Ten Things NEVER to do at Christmas Time
- Wrap up reindeer poop as a gag gift for your relatives. Although this sounds really fun, I have found that after opening, the smell from the poop tends to clear a room.
- Rock Around The Xmas Tree NAKED in Times Square…OK, just ONCE I did this, BUT, I gave out a LOT of phone numbers…From Jail… NYPD has NO sense of humor…Geeeeez!!!
- Ice skate in Central Park—NUDE. Yup…Guilty again, different year..You’d THINK I would have LEARNED, RIGHT??? What can I say…I have ALWAYS been a free spirit…NYPD…STILL no sense of humor…
- Get drunk and have a Threesome with Santa and one of his helpers. WHAT a night!!!
- Get drunk and try and RIDE a shopping Mall reindeer… Is it ME, or do the Police have No sense of humor? Come ON people, it was a JOKE…
- Light a fire by pouring kerosene onto your GAS Yule Tide Logs…You guessed it, I was loaded. Took me two weeks to clean up after the explosion. NEVER AGAIN!!!
- Feel up Santa’s dick while posing for a picture. I left Santa with a NICE little present in his pants. Hehehehe… Hey, Xmas time and all… He DROPPED the harassment lawsuit after I bought him 3 cases of Jack.
- Send Xmas cards to folks in Prison. Just a Forewarning people…DON’T DO IT!!! I’ll tell you why in a different post.
- Eat Vitel Toné —-NEVER… NEVER AGAIN!!!!
“Vitel toné is a traditional Christmas dish from Argentina made of veal with a tuna-flavored mayonnaise sauce. In case you’d like to make it at home, first take a jar of mayonnaise and pour some tuna juice in it. Next, kill a baby cow and rip the flesh off his bones, put it on a plate and let it cool. Pour the mayonnaise all over it. “Happy birthday, Jesus!”
For those wondering… Someone served this to me on Xmas once… *JUST ONCE* Never again will my lips cross paths with this disgusting dish…YUUUUCCCCCCKKK!!!!!!!!!!!
- Sing Xmas Carols to myself at work. Too many leery eyed grins, and shades of mutiny in the employees eyes. Better to be seen as strict than CRAZY!!! NO!!! I am NOT paranoid…Looks round and behind.
How many of you BELIEVE I did any of this stuff??? If so, how many? Just curious…I’ll confirm later….MUAH!!!!