Just Ask Sooz

Dear Sooz:

I would love to be part of your Just Ask Sooz letters. Hopefully, you can give me some ideas on how to feel better. I’m so alone Sooz, I moved to my super small hometown when my mom was diagnosed with cancer two years ago.

I gave up all my friends to come here. I dated this horrible man for the last two years, and recently ended it right after my mom passed. When the storm of her illness calmed, it became so apparent how wrong he was for me.

Everyone that cared about me, hated him anyway. I am so lonely. I’m jealous of my exes and their new loves, just because they’re happy. Understand this; however, I don’t want them back, their exes after all, for a reason.

I’m 40, a single mom supporting a household on her own; a sick father, and a full time business to run that I’m not passionate about. I am lonely Sooz, I have no one to talk to.

 I’ve never had a problem getting guys to notice me, but the wind has been knocked of my sails. How do you reach out? How do you make friends? I’m so weak and lonely that my confidence is gone. I appreciate your blog so much! Thanks for your help.



Dear Juls:

I look at this letter and I think, DAMN, I could have written this. Of course, I’ve never been married, have no kids, and both my parents are gone. OK, I COULDN’T have written this because we DO have different things going on in our lives.

First, let me say how sorry I am about your mother that must have been very hard. The fact that you ALSO have to deal with a sick father is NOT helping with your burden either.

Being lonely SUCKS, here’s what I would suggest for you to do to help make new friends.

Take an art class at night. It’s not so much the art as it is getting out and meeting new people. HINT: Men LOVE to pick up women from art classes. Many towns have a community center where they will hold this type of class.

How about knitting or needlework clubs? I never thought I would enjoy it, but I tried it once and made many new friends. Hell, I even knitted a baby blanket.

The Laundromat, the library, and even starting a book club are a great ways to meet nice people. You could ALWAYS put a plackard around you saying,”BEFRIEND ME,” but that’s so 90’s…..If worse comes to worse, you could go to a club but the people there are usually JUST about getting laid.

The saying “To get a friend, you have to BE a friend” is true. Only you can initiate that first spark between two people, so, get out there and start sparking dam nit!!! Seriously, good luck.


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