I have never written to anyone before, but I read your column and I like it very much. I must admit it is a bit embarrassing for me, but I could really use your help.
I have been married to a wonderful man for over 6 years no. I we are both in our 30’s and we both enjoy sex very much. Everything was fine up until about two years ago.
Out of the blue, when my husband would enter me, it would start to hurt like crazy. Obviously, this made sex uncomfortable and painful for me. I went to my gynecologist and she said that nothing was wrong after doing a few tests.
She said that maybe I just needed more lubrication and that would fix the problem. I have tried that Sooz, but it really hasn’t helped much. Do you have any advice you can give me that may help make the sex better again?
Dear Sexy Sadie:
Actually, I do. You “Could” have what therapists call Vaginismus, this is when upon entering, the Vagina constricts and thus causing the pain. The solution here is to get a kit that uses a dilator for the vagina, which helps stretch it making the pain go away.
Also, try and strengthen your Kegel muscles. There are several books and pamphlets out there that can show you how to do this. Also, the internet has some good ideas also. Many times, this in itself will help alleviate your pain.
I would try this first and see if it helps you. In the meantime, try to have your husband perform oral sex on you while you are strengthening your Kegel muscles.
If all else fails, try a sex therapist, they may be able to advise you on something I couldn’t. Good luck, I hope it works.