JOKES – Differences Between Men and Woman

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I saw these while surfing the Internet and I liked them so I stole them….Enjoy…

The Real Definition of Words When Used By Women  

  1. Fine – I am right. This argument is over. You need to shut up.                                                                                                           
  2. That’s Okay – One of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. “That’s okay, ” means she wants to think hard and long before deciding when and how you’ll pay for your mistake.                                                       
  3. Nothing – The calm before the storm. This means “Something” and you better be on your toes. Note: Arguments that start with “Nothing” usually end with “Fine” (See #1).                                                                                      
  4. Five Minutes – If getting dressed, this means half an hour. (Don’t be mad about this. It’s the same definition for you when it’s your turn to do some chores around the house.)                                                                                                   
  5. Thanks – A woman is thanking you. Do not question this or faint. Just say, “You’re welcome,” and let it go.  
  6. Loud Sigh – Not actually a word but rather a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. It means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is standing here wasting her time arguing with you about “Nothing.” (See #3)  
  7. Go Ahead – This is a dare, not permission. (Don’t Do It!)  
  8. Don’t worry about it, I got it – The second most dangerous statement a woman can make. It means that a woman has asked a man several times to do something and is now doing it herself. (Th will result in you asking at a later date, “What’s wrong?” For the woman’s response, see #3.)                                                                                                                                                                              

Money

A man will pay $10 for a $5 item he needs. 

A woman will pay $5 for a $10 item that she doesn’t need, because it’s on sale.

This is absolutely true, I do this ALL the time…Hey…It’s “On Sale”…

Bathrooms

A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, razor, shaving cream, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Motel 6.

The average number of items in a woman’s bathroom is 328. The average man would not be able to identify most of them.

 

Arguments

Women always have the last word in an argument. Anything a man adds after that is the beginning of a new argument.

 

Thought for the Day

Married men should forget their mistakes. There is no need for two people to remember the same thing.

Quote From George Carlin: Women are crazy. Men are stupid. The main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.

Reference: http://www.jokesclean.com/JokeManVsWoman/

 

 

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