My Drunk Diaries—Getting Arrested

At sixteen, I decided to get a job. I really didn’t know what I would apply for, but I figured, hey Sooz, you’re a smart kid, you can find ANYTHING Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I walked my cute little ass off from one side of town to the other trying to find work without success. To say I was a little dejected that day would have been an understatement. I have always been a stick to it kind gal though, so I just licked my emotional wounds and decided to try again.

The next day I got up early, told my mother I was going out job hunting, and in her best loving way, she waved me off saying, “Good, it’s about time.” So. Back to the streets I walked, searching for a job.

After about my third no, I walked into this crummy little run down diner named Mary’s Breakfast Nook???? WTF???  SERIOUSLY???? I walked up to the counter asked for Mary, and in a DEEP husky voice she said, “I’m Mary”.  I explained I was looking for a job and did she have anything that I could do.

She said, “Could I short order cook”, immediately I lied my ass off and said SURE”. So the job was mine. Basically, it was just an egg and breakfast type place, how TOUGH could it be. RIGHT??? To make a long story short, (Which is NO LONGER possible), for the next four years I cooked my way to Heaven.

When I turned eighteen, I had saved enough money to take a trip, and that’s exactly what I did, to New York City. I decided to go there with a girlfriend of mine the last of December so we could be in Time Square on New Year’s Eve.  I was so excited that night, I dressed in my BEST Sears catalog dress, and Amber and I headed out for the experience of our lives.

Back then, in Dinosaur days, you only needed to be eighteen to buy beer and liquor. We stopped at a liquor store for ME, and then a Quick Stop place to pick up beer for Amber. By eight PM we were BOTH flying high.

By ten, we were drunk as skunks (I didn’t even know that skunks were big DRINKERS), when a woman BUMPTED into me and never bothered to say excuse me. I was so pissed, I confronted her about it and she told me to F%&*^K Off!!!

Could I have just walked away, ignored it, sure, DID I, NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! I cold cocked her, whereby she fell to the Earth like a meteor crashing to ground.. Lucky me, a cop was right there. He grabbed me up, handcuffed me, and hauled me off to the drunk tank…Happy New Year to me!!! Luckily, Amber found me and bailed me out. At this time I SWORE to myself…NO MORE DRINKING…Until the next time…

Until Later…


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