A Letter From My Favorite Childhood Toy

On my fifth birthday, I received the best present ever; my very own Cabbage Patch Doll. I named Judy (Not her given name but the name I called her), she is the blond in the yellow dress.

cabbage patch dolls A Letter From My Favorite Childhood Toy

Judy and I did everything together.  We had tea parties, slept together and I even told her my most coveted secrets. Being a lonely and shy growing up, I guess you could say that she was my best friend.

832mailbox 300x277 A Letter From My Favorite Childhood ToyAs years passed, Judy and I drifted apart. Boys soon replaced my best friend as a new source of amusement. Judy was placed in a box and given away to the Salvation Army. I hadn’t thought about Judy in years until one day I got a letter in the mail. It was sent to MY address and only addressed Attn: Sue.

Curious as to who it was from I opened it and started to read.

Dear Susan:
You probably don’t remember me, but I am writing because I miss you. It’s Judy. That’s right, your childhood best friend. I thought I would write you and let you know what’s been happening in MY life ever since you sent me to the Salvation Army.

I was stuffed in that box, as you recall, with the OTHER toys you didn’t play with anymore. There was that OLD Betsy Wetsy Doll, Barbie and Ken, an old blanket that you used to suck on, and some old kid’s games. Well…Let me tell you Susan, it was NO picnic being stuck in that box for two days before they took us out.

Betsy Wetsy did her peeing thing SEVERAL times. It STUNK to high Heaven in that suffocating box! With HER pissing, and Barbie and Ken getting it on under your old blanket, I could hardly stand it. The stench and the sexual groaning noises were driving me CRAZY!  I mean, what IS Barbie anyway, a doll or  FUC—G RABBIT???  

237987161528415561 Z7UKGgfC b A Letter From My Favorite Childhood ToyAnyway, after getting out of the box, (The guy who handled me had hands that were freezing, AND, I think he DIDDLED me), all of us toys stunk, he decided to give us a bath. How embarrassing! Betsy Wetsy and the blanket he put right in the wash tub. ME, he SPRAYED with some kind of Industrial cleaner that smelled like some old Human woman’s perfume. YUCK!!!

AP16903RaggedyAndyClassic17 268x300 A Letter From My Favorite Childhood ToyI was put on the shelf with the other toys waiting to be adopted again. All of sudden, Raggedy Andy came over and started to chat me up. He was VERY cute, Susan. I love how he dresses and that cute little triangle nose of his. Before you knew it, he and I fell in love. We were inseparable. We did everything together. We read books, went for long walks in the store, we even kissed in the moonlight by the stores window.

One very romantic night, that sexy little devil put his hand up my dress. He made me SOOOO HOT, I just HAD to sleep with him. I know, RIGHT??? Me and Raggedy Andy, go figure…

A few days later, a man came into the store with his little girl looking for a couple of dolls. I was RIGHT beside Andy on that day.  The little girl picked BOTH of us. Susan…We could have jumped for joy, Of course NOT around the little girl.

She took us home. Lacey( The little girl’s name), loved both Andy and I just like you did. Andy and I sleep with the little girl at night.  When she would sleep, we would KNOCK BOOTS.

By the way, Susan, I just wanted you to be the first to know that Andy and I are Preggers. You will soon be a grandmother. We are soooo happy Susan! We are really hoping that our child will have ORANGE hair(Red and yellow…GET IT)???

I hope this letter finds you and yours well. And Congrats, Susan, for having your first TOY GRANDCHILD… Know that we are very happy with our NEW owner but I will never forget you as long as I live. God Bless you Susan…

Your friend and former toy,

Until Later…

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