Trump’s Fairy Tale

 

 

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Once upon a time, there was a man born, named Donald Trump. He was a nice boy with TERRIBLE hair. His father, a rich real estate mogul, brought his son up with a silver spoon in his mouth, little Donald wanted for nothing.

As He grew, Donald became very outspoken, pretty much saying ANYTHING he wanted without being rebuked by anyone. He knew that no one would correct him because his rich daddy would protect him.

Once Donald was old enough, his father, took little Donald under his wing and taught him how to yell at people, tell lies to get ahead, and spend millions of his father’s money to build giant buildings.

Once old enough, Donald’s father cut him loose, gave him millions of dollars to get started in life, and sent him on is own. Luckily, Donald had learned all the tricks he needed, to cheat, steal, and yell his way to success.

After spending millions of dollars  and going bankrupt four times, Trump was bored. He decided he needed something else to become successful at. He thought and he thought until he decided that perhaps he could use his unique business skills to become President and run the free world.

Well folks, here we are, the Donald is here. I’m sure that many folks who enjoy hearing loud, obnoxious yelling, false claims, and ignorant sexual remarks are in The Donald’s corner, I however am not.

Certainly this is a free Country and folks have the right to make ANY choices they are, no matter HOW wrong they may be. Let me just say…God Bless America, and may all those who are voting take the time to thoroughly investigate the candidates BEFORE you cast our vote.

 

 

Just Ask Sooz

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For 19 years, my husband and I have been in a love/hate relationship. You see, when he drinks, he goes nuts and starts smacking me around. When he is sober, he is a totally different person and is very loving.

I have called the cops several times for domestic disputes and they come, but hardly ever do anything. I have gone to a women’s shelter on three different occasions, but  Manny, (Not real name), will come hat in hand and profusely apologize. Ultimately, I will take him back.

I understand I am in an abusive relationship, but sometimes he will go months without hitting me. I have been with him so long I am just used to the abuse, can you offer me any suggestions that will help?

Battered Baby

 

Dear Battered Baby:

Pick up your cute little Bum and get the HELL outta there. Your husband is a classic abuser and should either be in treatment or in jail. Women who stay with men like this usually have low self esteem and also need counselling.

It’s this low self esteem which is usually the cause why thousands of women continue to stay with their abusive mates. Please, for your own safety, get out and stay either with a friend until you can get back on your feet or at a women’s shelter.

Leave sometime when he is gone so it will be harder for him to find you. Then, get a protection order against him. While that won’t stop him from looking,  if he DOES find you, you can have him arrested.

I will send you some literature regarding battered wife syndrome, and places to stay in your area. I give you my complete support and I urge you to consider my request for counselling.

 

 

Man or Machine?

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Not too long ago I watched the movie Her by Spike Jones. In this movie, the main character had a cell phone that could actually interact on an intelligent basis with the star, and it developed into his best friend, and then his lover.

This got me to thinking, how much of this could actually become a reality in the near future. Think about it, machines are being developed to get smarter and smarter every day. People are using the internet now to help put them together, all through the use of a computer.

Houses can be vacuumed with robots, robots wash our dishes and our wash, even the common stove which used to be just a heating device has now become electronically constructed to tell us WHEN to take the food out,  AND at what temperature to put in in at.

Where will it end? Will machines actually take over Humankind as we know it? In the doomsday scenario, that contingency is up within the top five. It’s frightening really if you just sit and think about it occasionally like I do.

I can actually see in the future where our cell phones WILL become our best friends and lovers. Sad, isn’t it? Hopefully, by that time, I will be old and gray. Don’t get me wrong, I think technology is great, I just think think we as a species should have a much tighter control over it.

Just my random thinking, I guess I should get back to work and stop all this mindless daydreaming.

Workout…WHAT???

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Like many Americans, January was the time to add all your New Year’s resolutions to your goal set. Some folks wanted to lose 100 Lbs. and look like Jennifer Lopez, or George Clooney, How’s that workin’ out for ya?

Like most of us, you have good intentions. You put on your workout clothes, so that everyone could SEE you were serious. Then, you jogged the 3/4 miles to the Gym, well…OK….25ft…But STILL,you gave it a go.

The cab dropped you off right in front f the gym door and you huffed and puffed your way to the NEAREST piece of equipment you could find. Proudly stepping on that treadmill you put it on level 10 so that everyone could see that you were really trying.

Once you picked yourself up from the floor, you re-started it on level 1, and decided to try THAT out. After twenty minutes on level 1 Yo proudly took your towel, wiped your face, which was dripping wet with salt water, and called it a day. After all, you didn’t ant to lose the whole 100 Lbs. in just one day like they do on The Biggest Loser.

You stagger to the candy machine with your towel securely around your neck, and press for the M&M’s candy. Certainly, you NEEDED a reward. Proudly you stepped out of that gym, and back into the cab, knowing full well that in YOUR mind, you did everything you could do.

That, my friends, is why most of us don’t look like Jennifer Lopez or George Clooney, just sayin’.

 

Just My Two Cents Worth

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The Academy awards this year has NOT chosen any people of color for an Oscar nomination. As a result, some of the black community proposes to boycott the Oscars in retaliation.

Now, I am CERTAINLY NOT racist, but here is how I feel. First of all, there are some GREAT actors and actresses of color who grace our movie screens each year. Does this mean however that there are ALSO not some great white, yellow, red, and or other good actors who may also delight the audiences?

My answer is a firm NO. Does the Academy have blinders on when it comes to the people who play in these rules, I don’t know, but I don’t believe that the black community needs to be up in arms because of a lost nomination.

Perhaps the Oscar committee just felt that this year there were more significant people who were NOT of color to be nominated for an Oscar. There HAVE been people of color nominated before AND who have won in several different areas.

I just don’t get the whole race card thing, never did, never will. ALL people are equal damnit and we are ALL Human Beings…Get Over it… Live your lives, invent stuff, find the cure for the major diseases, feed the hungry and have compassion on the poor. If you DO THIS, I will give you an Oscar MYSELF… Just my two cents worth. I love you all…

Just Ask Sooz

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Dear Sooz:

My husband and I have recently been shopping for cars. I would like to get a nice comfortable car with nice leather heated seats with lots of cup holders. My husband, on the other hand, wants to buy a two seater sports car.

We are both in our fifties with no children. I really don’t want a two seat automobile as they are low to the ground and have very little luggage space. I have talked and talked until my face is blue, but to no avail.

Is there anything I can say that will help change his mind? I think he may be going through his midlife crisis, what do you think?

Sports Car Groaner

 

Dear Sports Car Groaner:

If you two are travelers, a sports car will be zero good as far as all the luggage you will need to carry. Tell him if THIS time he buys you what YOU want, then next time he can get his sports car and you won’t say a word.

Hopefully, by the time it’s ready to trade cars; he will be over with his midlife crisis and will be a lot more reasonable. However, if you DO get your way this time, if he STILL wants to buy the sports car, let him and don’t whine about it. What’s fair is fair. Good luck…

 

 

Are Bald Men Sexier

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Are Bald Men Sexier

Certainly this question has been floating around for a long time, let’s see how YOU would answer it. Personally, I LOVE bald headed men, from experience, what they lack in hair they make up in confidence, style, and sexiness.

What do YOU think? Are bald men sexier in general than men with hair…?

Let me know what YOU think. My check is already in the YES column. You can answer too guys, don’t be shy. Everyone has an opinion, let’s HEAR it…

Job Change

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Job Change

Just a heads-up to everyone that I DID decide to make a career change. In about 21 months, if my brains old out that long, I will hopefully be a practicing Psychologist. I applied to Stanford,  and luckily, I know some people there. My transcripts have been sent, my essay is one and soon I should be hearing from them.

It has taken me a long time to decide this, and I believe I have made the right decision. All my life I have been involved somehow with the underprivileged, or homeless, and now I believe I can best put my talents to work helping those who need comforting mentally, and those folks who just need help in their daily lives.

I will be waiting of course to put my business up for sale until I have been accepted into the Psychology department. I’ve had a market assessment done for my business and the experts say I can get between 35 and 40 million for the business.

This should give me plenty of money to live the kind of life I want, and still be able to help my fellow man. I am very excited now that the decision has been made, and I look forward to joining the head shrinking group of America. Hehehehe…

I hope you will join me in my happiness and fingers crossed, I will make it in.

Just Ask Sooz

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Dear Sooz:

I have a sex question maybe you can help me with. My husband and I have been married for 18 years; he is a sweet, loving man with only one flaw (According to me). He loves sex in the wee hours of the morning, while I am like “What the hell are you doing, it’s 4 AM.”

I like sex Sooz, it’s just that at 3 or 4 AM I am asleep and really not in the mood. He gets all annoyed and then just turns over mad and goes back to sleep. Am I wrong not to fulfill his requests? I feel so guilty, but I am just not into it at this of the day.

How should I handle this, I have spoken to him about this, but he just keeps on doing it like the energizer bunny. I could really use your help.

Sleepy

 

Dear Sleepy:

Explain to your husband that at this time of day you have absolutely NO interest in sex. Here’s a suggestion, OCCASIONLY, when he wants sex that early, offer him a quickie hand job, or tell him to take care of his needs on his own.

I would, however tell him that you love him even though the late sex in non-appealing to you. Suggest other times when you feel sexier to get together. Hopefully, in doing that, he will understand you better and try and sleep THROUGH the night.

I sincerely wish you both much luck and happiness. If this doesn’t work, try some warm milk before he goes to bed, this should help him sleep better. Good luck.