Here it is almost Christmas and once gain we’re in the season of giving. There are Toys for Tots, and Booze for Sooz, (Just Kidding), and of COURSE that PERFECT gift for Aunt Martha and Uncle Derwood, the beloved Fruit Cake.
OK…raise your hand if you actually LIKE Fruit Cake. THAT’S what I thought; I only see 2 hands out of the 6 Billion people who are reading this…WHAT??? It COULD happen..??!!??
So…Why is Fruit Cake such a hated culinary entity? I KNOW what you’re going to say…It’s because it tastes like a BRICK with DISEASED STUFF all over it. Was THAT right? Well, THAT’S what it looks and tastes like to me. Come on…Who’s WITH me here???
I mean Fruit Cake is NOT what you think of when you hear the word cake. Cake is something that is deliciously GOOD; it’s light and fluffy, and covered with all kinds of thick rich melt in your mouth frosting. It is NOT something that you could build houses with.
Think about it, WHO in their RIGHT mind puts candied fruit in something they call cake, and has the consistency of a gold brick? Does THAT sound appetizing???
Being a decent cook, I can tell you first hand, Fruit Cake is supposed to be AGED like a fine wine for 10 weeks after it is baked. YUP…You heard me, 10 freakin’ weeks. WHAT???? If something that has to be AGED, it better be able to give me one HELL of a Buzz, or have some FLAVOR to it, otherwise it AIN’T (YES…I KNOW I SAID AIN’T) comin’ across THESE lips.
For those of you who actually LIKE Fruit cake, well, you know the old saying…He/She is nuttier than a… Well…You get the idea. Merry Xmas everyone…