questions?
Sooz: Ahhhhh Yeah!!!
God: You are too tongue and cheek with the answers….Short and sweet….That’s what *I* say…
Sooz: But the audience LOVES tongue and cheek God…
God: Did you FORGET who you’re speaking to young lady? (Thunder Rolls)!!!
Sooz: Sorry… I’ll try harder.
God: And what about that “Sue’s Fractured Fairy Tales” or “Sue’s Quotes”, come on SoozDRIVEL!!!
Sooz: Wow!!! Thank goodness I don’t WRITE my prayers to you huh? Anyway, here’s my problem… I CAN’T WHISTLE…
God: WHAT???????????? I give you brains,  great looks, and did I mention great tits, and YOU’RE worried that you can’t whistle?
Sooz: YUP!!! I want to be able to go into a bar, see someone who is built and be able to whistle. Is THAT so wrong?
God: It seems to ME young lady that you have been using your mouth QUITE effectively in AHHHHEMLovemaking. Is THAT what they call it now?
Sooz: Yeah, sure God, but I STILL want to whistle.
God: “Just put your lips together and blow”THAT’s how you whistle Sooz. Listen, Gabriel is here so I have to go.
Sooz: WellOKThank you, I think?!?
God: No problem Sooz, THAT’S what I’m here for. Now that I’ve helped YOU, I can get back to creating World Peace, Fixing the Ebola outbreaks, and work on the OTHER diseases and pestilence we have in the world. ButThank GOODNESS I”VE taught YOU how to whistle.
Sooz: Thanks for the advice, I’ll be sure to come back when I need more criticism. Geese!!!

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