Please help me, I am at the end of my rope Sooz. My husband of 22 years is an abusive drunk. He will often find fault with me for the smallest of things I do, then physically, and mentally abuse me.
He has been in and out of rehabilitation now about 4 times, always with the same promise, “He will never touch a drop of alcohol again.” Each time, of course, he is good for a month or two, and then just slips back into his old pattern.
I realize I am the weak one Sooz, I should get out and leave this bastard behind. If the truth be told, I only have a high school education and have never been in the work force. We married young and I have been with him ever since. That is what scares me, and keeps me with him. He has always paid the bills, as he has a good job, and makes a lot of money.
I want to believe him when he says he will change, I just don’t see the want to change, however, in him. If you can offer any solutions to this bad situation, I would greatly appreciate it.
Dear Abuser’s Wife:
While understanding your situation based on your letter, it would be MY recomendation to get the HELL outta there, and quickly. They have women shelters in your area who can give you help, and also provide counselling services that I would strongly recommend. I have sent you pamphlets with phone numbers of who to contact.
While some people DO change after rehabilitation, it appears that your husband does not yet WANT to change. I believe you would certainly be safer, and will also get a more mentally well balanced feeling once you decide to do this.
Abuse is an ongoing problem in our Country, and is also a very sad one. Many times, this pattern of abuse may have been learned from your husband’s childhood. Once this chain has developed, it is extremely difficult to break.
I sincerely hope you take my advice, as the NEXT time he flies off the handle, he may just KILL you. Good luck…