Just Ask Sooz

Dear Sooz:

About a year ago, after 22 years of marriage, my husband told me he was in love with another man and was leaving me for him. Obviously, I was devastated. For 22 years he has always been loving and kind, but a little distant when it came to sex.

Luckily, we have no children, but my life has just been turned upside down. My question is, is there a way I can bring him back to me? I realize he is enamored with another man, but I still love him.

He claims he still loves me also, but, this other man seems to have him wrapped around his little finger. How can I make him understand that what he has with this other man is just a fling and that I am his real soulmate?

Crushed Soul

Dear Crushed Soul:

From the way you describe this situation, your husband may have been a closeted homosexual for some time. Many times they would marry to keep their true identity a secret. Or, it also could be that he is bisexual.

Either way, it seems his homosexual self has appeared. If indeed he DOES love you, perhaps you can persuade him to go to counselling to try and save your long term marriage.

If, however, your husband has decided to come out of the closet, I am afraid his sexual and emotional needs of this other man may outweigh his love for you. I sincerely hope I am wrong here, but I would say the odds are against you.

I wish you much luck and sincerely hope you can salvage your long term relationship. Good Luck…I’ll be thinking about you .


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