National Skate Day

In keeping with some of the crazier things folks celebrate Nationally, TODAY, is National Skate Day. It IS, Seriously, I looked it up. Although I must admit, primarily it is to celebrate skateboards and their riders.

I will say though, even though I am NOT a skateboarder, yeah, I know, hard to believe, I DO enjoy roller blading. Yup, many an early morn old Sooz will be up and skating around the city before the heat gets too oppressive.

I just never could figure out how to ride those skateboards. I DID try once when I was about 14, although at that time, I do believe I had more than a couple pops in me, and to my chagrin, I fell and cut up my knees. In case you were wondering, I DIDN’T have knee braces on, nor did I have a helmet. I guess when your drunk and 14, you didn’t need to wear all that protective stuff, after-all, I was invincible, or so I thought.

Never again did I dare to operate the likes of a skateboard. Oh well, I will just go out and do some roller blading, so Oooow!!! I hope you can all get out and celebrate this great ay with me. I’ll be thinkin’ of ya.

Sooz’s Fractured Fairy Tales

Once upon a time, in the twilight years when magic was king and swords were its enemy, there lived a beautiful girl with flowing red hair and a cherubic looking face. Her name was Suzzannah, and she was the eye of her whole town. Every day, she would go into town to buy bread, cheese, and milk, and as she sauntered through, she was greeted with the friendliest greetings you could imagine.

One day while purchasing her supplies, she saw an old woman begging in the streets. Suzannah, being very kind, went up to the old woman and explained  that she had very little money, but she would be glad to share with her some of the food she just purchased. The old beggar woman gladly accepted the food while Suzannah watched her eat hungrily.

When done, Suzzanah invited her to come to her house, there; she would wash the old woman’s clothes, and offer her a decent bed for the night. The old woman beamed with smiles as Suzzanah led her back to her cottage.

When they reached the cottage, the old woman had never seen such a sight before; she walked in and starred as she saw the hearth, and a big room with a tub. She took off her clothes while the kindly Suzzannah washed them, and she hopped into the bathtub.

An hour later, the old woman’s clothes were dry and so was the old woman. She put her clean clothes back on, and then went to hug Suzzanah. What a hug! The old woman nearly drew the breath out of Suzzanah, like a python to its prey.

Suzzanah freed herself from the old woman, and then showed her where she could sleep. The old woman wept as she lay upon the bed thinking of all the kindness that this simple woman had shown her.

The next morning, after a small breakfast, the old woman once again thanked Suzzanah for her kindness. Suzzanah, said, “Think nothing of it, and anytime you need some help, come and see me.”

The old woman then asked Suzzanah if SHE could wish for anything, what would it be? Suzzanah, thought for a minute and then replied, “I guess I would wish for everyone to have ample food to eat each day, and for everyone to love one another. All at once, before Suzzanah’s eyes, the old beggar woman turned into a BEAUTIFUL Genie. The Genie looked at Suzzanah and said, “Because of your kindness, your wish has been granted.

At that very moment, everyone in the town saw an abundance of food appear in their homes, and they found a new loving spirit, compliments of the old woman. The Beautiful Genie came close to Suzzanah, and kissed her on the cheek. Then, the Genie, sprinkled Fairy dust on herself, and disappeared before her eyes.

It just goes to show you that one good deed will be repaid tenfold. Let’s all try to live like Suzzanah, what do you say?

 

 

Pillsburry Dough Boy Arrested for Assault

Dateline: Monday, June 20th. 2016 &32 AM

Today the world took notice as The Pillsbury Doughboy was arrested and cuffed for the assault of one of his patrons. The Doughboy could be heard screaming as the police led him away, “I’m mad as Hell and I’m NOT gonna take it anymore.”

Sources at the scene say that early this morning, while making Pillsburry biscuits, the patron was playing with the doughboy by pushing on his stomach. Without warning, the Doughboy grabbed a butter knife and stabbed the victim.

Luckily, the victim only sustained minor cuts and yellow buttering wounds. Dan Blueberry, said he would press charges, and make sure that The Doughboy was prosecuted to the maximum extent of the law.

The Doughboy in response said, “I’m just tired of being pushed in the belly, I just lost it.” Thousands are protesting the Doughboy’s imprisonment and are marching outside in a private location.

Trial is set for next month, stay tuned.

Just Ask Sooz

2eeb3-woman-pulling-hair

Dear Sooz:

I have a problem; I’m a single mom with 5 kids, 3 boys and 2 girls. I work 2 jobs Sooz to try and make ends meet, I get home tired, and I am continuously yelling and disciplining them, usually the boys. I am at my wits end and I’m afraid that I will do something I shouldn’t.

I love my kids, but the stresses of everyday life are getting beyond me. My kids are 8,7,5,3, and 1. It seems as though there is no way out, and I don’t know what to do. Can you help me?

At Wits End

 

Dear At Wits End:

First of all, you need a break. Do you have ANYONE who could watch your brood for a couple of days while you recuperate? Secondly, while I am sure money is tight; I would definitely recommend some professional counseling.

I am enclosing the names and phone numbers of a couple of professionals that I know in your area who will evaluate your case Pro-Bono. You may just get the counseling you need for free.

PLEASE call one of them as I believe you could really use someone to talk with about your situation. Hey, they may also be able to recommend a good support group for you that should help ease your burden.

Believe me, they’re people out there that WANT to help you, LET THEM. Please let me know what you decide to do as I am very concerned. Thank you and good luck.

 

Single People’s Day

Gladiator

Since we have so many Holidays and I am NOT included in any of them, I have decided that next Sunday will be deemed Single People’s Day. This day will be just be for singles. If you are NOT married, you qualify, get ready to PARTY.

Things needed:

Party Hat

Streamers

Alcohol of choice

Soda of choice

Whistles

Other single people

Your best Bad Ass Attitude

Get out of Jail Free card

 

I’m counting on all of you now. Let’s party hardy and make this new found Holiday a success… Tell all your single friends, talk to you then about the exciting AFTER PARTY stories… 😉

MUAH!!!

 

 

 

Dear Daddy

girl-dad

Dear Daddy

It’s just about Father’s Day and I am sitting here thinking of you. God, time goes by quickly doesn’t it? It seems like just yesterday that you were here, hugging me, and teaching me about life and the world.

A lot has happened since you have passed daddy, I assumed control of a large Ad Firm, and became its CEO. As you taught me, I have always attempted to be fair and upfront with people, and myself.

Remember when you used to take me to the shelters to feed the poor, well, just so you know, I have continued your work there and it really DOES give me pleasure, and also pause. It has kept me grounded through the most trying times in my life. Thank you for that valuable gift.

Now for the weird part daddy, after all the time, money, and energy it took to acquire my company, I have given it all up to help people in the Psychology field. I KNOW, right? Sometimes I can’ figure it out myself.

I have started a Just Ask Sooz advice column, which I write for several blogs, and people have written me back saying how much they appreciated my advice. It gives me a warm feeling when I can help someone daddy, a gift that YOU gave me.

I am starting back to school in the fall for a graduate degree in Psychology and I am really looking forward to it. I hope you are proud of me daddy, I have tried so hard to follow in your footsteps, but I realize it’s difficult, because you had such big shoes to fill.

I miss you daddy, I think of you every day, especially in times of trouble. I keep asking myself, “What would daddy do in this or that situation?” I hope you are in Heaven cause you certainly deserve to be.

Please look after me daddy, keep me on the straight and narrow, and as always, help me to be like the man you were. God Bless you, and be at peace.

Love,

Your Princess

 

Being Unemployed Sucks

From the above title, you can probably imagine what my topic is today, yup, that’s right, it’s about being unemployed. Interesting really, I haven’t been unemployed since I was a wee lass, what the Hell does one DO all day while being in this state? God, it’s like watching PAINT dry.

I have read pretty much ALL the newspapers I can find, cleaned my home so clean you can now literally EAT off of ANY surface you want, including the toilet.

I have fed the homeless till they can eat no more, I think the only thing I haven’t done is join Habitat for Humanity, remember the “Tool” thingy? I can NOT be trusted with hammers, sharp looking objects, or Nail gun thingies that go BANG in the night.

Thank God school will be starting soon. That I can handle, along with all the good looking professors that I’m sure that will come my way. At least I still have my Brazil project to check up on as often as I want. Man, WHO can STAND being unemployed?

This just feels really weird. I have sold my business, and got a place to live, so all I am waiting on is for the school to accept one high strung, red headed Irishman amongst their tight knitted little college.

Look out Stanford, Sooz is coming…

 

A Little Request From Sooz

Grant Winner

Tricia Davidson

Union Pleasant Elementary School

Hamburg, NY

Hi folks, it’s Sooz and I have a favor to ask of you all. A friend of mine, a teacher at Union Pleasant School in Hamburg, NY, has written me to ask me to vote for her for a Federal Grant that she could receive for her classroom. Several teachers around the  country are up for this 2500 grant for their classrooms.

I would ask you all to help her win this grant by voting for her. You can vote once each day until the end of June. Here is what to do, I did it and it takes less than a minute. Click on this link, then press vote in the 2500.00 category. Once you do this, a screen will come up that says search for a proposal. Type in the last name Davidson.

Tricia Davidson’s name will pop up. Click on the picture and then enter your e-mail. Vote, and then go to your e-mail and click on the confirmation ink. This will cast your vote. Your support is ALWAYS appreciated. Thank you so much in advance. If you know anyone else who would want to vote also, feel free to advise them.

https://www.farmers.com/thank-americas-teachers/vote-for-a-teacher/

As always, and Thank you

Sooz

Just Ask Sooz

Dear Sooz:

I am a lonely gal. I say this not because I am bad to look at, or have never interacted with a man before,  I “am” in love with my sister’s boyfriend.

You see Sooz, I am 17 and my sister is 18, we have always had a competitive relationship, I got the brains, and she got the looks. Many a time I would have a boyfriend and my sister would just step in, swing that beautiful blond hair of hers, and boom, the next thing you know, he was hers.

I don’t get it, why do all the beautiful girls get handed practically anything they want, when the ones who “will” run the world have to work like Hell or it? It just isn’t fair.

Anyway, she has had a guy now for the last 6 months who I absolutely adore. He is smart, good looking, and a real fun loving guy. I just stare and drool at him when he comes over like a love sick puppy.

Should I tell him how I feel, or should I just squash this feeling and move on to someone else?

Lizzy in a Tizzy

 

Dear Lilly in a Tizzy:

As much as I and every OTHER woman out there want you to spill your guts to him, I don’t think it’s a good idea. She IS still your sister, and these teenage romances won’t last, your family relationship will last a lifetime.

Be happy for your sister, move on and find someone who is better suited for you. You seem like a smart woman, use the skills and gifts that you were given, and the same goes with your sister. Good Luck.