Sometimes in life, even the most popular writers receive a rejection letter now and again; this rejection letter comes to the famous author of Fifty Shades of Grey by E.L. James.
Dear Ms. James:
We have reviewed your book and, well, we have some concerns regarding your story line. We believe that in the opening, Anastasia should NEVER have done that first interview with Christian Grey. We find it highly unlikely that Ana would have EVER gotten IN to see HIM personally, as most billionaires would have their press secretaries, or personnel department manager conduct them. We ALSO felt that Ana’s best friend Kate was being kind of an ASSHOLE by sending her, instead of herself in the FIRST place, who DOES something like that?
As your story continues, Christian, who is an UNROMANTIC bastard, asks Ana out on a date and gets to know her a little better. Ana is love struck, and can’t BELIEVE that a wealthy self-made billionaire would have anything to do with her, a plain looking girl from Vancouver Washington. Honestly, WE couldn’t either. We think that you should have Kate as the lead character, and Ana play her wheel-woman.
While Ana WANTS a romantic relationship with Christian, he freely admits HE only wants HER for sex. He takes her to his ‘red room of pleasure’; a room filled with BDSM toys, and shows her HOW he wants her to experience HIS sexual appetite.
OK, Ms. James, SERIOUSLY??? The first thing MOST women would do is run the HELL out of there faster than a hare in a jackrabbit race. But Noooooooo, Ana actually considers it. We feel this is WAY beyond the scope of what ‘NORMAL’ people would do, and feel that you should change the BDSM section to let’s say a LIGHTER state of affair. Instead of whips, chains, and riding crops, you could display Dildos, Ass beads, and an assortment of pretty Vibrators.
These items, women can RELATE to much easier as opposed to being tied up, spanked, and then tickled with a feather before being sexually pummeled. At the very LEAST, Christian could give her some Ice-Cream afterwards, Geez…
I’m afraid your book would NEVER sell, we are sorry, but at this time must decline your offer. If you wish to re-work the storyline as we have suggested, please re-submit it for further review. Thank you.
The Christian Monitor