A few years have passed now since you left me and I must say, I think about you often. While my teen years were filled with anger and tears, I try and remember the good times before daddy died.
I remember us as a family, going to the park, packing a picnic lunch, and while you and dad made goo goo eyes at each other, I would be swinging, or sliding down the slide which seemed like an eternity.
It seems like only yesterday that you would cuddle me in your arms to say, “Remember the good times always princess”. We were happy then and I so long for those forgotten memories.
As a teen, I really didn’t understand what was going on. Oh sure, I realized that you were hurting from the loss of daddy, but I never truly understood how YOU felt that fateful day, YOU died also.
Now, as an adult, making my OWN mistakes, and in one instance, followed YOUR lead into alcoholism, I understand completely what drove you to your destruction.
I want you to know that I forgive you for all of those bad years growing up, and that I truly did, and DO love you. I sincerely hope you are happy where ever you are and if there IS a Heaven, I pray that God shine His light upon you.
I also ask for YOUR forgiveness mom, I hated you for years, and that hate, was unduly justified. I am guilt ridden because of those feelings, and I try each day to somehow make up for my transgressions.
I realize this is just a letter mom, but, my feelings stand true. You were a beautiful and loving mother for many years, and it is THOSE years and memories I shall carry to my grave.
God Love You…