Ten Things NOT To Do On Halloween

1. Bob for apples in a tub filled with Vodka—You may not only GET the apple, but SOMETIMES, an unexpected “date!!!”

2. Go trick or treating with a garbage can on wheels….TACKY!!!

3. Being 43, dressing up as a Hooker, and saying that the the candy is for a “FRIEND” of yours.

4. Asking for “EXTRA” helpings of candy for your dog….P.S. You don’t HAVE a dog.

5. Milking the system by going out trick or treating EXTRA nights and saying that your MOM said it was OK…..

6. Coming back to the “GOOD” houses twice…..Dressed in different costumes.

7. Draping Toilet Paper all over someone’s tree and then LIGHTING it…THIS one will cost around 5–600.00 dollars to fix…..Just a guess…..(Walks away)…..

8. Playing place the condom on the Skeleton….With someone DRESSED as a Skeleton. OOPS!!!!!!

9. Getting drunk, and yelling “trick or treat” while lighting a bag of dog poop on the front steps of a Police Station…I MIGHT have done this one…????????

10. Sleeping with the Goblin you THOUGHT was your husband/wife. Turns out your NEIGHBOR had the same costume…. .