Thinking Too Hard


Hi everyone, I am sitting in front of this damn white screen waiting for it to TELL me what to write about today. Usually I only stare for a couple of seconds before a whole whirlwind full of ideas or sentences magically appear on the writing screen.  Today…NOTHIN’…

Don’t fret, I’m sure it will only be a couple of seconds more before I get inspired by Divine intervention, and have the Psychiatrist in the Sixth Sense guide my hand across this vast wasteland of white.

Wait…I’m getting an idea…NO, it was just a rumble from my bowels telling me I should just give up this insane staring and go pee. While that sounds like the CORRECT thing to do, I will stare on, in the hopes that I will deliver some interesting tidbit of information that everyone will think about for all eternity.

OK, MAYBE for not ALL eternity, perhaps just a couple of hours. Even THAT would be better than writing THIS drivel, HELL; I can’t even remember the last LINE I wrote to say nothing of an entire blog.

OK, I’ve GOT it. Let me share something that was embarrassing to me while I was in St. Lucia. At the resort, they have a handicapped bathroom that is VERY spacious and private. I happened to be in the vicinity, when I got the URGE to pee, EXPLODE.

Now understand, there were NO other bathrooms around so I figured, “What the Hell”. On the side of the wall was one of those push buttons that open the door so I pushed the button and the door opened.

As the door flew open, my eyes viewed an older woman with her knickers all the way down, privates a hangin’ out with a good stream trickling down the toilet. She screamed, I screamed, and I tried to close the door, but it was controlled electronically.

All I could do was turn my back and pray to God that the door would soon close before anyone else wandered by and got a free show. Finally, what seemed like forever, the door, took its old sweet time and closed.

The woman came out, red faced; I apologized profusely, rushed in, LOCKED the door, and exploded. My only thought…WHY didn’t the old woman LOCK the door? I guess it was just part of my holiday experience, and one I will not soon forget.

Until Later…



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