I am a 45 year old man who is in love with a 28 year old woman who is incarcerated. It started when I received a request to be her pen pal. We have communicated now for over a year through letters, phone calls, and e-mails, but, I have not been able to visit her because I myself was jailed once and they won’t permit visitation.
I have purchased gifts for her and she seems to be very appreciative, and she says she wants to live with me when she gets out, which will be within the next 6 months. I am all for this idea, but, I have a 22 year old daughter who lives with me and has no knowledge of her.
I am scared Sooz, and I do not want to hurt my daughter in the process. What should I do?
Prisoner in My Own Mind
Dear Prisoner in My Own Mind:
My question is, “How can you say it’s “LOVE”, all you have done is write letters and make calls to each other. You have never seen her, spent any amount of time with her, and the biggie (In MY mind), have never slept with her. How in HELL do you know if you are even compatible? What do you really KNOW about her.
For example, let me play the Devils advocate here. How “MANY” pen pals does she have? Has she received gifts from them also? Does she give THEM the same story she is giving you? What I’m saying here is how can you be sure she is trustworthy?
Second, you have never seen her, or lived with her, so how can you “KNOW” her heart? Look, I am all for love and marriage, but without knowing more information, I am afraid that I would just recommend to take it slow.
I would inform both your girlfriend AND your daughter about her existence and your feelings. You are probably right in assuming this could hurt your daughter. I mean with a seventeen year age difference to begin with, it would take a special relationship to stick.
As I said, take it slowly, SEE where it goes, and THEN make your decisions. I wish all of you good luck.