Rejection Letter to Shakespeare Regarding Romeo and Juliet

Dear Mr. Shakespeare:

We have reviewed your play Romeo and Juliet, and we have noticed a few flaws. First off, what kind of a name is Romeo? Why not consider calling him Bill or Tony? This won’t play well with the audience you are seeking.

The next thing we noticed, here at Plays Are Us,  was the way you write so that NO ONE can UNDERSTAND you. What’s WITH all this “Where forth art thou Romeo” sentencing? Just tell it like it is,”Hey Romeo, where the HELL are ya?” Believe me, people will be able to relate better and will buy more of your plays.

The error we could not FORGIVE though, was your plot. The first part with the families hating each other, OK; but, the whole dying, not dying, then dying AGAIN…UNBELIEVABLE!!! Believe me, No ONE will buy this…

We suggest you re-write the play with the 15 or 20 suggestions we have made and then resubmit your play again. We thank you for your time, and we look forward to reading your play after the appropriate changes have been made.

Good Day to you Sir

 

 

 

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