Just Ask Sooz

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Dear Sooz:

I am a newly married guy that has a question. My wife and I have been saving for a new house. This year, we decided not to buy anything for each other for Christmas. Here’s my question, should I still buy her something, or, shall I just take her at her word?

I certainly don’t want to sleep in the dog house so I thought I would ask for your opinion.

Torn Husband

 

Dear Torn Husband:

You really DON’T know women, do you? Women are almost ALWAYS more thoughtful than men. If I were YOU, I would buy her a little something. Earings usually would fit the bill nicely, personal, AND picked out by you.

You NEVER wanna come back with….”But I thought”………Be prepared. Better to be safe than to sleep in the dog house. Merry Christmas…

 

Christmas Memories

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I don’t know what it is about Xmas time; it always seems to make me a little sentimental. Maybe it’s the love in the air, or watching the children’s eyes light up as they sit on the Mall Santa, or perhaps just the music that rings in the spirit of Christmas no matter where you go.

I was sitting in the Mall, enjoying a cup of coffee when a bye-gone memory struck me. About 20 years ago, when I was just starting out, I lived in New York for a while. I had just moved to the city with a friend of mine, who wanted to be an actress, and being broke, we picked the cheapest apartment we could find to rent.

Our eyes were big, and our hearts filled with wonder as we searched out our destinies. I remember it like yesterday, we had moved there in November, and being from a warmer climate, snow was something we only had on TV.

I remember how enamored we were with a beautiful white blanket, covering our part of the Earth with all its splendor. Just taking walks through Central Park, the lights in all the store windows, and of course the wonderful Christmas music everywhere, lightening our spirits, and making us glad that for a while, New York had adopted  us.

Christmas Eve, we gathered in our little apartment, and gathered like church mice. A Charlie Brown Xmas tree filled our 300 ft. space, with popcorn strung generously around our tree, and a string of lights we bought from the Dollar Store.

Egg Nog and pretzels were our dinner of choice back then, and Love was on the dessert menu. My friend did a few commercials, met a great guy, and settled down. Me, well, I worked in the Big Apple for a while, cutting my teeth in the Ad business, and then returned home once again.

I never will forget that great Christmas in New York though, especially the snow. Somehow, I really miss that around this time of the year. Oh well, maybe next year.

 

 

 

 

 

Once Upon a Christmas Eve

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Once upon a Christmas Eve, an Angel came to me.

Rise up, rejoice, fill your heart with love, and a miracle you’ll see.

I rose from my bed,  and through the window I peered, and saw nothing but the stars.

No miracle I saw, no nothing at all, was the Angel talking about Mars?

 

I looked, and I looked,  my eyes had become glued, yet blackness did fill the night.

And THEN, in the distance, I SAW it I did, there was a bright and shining LIGHT.

My heart filled with love, and in the distance a Dove, appeared shining, bright in the sky.

A miracle DID come, so that Sins would be undone, and Mankind lives in Peace, bye and bye.

 

Once upon a Christmas Eve…

 

Yes, Virginia, There IS a Santa Clause

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This true story of Virginia O’Hanlon has always touched MY heart, and I hope it does YOURS also. This was a letter written to the New York’s Sun Newspaper after her father, advised Virginia to write this regarding her Question “Was Santa Clause real”.

DEAR EDITOR:

 I am 8 years old.
Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus.
Papa says, ‘If you see it in THE SUN it’s so.’
Please tell me the truth; is there a Santa Claus?

VIRGINIA O’HANLON.
115 WEST NINETY-FIFTH STREET.

VIRGINIA, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. They do not believe except they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men’s or children’s, are little. In this great universe of ours man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect, as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.

Yes, VIRGINIA, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! How dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus. It would be as dreary as if there were no VIRGINIAS. There would be no childlike faith, then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The eternal light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.

Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies! You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas Eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if they did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that’s no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.

You may tear apart the baby’s rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived, could tear apart. Only faith, fancy, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, VIRGINIA, in all this world, there is nothing else real and abiding.

No Santa Claus! Thank God! He lives, and he lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay, ten times ten thousand years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.

 

 

A Letter to my Aunt Carol

Christmas has always been a difficult time for me.  Since my Aunt Carol passed, it just doesn’t hold the same appeal. I think this year; I may just spend it in a homeless shelter, giving those who are less fortunate a little bit of cheer.

My Aunt Carol, for those who don’t read me on a regular basis, is the woman who took care of me and my mom since I was a wee lass. I dedicate this letter to her so that ALL can get a little taste of what she was like.

My Dear Aunt Carol:

It’s Christmas time Aunt Carol, and as the day grows closer, I feel your warmth, and love upon me. I miss you so much, there isn’t a day that goes by that doesn’t remind me of you. Dad, and you, taught me the joys of life, and for those gifts, I shall be forever grateful.

I remember dad once saying’, “Susan, your aunt Carol is a gem, follow her and watch her shine.” Shine you did, as every Christmas you would organize food drives throughout the city, and then, would help deliver those meals to those who were too poor to enjoy the Holidays.

I remember that one year where you went and picked up 25 people from the homeless shelter, brought them to your house, and then fed them, and all of us. I thought to myself then, (as a child), WHY is she doing this? Years later, I understood your motives, and have followed in your footsteps ever since.

After Dad died, and mom went into her alcoholic depression, you came and took care of me. You fed me, clothed me, but most important of all, you LOVED me.

You made SURE that I followed the right path, encouraged me when I was down, and never scolded when I was in trouble, but (what I called lessonized) me so I would walk the straight and narrow.

When I displayed my lesbian tendencies, you merely treated me as a Human Being, and NOT someone who was “messed up”.  I took your lesson well, and have always tried to treat others the way YOU did.

I’m writing this because I never TOLD you all of this in person. I want you to know that I respect you, learned from you, but MOST importantly, I LOVED you.

If there IS a God, I sincerely know that you will be at His side him watching over me, and directing me, and to continue your wishes. I love you, Merry Christmas.

Susan

 

 

 

 

 

Random Thoughts for Who Ever is Interested

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I sit here today in front of my hearth, and dream about a better world. A world without hunger or thirst, without disease and suffering, and I am convinced, that we as Human Beings were made to eradicate these unforgivable tragedies.

The problem, as I see it is this…We are a selfish lot. We all want things to be nice and cozy within our own inner circles, WITHOUT really giving much thought to the plight of others. Now, is it WRONG to be concerned about our own well being, and for those who are close to us, of course NOT.

Where we need to change as people, is in our AWARENESS of the ones who are less fortunate than we are. I believe that with the wealth of our great Nation alone, hunger could be eliminated. Billions who are suffering the pains from the lack of food could not ONLY be fed, but taught HOW to grow and obtain food food for a lifetime.

Here’s the problem, SELFISHNESS and GREED.  While our leaders ‘Say’ they are doing everything they can to feed the starving, and heal the sick, a vast majority of our money goes into the Military Defense Budget. The truth is, we have so many Nukes, we could blow the world up several times. My question…WHY???

The answer of course is because everyone ELSE has them also. Seems kind of childish to me, being a simple person with simple thoughts. If ONLY the world could SEE and UNDERSTAND that by putting AWAY our hatred and selfishness, and helping OTHERS instead, we could change our world for the better.

My question…When will we EVER learn?????

 

Just Ask Sooz

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Dear Sooz:

I write this to you because you are my last hope. Two years ago my husband of 26 years passed. We did everything together Sooz, from vacationing, to just eating out. Bill was my life and soul mate.

I have tried to get back on the dating horse, but my heart just isn’t into it. I am so lonely that I wake up, and go back to bed with tears in my eyes.

I feel like there is just nothing left in me that is worth while. I have purchased sleeping pills, but haven’t had the courage to take them as of yet. I am just so depressed, and I don’t know what I am going to do.

All my family is gone and Bill and I never had any kids. I am just so alone, I feel helpless and unwanted. Can you give me a reason why I should go on living? If not, I am just going to end it all.

Hopeless in LA

 

Dear Hopeless in LA:

Please realize that I am NOT a trained psychologist or psychiatrist. This time of year is especially hard for folks like you. Let me just say this, YOU matter to ME.

My father killed himself while I was there and I have never gotten over that terrible feeling. I BEG you, see a therapist. Many times the right medication, or just the talking with another person can help the situation.

I have provided a list of folks in your area that I have found to be good, PLEASE SEE one of them. Better yet, let me fly out and I will be there for you. PLEASE…Don’t do anything rash.

I am enclosing my email address, USE it PLEASE. No one on MY watch is dying, get in touch with me.

As it turned out, I DID fly out to LA and took her to a therapist. I am happy to report that as of now, she is in group therapy, has met someone, and is a much happier person.

Suicide is pain beyond belief. If you or a loved one has feelings of self harm, PLEASE contact someone in your area now. If you need assistance, email me at dreamshadow59@gmail.com. I will be glad to help you the best way I know how.

 

 

Christmas Magic

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Once upon a time in a land far, far away, there lived a little mouse. Squeaker was a poor mouse,  he lived in the walls of the old town church, ate the scraps of food that the church Pastor would leave him, and slept on the hardwood floors blocked up against a corner to keep the howling wind from finding him.

He was alone, once the product of a large family, a recent storm flooded his cozy, warm home in the fields, wiping out his entire family, which left Squeaker the sole remaining heir. He wasn’t used to feeding himself, as his mother used to bring in all the food to their nest, and prepare it for the family.

These last few days had been a real awakening for him. He had to leave the only place he knew, find a place to live, and THEN, search for food. Luckily, Pastor Mike, who was also alone, befriended him and dropped some crumbs for him after every meal.

Squeaker really liked Pastor Mike, sometimes while the Pastor was eating; he would come out of his little hiding place and watch the holy man as he ate. Sometimes, he wondered if the Pastor was as lonely as he was.

The church had been VERY slow these past few weeks. He would watch the parishioners who once attended weekly, now trickle off to just a handful. It had been a while since a smile turned upon the old man’s face.

 Once, one night while searching for food, Squeaker noticed the old man darning his socks in the wee hours of the evening. He wondered if Pastor Mike’s downtrodden expression was because life had dealt the holy man the same obstacles that had befallen him.

As the late hours of the eve turned to early morning, sleep overcame both the little mouse and the clergyman. Both Squeaker and Pastor Mike had a very restless sleep. Tossing and turning, their dreams haunted them.

Squeaker awoke, startled to find a man the villagers described as Santa, standing there as plain as day before him. He asked Squeaker, if he had one wish for Christmas, what would it be?

Without thinking, Squeaker remarked that he wished that his friend, Pastor Mike would once again be happy. The kindly old spirit turned to Squeaker and smiled, then disappeared into the night.

Pastor Mike ALSO woke with a start. Before him, ALSO stood a ghostly figure, dressed in red, and a smile that ran from ear to ear. Startled, Mike said, “Who ARE you?” The jolly old man replied, “I am the spirit of Christmas miracles.”

As he had asked Squeaker, the spirit asked Mike what HIS one Christmas wish would be. Again, without hesitation, Mike said that he would like to see his friend, the little mouse, be happy and not have to ever struggle for food. Again, the kindly spirit smiled, and disappeared as quickly as he had appeared.

Both Squeaker and Mike then fell into a deep fitful sleep. They awoke to the sound of bells ringing across town. Christmas had come, and the harmony of the bells rang out so that ALL could hear.

As both Squeaker AND he old man wiped the sleep from their eyes, they noticed a change had taken place. The smell of a great feast came drifting in as both the mouse, and the clergyman rubbed their eyes to believe what had happened.

In the rectory was a huge feast prepared, roast beef with gravy, turkey and all that accompanies it, CHEESES of all sorts, but most of all, a note left to both Squeaker and Pastor Mike.

It read: “For your gifts of unselfishness, I have provided unto you. Now, go and enjoy, today, and always.” Huge smiles crossed their faces as they both ate till they were full.

Later that day, Pastor Mike was blessed with the sounds of his people PACKING that little church as he celebrated and gave thanksgiving. Mike and Squeaker never wanted for anything again, and all because of some Christmas Magic.

 

Ten Things NEVER to do at Christmas Time

 

Ten Things NEVER to do at Christmas Time

  1. Wrap up reindeer poop as a gag gift for your relatives. Although this sounds really fun, I have found that after opening, the smell from the poop tends to clear a room.

 

  1. Rock Around The Xmas Tree NAKED in Times Square…OK, just ONCE I did this, BUT, I gave out a LOT of phone numbers…From Jail… NYPD has NO sense of humor…Geeeeez!!!

 

  1. Ice skate in Central Park—NUDE. Yup…Guilty again, different year..You’d THINK I would have LEARNED, RIGHT??? What can I say…I have ALWAYS been a free spirit…NYPD…STILL no sense of humor…

 

  1. Get drunk and have a Threesome with Santa and one of his helpers. WHAT a night!!!

 

  1. Get drunk and try and RIDE a shopping Mall reindeer… Is it ME, or do the Police have No sense of humor? Come ON people, it was a JOKE…

 

  1. Light a fire by pouring kerosene onto your GAS Yule Tide Logs…You guessed it, I was loaded. Took me two weeks to clean up after the explosion. NEVER AGAIN!!!

 

  1. Feel up Santa’s dick while posing for a picture. I left Santa with a NICE little present in his pants. Hehehehe… Hey, Xmas time and all… He DROPPED the harassment lawsuit after I bought him 3 cases of Jack.

 

  1. Send Xmas cards to folks in Prison. Just a Forewarning people…DON’T DO IT!!! I’ll tell you why in a different post.

 

  1. Eat Vitel Toné —-NEVER… NEVER AGAIN!!!!

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“Vitel toné is a traditional Christmas dish from Argentina made of veal with a tuna-flavored mayonnaise sauce. In case you’d like to make it at home, first take a jar of mayonnaise and pour some tuna juice in it. Next, kill a baby cow and rip the flesh off his bones, put it on a plate and let it cool. Pour the mayonnaise all over it. “Happy birthday, Jesus!”

For those wondering… Someone served this to me on Xmas once… *JUST ONCE* Never again will my lips cross paths with this disgusting dish…YUUUUCCCCCCKKK!!!!!!!!!!!

  1. Sing Xmas Carols to myself at work. Too many leery eyed grins, and shades of mutiny in the employees eyes. Better to be seen as strict than CRAZY!!! NO!!! I am NOT paranoid…Looks round and behind.

 

 

How many of you BELIEVE I did any of this stuff??? If so, how many? Just curious…I’ll confirm later….MUAH!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My Things to Do Before Xmas List

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  1. Get the Netherlands waxed—Hey…Ya never know right? My next door neighbor MIGHT just just be doin’ a little Xmas carolin’. Better to be BE PREPARED like a good little girl scout.

 

  1. Have a prepared list of curse words ready when I put up the Xmas lights.

 

  1. Get drunk and sit on Santa’s-LAP …Yeah, that’s it. Oh wait…That was 2 years ago….DAMN!!!

 

  1. Send sexually explicit photos of myself in a Santa suit to all my possible suitors.

 

  1. Light up the Yule Tide Log…OR, at LEAST someone’s log.

 

  1. Give Xmas bonuses to all my employees who so rightfully earned it…OOPS!!! Not THIS year you lazy bastards…I said “EARNED” it…

 

  1. I promise to SPREAD the Xmas joy this year, just as I have done in Seasons past. (Usually in a mini skirt and tube top)… SMILE, it’s Xmas.

 

  1. Hang the stockings of all those whom I made love with care for on my mantle.

 

  1. Say a non-denominational prayer for all those who are less fortunate than me. That’s pretty much everyone…Oh come ON…It was a JOKE!!!

 

  1. Wish ALL my friends and family a Very Merry Xmas and a Happy New Year…