Twas The Day AFTER Christmas And All Through The House…

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Well, today’s the day AFTER Christmas, no excitement, no enthusiasm, and certainly no ENERGY to DO ANYTHING!!! All the presents have been opened, all of our stomachs feel like puking from all that food, and CERTAINLY, our heads are ringing from all of that great Xmas eggnog. Good Times!!!

Well people, there are two things left yet to do today.

1. Return all the gifts that were either unwanted OR didn’t fit.
2. Start examining your conscience for your New Year’s resolutions.

As for ME, well, I just donate the gifts I didn’t want, or RE-GIFT them like we ALL do. As for the stuff that doesn’t fit, well, it just never gets worn, and once again is usually a donation.

This brings me to thingy #2, New Year’s Resolutions. Every year, the vast majority of us will labor intensively over our New Year’s Resolutions. What will we do, or NOT do in the NEW Year, to help us better our lives.
Now, I don’t know you PERSONALLY, BUT, if you are like ME, then many or MOST of those hard thought up Resolutions that ARE made, go by the wayside as of January 2nd.

Even so, I have made my resolutions, and here they are:

1. Never again will I take a pee on my neighbor’s lawn while it is STILL light outside. Yes… I actually DID this LAST year, while drunk one night walking home from the bar. GOOD NEWS… I am not drinking this year, so this resolution should be easier to keep.

2. Never put ALL of my winnings on BLACK while in Vegas. Hey…It SEEMED like a GOOD idea at the time OK??????

3. Never use the work FUCK unless it is REALLY necessary. Yes, I am a bit of a potty mouth. Now, shut the FUCK up!!!!!! Just kidding…J

4. Never EVER walk out of the house without toilet tissue in my bag. LONG STORY… If you ever meet me and you NEED some tissue…I’m your gal…

5. Always make NICE with the Auditor. Long story short, last year I DIDN’T, and BOY was I SORRY!!!!!!!!!

6. Go head, give to the poor Wino who is begging on the street for food money, he MIGHT buy food???????? BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

7. Remember to order TEA…NOT Long Island Iced Tea…

8. Kindness is a VIRTUE…Kindness is a VIRTUE….Kindness is a VIRTUE!!!

9. I will TRY and control my Sexual appetite….YEAH… like THAT’S GONNA HAPPEN!!! Gheese!!!

*** Never say another bad word about ANYONE… Unless, of course, they say something bad about ME, in which case I can CRUCIFY their asses…***

Fingers cross I will be able to keep all of these for the New Year. Good Luck with YOURS also…

Until Later…

11 thoughts on “Twas The Day AFTER Christmas And All Through The House…

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