Hi Sooz, how are you? I am an avid reader of your column and I have decided to ask a question. From what I read, most of them are a little sensitive for the writer, and mine is no different.
My husband is good man Sooz. We have been married happily for 6 years now and I really can’t complain except for one thing. Dan loves to please me in the bedroom and he always wants to give me a vaginal orgasm.
He plunges and wiggles every which way but the right way for this to happen. He winds up frustrated, and I wind up unsatisfied. We have both read “the books” and such, but, Dan doesn’t want to bring me to orgasm with his finger.
I have told him time and time again that for some women it just doesn’t happen, but he is convinced otherwise. I have also told him that if he would just relax and aim for a clitoral orgasm, I would be just as happy. He has given me clitoral orgasms before he always seems to want to go for the gold.
What can I tell him to make him understand that’s it’s OK not to have a vaginal orgasm? Please Sooz, I need your help on this one.
Dry to the “G” bone
Dear Dry to the “G” Bone:
Well, you are right; MANY women don’t experience vaginal orgasms using just the penis. It indeed IS a skill and honestly, having a longer and wider penis helps.
The best way to experience a vaginal orgasm is for you to lie on your back with your legs spread, and have him take his middle finger and insert it into you until he feels a spongy spot up and to the left.
Then have hive stroke it with a come hither type of rhythm. This could very well take up to a half hour, BUT, if he does this, you SHOULD have a vaginal orgasm.
Of course, every woman is different and I would highly suggest extensive foreplay before hand, if you can get him to do this. Otherwise, explain that you love him and that a clitoral orgasm is just fine. Encourage this over and over until he GETS it…Good luck…