Ten Things NEVER to do at Christmas Time

 

Ten Things NEVER to do at Christmas Time

  1. Wrap up reindeer poop as a gag gift for your relatives. Although this sounds really fun, I have found that after opening, the smell from the poop tends to clear a room.

 

  1. Rock Around The Xmas Tree NAKED in Times Square…OK, just ONCE I did this, BUT, I gave out a LOT of phone numbers…From Jail… NYPD has NO sense of humor…Geeeeez!!!

 

  1. Ice skate in Central Park—NUDE. Yup…Guilty again, different year..You’d THINK I would have LEARNED, RIGHT??? What can I say…I have ALWAYS been a free spirit…NYPD…STILL no sense of humor…

 

  1. Get drunk and have a Threesome with Santa and one of his helpers. WHAT a night!!!

 

  1. Get drunk and try and RIDE a shopping Mall reindeer… Is it ME, or do the Police have No sense of humor? Come ON people, it was a JOKE…

 

  1. Light a fire by pouring kerosene onto your GAS Yule Tide Logs…You guessed it, I was loaded. Took me two weeks to clean up after the explosion. NEVER AGAIN!!!

 

  1. Feel up Santa’s dick while posing for a picture. I left Santa with a NICE little present in his pants. Hehehehe… Hey, Xmas time and all… He DROPPED the harassment lawsuit after I bought him 3 cases of Jack.

 

  1. Send Xmas cards to folks in Prison. Just a Forewarning people…DON’T DO IT!!! I’ll tell you why in a different post.

 

  1. Eat Vitel Toné —-NEVER… NEVER AGAIN!!!!

vitel-tone

 

“Vitel toné is a traditional Christmas dish from Argentina made of veal with a tuna-flavored mayonnaise sauce. In case you’d like to make it at home, first take a jar of mayonnaise and pour some tuna juice in it. Next, kill a baby cow and rip the flesh off his bones, put it on a plate and let it cool. Pour the mayonnaise all over it. “Happy birthday, Jesus!”

For those wondering… Someone served this to me on Xmas once… *JUST ONCE* Never again will my lips cross paths with this disgusting dish…YUUUUCCCCCCKKK!!!!!!!!!!!

  1. Sing Xmas Carols to myself at work. Too many leery eyed grins, and shades of mutiny in the employees eyes. Better to be seen as strict than CRAZY!!! NO!!! I am NOT paranoid…Looks round and behind.

 

 

How many of you BELIEVE I did any of this stuff??? If so, how many? Just curious…I’ll confirm later….MUAH!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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