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Just Ask Sooz

Dear Sooz:

I was recently invited to an engagement party. I was a little shocked because I have only known the bride to be for a short time. I am wondering if this means I will automatically be invited to the wedding? I was just a little shocked, and am wondering if I should be thinking about buying a wedding gift.

Confused in Detroit

Dear Confused:

Well, I guess it all depends on what your GIFT was for the engagement party, just kidding. Etiquette dictates that if you were invited to the engagement party that you will definitely be invited to the wedding.

I would start shopping for a nice gift now as the invite should be arriving soon. Enjoy!!!

Did We Ever REALLY Land on the Moon-Truth or Conspiracy Theory


Did we ever REALLY land on the moon? For years this question has been circling around the back rooms and dinner tables around the Nation. Many will say WHAT, of COURSE we did, while others firmly believe we didn’t.
Here are some of the reasons why folks say that we DIDN’T actually land there.
1.    Back in the 1960’s our technology was good, but many experts argue NOT good enough to accomplish such a feat. Many believe that robot probes had certainly been sent there, but argue that at the time, technology was not yet advanced enough to overcome the radiation belt of The Van Allen Sector, hence being able to bring  Human through the belt and return successfully alive.

2.    The Russians and the US had been racing back and forth throughout the decade of the 60’s trying to beat each other to be the first to land on the moon. With the US clearly trailing, the Government wanted to ensure that WE were the first to land there, thus, strenghthing our cold war status.

3.    There was so much money being funneled into landing on the moon before he decade ended, and KNOWING that we couldn’t pull this feat off in the time allocated and to ensure Government funding, the US FAKED the Television moon landing.

4.    The Moon landing re-instill a sense of PRIDE in the American people, thus taking their minds off of the Vietnam War and the economic troubles we had at the time.

Now, am I saying it didn’t happen, NO, I am just playing the devils advocate here. What are YOUR thoughts on the subject? Let me hear from you…
Until Later…

Giggle Time–50 Shades of Grayish–

I have been a little down in the dumps lately so I haven’t felt much like being on line. I came across this joke though and it made me smile, I hope it does the same for you…


50 shades of grayish
He was in ecstasy, with a huge smile on his face  as his wife moved forwards
then backwards, forward then backward, again and  again.
Back and forth, back and forth, in and out, a little to the  right, a
little to the left, she could feel the sweat on her forehead, between her breasts, and
trickling down the small of her back, she was getting
near to the end.
Her heart was pounding, her  face was
flushed, she moaned, softly at first, then began to groan  louder.
Finally, totally exhausted, she let out a piercing scream
and shouted; “OK, OK, you smug bastard, I  can’t parallel
park, YOU do it!!!!

Down, But NOT Out

For those of you who may know me, you have probably realized that I have not been blogging recently. It wasn’t because I was really busy, it was because on Sunday night when I returned home from Brazil, I suffered a heart attack.

I had been feeling tired while inspecting my business in Brazil, but just thought it was from working too much. When I returned to the States, I started to feel a slight chest tightening, followed by shortness of breath. I immediately sat down in my comfortable recliner, put my feet up and just rested. Slowly, the episode passed and I just went to bed.

Monday at around 3:45 AM, I woke up feeling nauseous and again with shortness of breath and chest pains. I decided that it would be in my best interest to get to the hospital to have this checked out. I called and woke one of my friends who immediately came over and took me to the ER.

I checked in at reception, gave all my insurance info, and when they heard it was heart related, I was immediately taken to a room for blood work and the other usual standardized things like blood pressure and temperature readings.

Let me just stop here and tell you all that I am NOT a good patient. I respect what the medical community does and I am grateful, but, I am an answer woman, I need answers NOW!!! WaitingDON’T GET ME STARTED…..I consider myself a mover and a shaker and I HATE waiting. Unfortunately, I was in the Hospital and I was playing by THEIR rules. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Every 15 minutes someone would come in, take my blood pressure and temperature, and tell me the Dr. would see me shortly. Well, THEIR shortly turned out to be 2 hrs… I was FURIOUS…I could have had a HEART ATTACK just from being that angry.

FINALLY, the Dr. comes in, shakes my hand, and asks how am feeling? ” I am feeling PISSED OFF Doc, what the Hell is wrong with me?” He explained in his sweetest bedside manor, (He was CUTE!!!), that my XYZ enzymes were through the roof and that I had suffered a heart attack. WTFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

At that point I would have been the BEST fly catcher EVER as my mouthed hit the gurney. He explained that I would have to stay and undergo some tests to see how much damage was done to my heart. Kicking and screaming I agreed but I asked how long I would be in there. He said 5-7 days depending on how I was doing. I smiled, and told him that I was a fast healer, HE smiled, and said “We’ll see.”

SoFor the next five days I was on my BEST behavior (That means NO SEX), I did what they told me and ate WONDERFUL Hospital food from the Cardiac Diet….BLAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bottom line, after a myriad of tests and eye batting, I was FINALLY able to get sprung from my WELLNESS ClinicI will be off work for 30 days pending about a million follow up visits and blood tests. I tried to negotiate with the Dr, by saying three weeks, but, he just shook his beautiful little blond haired head and said “NOPE.”

Get thisNOW I have to go on a fat reduced Cardiac Diet wit EXTREMELY low salt. WHAT?????? Well, I guess all in all I was lucky because it didn’t do that much damage to my heart muscle. I promised the Dr. I would be a “Good Girl” and do just what he saidWe’ll SEE??????????

Just Ask Sooz

Dear Sooz:
My name is Magie, I am 35, and I read your column religiously. My problem is, I am a very sexual person who would like to have my “hairless forest” cleaned by my husbands tongue. He is unfortunately a Germaphobe and will never satisfy me that way.
I have bathed, placed nice perfume down there, and even showed him articles where it won’t hurt him in any way, but, to no avail. Don’t get me wrong Sooz, the sex is very good, it’s just not what floats my boat the best, ya know?
I am at my wits end here and don’t know what else to do. Can you help me?
Needs Forest Cleaned

Dear Needs Forest Cleaned:
Alas, I am sorry for your dilemma. Many men have this phobia, it is very common. The only thing I could suggest is sex therapy, this may help to ease his fear of “catching” something, and enjoy that variety of sex more.
Try this, have a nice dinner, some wine, and then try and explain to him that while you are totally satisfied with his lovemaking, you would REALLY go crazy if he would just “Clean Your Clock”. I think once he tries it, you will have acquired a new variety of lovemaking.
I hope he will try it, because once he does, and he sees how you react to his touch, he will become a happy camper. Good luck.

What is Your FICO Score


For those of you who may NOT know what FICO is, it stands for Fair Isaacs Co. It is an analytical service provider which calculates a score between 300 and 850, which enables the three major credit bureaus to determine your credit worthiness when applying for credit.

The closer your score is to 850, the better your rate will be when applying for a loan. A good credit score is usually between 700 and 750, where a great credit score is anything above this, and will insure you the best possible rates.

Now for the twenty four thousand dollar question, how can I obtain a credit score of this magnitude? If you said, I will just click my heels together three times while saying “Give me an 850 FICO score”, chances are, those heels will be worn out long before that score ever comes.

So what’s the best way to earn that elusive 700 score or better? Here are a few steadfast ways you can use to improve your credit score.

  • · The absolute best way to insure your credit scores will be good, is by paying your debts on time. This may sound simplistic, but, even missing your payment due date by one day, could reflect a thirty day delinquency on your credit report. Each degree of delinquency reported, whether it’s a thirty day, sixty day, or ninety day delinquency will greatly reduce your overall score.
  • · Don’t apply for too many credit cards, goods or services, or bank loans within a six month period. The more inquiries reported, the lower the FICO score will be on the three major credit bureaus.
  • · The longer you have credit established, the more points are generated in your favor. That is why it is ill advised to cancel your credit cards once you have them paid off. Unless you are paying a high annual fee, or the interest rate on the card is extremely high, merely leave the balance as zero.
  • · Don’t carry too much debt. Ideally, your debt load should be no more than thirty five percent of your gross income. For every five percent above that, your FICO score is lowered. On the other hand, don’t carry too little debt either, usually carrying five or six credit accounts on your report is perfect as long as your debt ratio is thirty five percent or under.

Certainly there are other items on your report, which also help you, these include longevity in your job, home ownership, or if you rent, how long you have lived at your current address. These items show stability, and with an excellent payment history to boot, you will ultimately get closer and closer to that brass ring FICO score you deserve.

As a consumer, you should check your credit history approximately four times per year to insure accurate reporting. Each year, you receive one free credit report by going to annualcreditreport.com. Make sure that the information provided is correct, if inaccurate, report the discrepancy immediately to the proper reporting agency.

Good credit history is something that follows you all of your life, make sure that you know your FICO score.