Subway immediately DROPPED Jared like a Hot Meatball Sub after allegations that he likes to watch and play with little girls.
Said a spokesman: “We can’t be a party to these kinds of actions, they may become BAD publicity for our Company, and encourage OTHERS to engage in these unlawful activities after eating one of our sandwiches.”
When asked for a reply by KWNY news, Jared merely replied,” How do you THINK I lost all this weight, from the SUBS?”
****THE FOLLOWING WAS JUST A SPOOF AND SHOULD NOT BE INTERPRETED AS A REAL NEWS STORY.****