If It Sounds Too Good to Be True, It IS!!!

I would like to address writing for a living. Writing is a WONDERFUL way to make a living, the problem is, even if you have been published, or self-published, unless you had a HIT idea that appeals to the masses, you make very little money. That’s the truth of it.

Back me up folks, those of you who have been published, am I wrong? All that I am saying is that ANYONE can write a good book, the TROUBLE is getting PAID for it through royalties. SURE it CAN happen, BUT, believe me; the odds are “NOT” in your favor.

If you REALLY want to make good money in writing, write copy. Yup, it is a very lucrative field and one that PAYS the dividends. OK, I can hear you asking, “Then why doesn’t EVERYBODY do this?” The answer is, not a lot of people know about it, OR, takes the time necessary to become GOOD at it.

“What do I mean, you ask?” Well, here’s the thing, writing copy is something that takes practice, and know how. You might be a bestselling author yet SUCK at writing copy. There is a formula which has to be learned, and then practiced before you can become good and make real money.

What is copy? Copy is basically any kind of writing. Usually, the copy that makes the most money, relates to letters. YUP, writing letters for companies who want to SELL you things. Magazine subscriptions, Surround Tubs, Golf products, etc.

There are literally hundreds of letters than can be written to aid a company make more money.  Again, the catch is to learn HOW to do it correctly. Interested, go to the library and get a book on copywriting. Then, learn the basics. After you get a good handle on the basics, write to just about any company where your interest lies, whether it’s wine, or golf, or gardening.

Explain that you would love to write copy for them. Odds are, they will give you a shot. They are ALWAYS looking for good copywriters. Then, have at it… Within one year, if you are any good, you may very well earn up to 50-70K for 4 to 12 hours/week worth of real work. After that, the sky’s the limit.

Here’s the thing though, do this on your OWN… Remember, online, there are MANY good copywriters who want to HOOK you up with THEIR courses, the only problem is, all they want is your MONEY. Remember…If it SOUNDS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE, IT PROBABLY IS!!!!!!

 

 

A Soldiers Letter to His God

 

I am lonely, away from my loved ones, and far away from the comforts of home.

Sitting in the dirt, my memories fade to better times, times of days gone by, filled with hope, and a purpose, which now fade to black.

Cold is the night, although the winds of tomorrow promise more of the same, crushing heat, and another day of HELL.

The endless days we spend here, blend together like colors of the rainbow.

I am no more a man, but a shadow, twisting in the winds of insane ideas, and moral high grounds.

Please almighty spirit, let these transgressions stop, and renew mine, and all men’s souls to a resurgence of peace.

 

 

 

Love Knows No Boundaries

I wish I could say I wrote what you are about to read, but, it has been around for a while now. Considering that next week is Friendship Week, I thought I would introduce this to those of you who have NOT seen it, and use this as a reminder for everyone else that love has no boundries.

A farmer was tacking a sign at the end of the road that read, “Puppies for Sale.”  Well, signs like that have a way of attracting small children, and sure enough a little boy appeared in front of the farmers door. With his big brown eyes flashing at the farmers face he asked, “How much are you going to sell the puppies for?”

 

The farmer replied, “anywhere from $30 to $50.” The little boy reached into his pocket and with downtrodden eyes, pulled out some change. “I only have 37 cents” he said, “May I please at least LOOK at them?” With a wide smile, the farmer let out a whistle and said, “Come on out Lady, come on girl.” Lady, the mother, ran down the along the fense followed by five teeny, tiny balls of fur.

One puppy was lagging considerably behind. Immediately the little boy singled out the lagging, limping puppy and said, “What’s wrong with that little dog?” The farmer explained that the veterinarian after examining the little puppy, she discovered that it didn’t have a hip socket. It would always walk with a limp, and be lame.

The little boy became excited. “That is the puppy I want to buy.” The farmer said, “No, you don’t want to buy that little dog. He is slow, and would never be any good to you.”

He is never going to be able to run and jump and play with you like the other puppies.” To his surprise, the little boy reached down and rolled up his pant leg to reveal a badly twisted, crippled left leg supported by a big metal brace. He looked up at the farmer and softly replied, “Well, I don’t run so well myself, and the little puppy will need someone who understands.”

Moved by compassion. the farmer looked into the boy’s eyes and said, “Son, I can see where you and Balewolf will make a good team, and with that, he handed the pup to the boy and said, “here, he’s yours, take good care of him.”

Until Later….

Just a quick thought to all my friends who are still active and respond. Remember to cherish those you care for, for without love, and friendship, we are just Human beings floating on an empty piece of ice on a sea of lonliness.

I want to take this opportunity to tell each and every one of you that I sincerely appreciate your support, and your loyality, but most important of all…Your Friendship.

Figuring Out Cheap Horror Movies

 

Recently, I was watching this scary horror film, and I had a thought. Pay attention now because I really don’t HAVE that many thoughts, so THIS one could be of value.

I got to thinking about all the scary movies I’ve watched over the years, and then discovered there MIGHT just be a pattern associated with them. (For those of you who are saying, “WAKE UP Sooz, there has ALWAYS been a pattern from the beginning of horror films”), all I can say is I’m a slow learner.

Here is what I have discovered in my 20….Well, maybe 30 years of watching horror films.

1. Never EVER go into the basement, for ANYTHING. As sure as I’m writing this, someone ALWAYS goes into the basement for some dumb reason, am I right??? Then, the next thing you know, Jason, Freddy Krueger, or someone equally as scary will KILL them. Here’s the thing, the lights are ALWAYS OFF and they go down with either a small flashlight, candle thingy, or lantern…WTF?????? Impending DEATH?????? DUH!!!!!

 

2. 9 % of the time there is some kind of storm outside…HINT: DON’T GO OUTSIDE, unless you’re gettin’ your cute little ass outta there.The killer WANTS you to meet him outside… DAH??? so DON’T…

 

3. Never stay in a haunted house overnight. Yes, yes, I know, you are macho man /woman, but guess WHAT… There are ghosts, goblins, bogeymen, and strange things that are gonna curl your insides, just do the smart thing and decline the invite. Geeeeez….

 

4. Teenagers making love….Ohhh boy, what can I say, if there are teenagers in the movie that can’t keep their pants on… Dum DA DUM Dum. Seriously, EVERYTIME this happens, someone dies.

 

         Usually, they have just finished the deed, the male counterpart proclaims he is hungry so he goes to make a snack. In the meantime,  his girlfriend is usually knee high deep in headphones, and can’t HEAR her attacker until it’s too late.

 Once the boyfriend hears her scream; the FIRST thing he does, after finishing his sandwich, is rush to the bedroom to help his maiden in distress. Once again, Dum DA DUM Dum… Poor old Lover boy is now pushing’ up daisies.

 

Certainly there are many more I’m sure you can help me with, but THESE are the most common things that I remember. If you can think of others, enlighten me…

 

Until Later…

 

 

Jury Duty Should Not be Mandatory

 Guess what I just got in the mail the other day? If you guessed that I just won The Publishers Clearing House prize of 10 Gazillion Dollars…Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz, you’d be wrong. I just received a notification for jury duty.

 

OK, here’s the thing, I’m sorry Uncle Sam, but I am WAAAAAY too busy to attend jury duty at this time. Yes, I know I can postpone it; But, I am just one of those wild and crazy people who feel that it SHOULDN’T be a MANDATORY thing.

Now before you get behind the flag and say, “But it’s your duty Sooz”, ask yourself just one question, “Why isn’t VOTING mandatory then?  Ah huh, I THOUGHT so…

 

I say, if you HAVE to sit on a jury, the LEAST they (Looks around carefully), the government could do is let you PICK your own case. I mean WHO in their right mind WANTS to sit on a boring civil trial? Give me some meat and potatoes people, you know, a nice murder trial or a major fraud case.

At least THIS way, I would still be AWAKE to listen, evaluate, and decide on the verdict. Put me on a boring trial and I will be asleep in ten minutes. Are you listening out there lawmakers???

I am SURE there must be some folks out there who would just LOVE to sit in on a nice boring civil case. Let THEM be the ones to sit there then.

All I’m saying is that I don’t believe it should be MANDATORY. Why not poll the people and SEE who’s interested in what kinds of trials and then use THEM.

Don’t misunderstand me, I realize we all have duties and obligations that need to be fulfilled, all I’m asking is to use folks who have the time and WANT to do it first.

OK….I have officially just stepped off my soap box…WAIT!!! Is that a black Government SUV sitting outside my driveway? YIKES!!!!!!!!!!!!! RUN FOR THE HILLS!!!!!!

Until Later…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Talk Shows: Airing Our Dirty Laundry

Why is it that we are so enamored with talk shows that deal with airing our dirty laundry? Nooooooo!!!!! I’m NOT talking about your dirty socks or undies, I’m talkin’ about who is having whose baby and IF that baby is really theirs…

Talk show hosts like Jerry Springer, Montel Williams, Maury Povich, and many more, all want to spring on America, if Veronica is having Bill’s, Harry’s, or another guy she smiled at once down at the drug store’s baby. THEN, when the guy finds out WHOSE baby it REALLY is, the fighting begins. Seriously, why is THIS so damn entertaining?  

I don’t know, but I WILL tell you this, it MUST be, (Blush), because I admit I actually DVR these shows so I can watch them when I get home from a hard days work.

This of course begs the question. “WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH SOOZ??????” They’re about Ten Gazillion shows that I COUD be watching that would actually enrich my mind, yet, here I sit, mesmerized, waiting to see what the infamous test results will yield.

According to Sooz’s Psychology of Today magazine, research shows that 93% of people who watch this mindless form of entertainment have NO life…Now, that is not to say that “IF” any of you also watch these shows you have NO life, it just means that the damn percentages are either flawed, OR, that there really IS no Sooz’s Psychology of Today magazine…YOU choose…

I would gladly speak more extensively on this subject, but Jerry Springer is about to begin. So, for now…

Until Later…

 

 

 

 

 

Verbal Pet Peeves of Mine

Is it just me, or is there someone else out there that gets annoyed when someone uses the WRONG usage of the English language? While true, I am NOT the language police; (Yes…very once in a blue moon, I TOO will use the wrong grammar, or mess up a saying GET OVER IT!!!), some things that people say REALLY get under my skin.

Irregardless—I actually SHUDDER when I hear people use this incorrectly. Listen…There IS no word Irregardless. The correct usage is merely regardless.

Now I admit, sometimes I am my own worst enemy, as rarely do I stop and correct someone from saying this annoying word. In my head, I am shouting…”USE the word REGARDLESS!!!!!!!!!!” which doesn’t really CORRECT anything, so in a way, it is really MY fault for not correcting them.

My Bad…Don’t get me started on this one…Look; I understand it’s FUN to say, and that nearly EVERYONE is saying it, but WHY?? It sounds like something out of the Frankenstein era…”Fire GOOOOOD!!!!!” Remember when we actually used to APOLOGISE for our mistakes? “Oh, I’m sorry, I messed that up”. Or “I didn’t mean to offend you”…I don’t know, maybe it’s because I’m just getting older, but I much prefer THAT then “My Bad!!!!!”

Empathize or Sympathize, OK, this one is used WRONG all the time. Again folks, this MAY just be me, but when used incorrectly, it feels like fingernails being pulled down a LONG chalk board. Let me help you out here if you are one of those folks who MAY use this word incorrectly.

Empathize— is to feel empathy WITH another…To experience a SHARED feeling or feelings that another is going through.

Sympathize—to feel or express compassion or sympathy (for); commiserate: he sympathized with my troubles.

There are a couple more that tighten my jaw, but these are the most common misuses that I come across. So tell me, is it just ME, or does anyone else share the same feelings? Let me know.

Until Later…

 

What If??????????????

What If???????

These are my favorite questions to ask because they give me a good cross section of how REAL people act. For example:

What if while walking along your merry way, you discovered a duffle bag full of money. The count is substantial, yet it contains NO ID or anything useful to help find the person who either dropped, or left it. Would you…

1. Take it to the police and let THEM deal with it?
2. Put an add in the paper merely stating that a duffle bag full of “unknown” contents were found while leaving your home phone number.

 

3. Keep the money and SHUT THE HELL UP!!!

Now, don’t just say you’d take it to the Police unless that’s what you would really do. Me—I would surely take it to the police—NOT!!!!!!! I would keep the money and SHUT THE HELL UP….I would, however donate the money to all reasonable charities that deserve it like:

1. Sue’s feed a hungry stomach fund.
2. Help support the party of the week fund.
3. Sue’s get out of jail free cash by bribing a police officer.
4. Sue’s get and support a gigolo fund.
5. Cash to help girls “in need” from using the support a gigolo fund.
6. Helping alcoholics rehabilitate through the Have more sex fund.
7. Getting STUPID cats removed from trees.
8. Removal of stupid dogs who bark at stupid cats while up those trees.
9. The Feed a Cold, Starve a fever fund????????????????? My mother used to say that, what can you do???

    10. Save the whales, flying pigs, zebras, hyenas, oh, and those poor, poor May Flies. Poor things only have sex only once and then die…Someone HELP them PLEASE!!!!

So, this is what I would do with the money, how about YOU????

 

 

Sooz’s Interview with Hillary Rodham Clinton

When I found out that Hillary would be in town, I immediately set up an interview. I’ve wanted to speak with Mrs. Clinton for a long time, so, I called her staff, and she graciously agreed.

Me: So Mrs. Clinton first let me thank you for coming and letting me interview you.

Hillary: It’s MY pleasure Sooz, Oh; just call me Hillary OR Madame President…Hehehehe.

Me: So, it’s been a long grinding road so far, eh, why the Presidency?

Hillary: It was just the next step really;  I’ve already been a Senator from NY, Secretary of State, and of course First Lady, what else WAS there?

Me: How about just relaxing with your millions and enjoying life?

Hillary: What millions? Bill squandered all of that on his many Ho’s…

Me: Ahhhhh,… Right… Let me ask you Hillary, what will be your first act IF you are elected President?

Hillary: Good question Sooz, I plan on painting the White House in Camouflage colors; THAT way, our “Evil Doing” friends will have no more reason to Terrorize The “White” House, as there will BE no more “White” House.

Me: OHHHH KAY then, moving on, what can we expect about turning the economy around?

Hillary: I am VERY excited about this one Sooz, of the approximately 190 million adults currently working, I will be asking each one to donate 100.00 dollars over the course of one year. In doing so, we will raise 19,000,000,000. Between THAT, and our income tax revenue, we should be FLOATING in the dough…

Me: Uh Huh… What will you do to ensure that Social Security will not just get laid by the wayside and put millions of Americans in Jeopardy?

Hillary: I will set up a HUGE day-care facility. The children of these older folks can watch over and take care of them. Certainly the government will donate PART of that 19 Billion dollars and pay for ice cream for all of them.

Me: What makes you so confident that you will WIN the Presidency?

Hillary: Oh, that’s an easy one Sooz, there has NEVER been a woman president, and the female population WANTS one. As luck would HAVE it, I AM one. Just put two and two together and sure as we’ll have Xmas this year, you’ll get 22, EVERY TIME!!! I’m a shoe in!!!

Me: Well, Hillary, I’m afraid that’s all the time we have, thank you for coming, and good luck in the race. May the BEST candidate win.

Remember: ” If it’s NOT by Sooz, it’s NOT the News…..”

Until Later…

Get Up on the RIGHT Side…As Opposed to the Left Side of Bed?????

I’m sure you have heard this expression all the time, “Boy did he/she get up on the wrong side of the bed.”

This begs the question…Which side IS the wrong side of the bed? Also, IF you DO happen to get up on the “wrong” side of the bed, What the HELL happens to you?

Personally, I like to sleep in the middle of the bed, USUALLY on top of, or at the feet of my lover. (Blush)…I guess THAT way, two things happen, one, I never fall out of bed, and two, I NEVER get up on the “wrong” side.

Let’s review the three sides of the bed shall we? First, we have the left side, is THAT the WRONG side? If that were the case; then whoever slept on this side would automatically get up on the WRONG side, UNLESS of course, he/she crawled over to the right side of the bed and exited.

Then there is the middle or neutral ground, it’s kinda like Switzerland, you can’t go wrong as long as you stay put. Think about it, no one has EVER invaded Switzerland, and do you know WHY, because no one WANTS it… That’s MY side and I’m stickin’ to it.

Last, we have the dreaded RIGHT side. Now, you’d THINK, that this side would be OK to exit without repercussions because, well, it IS the RIGHT side. I mean, who would even GUESS that the RIGHT side could POSSIBLY be the WRONG side.

OMG!!! I am soooooooooo confused, I NEED an answer NOW. PLEASE bed gods, WHICH side IS it?????? If I don’t hear from you, then I may just pick the safest thing, and just sleep on the Damn couch….Geez Louise!!!

Until Later…