A Trip to the Zoo

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I went to the zoo today and saw a lot of strange things, funny thing is, the animals were fine, it was the patrons that were whacked out. I spotted a family of 4 with the adults feeding the bears apples. Never mind that there is a clear and HUGE sign in front of the cage that says Do NOT feed the bears.

A while later, I saw an adult woman tapping at the Gorilla cage, again, a sign clearly posted not to tap on glass. What the hell is wrong with people anyway? Is there some kind of “Sign Ignorance”, or are they basically saying “Fuck You, I’ll do whatever the Hell I want to”?

I don’t know, it was such a gorgeous day outside and all I wanted to do was watch a few of the animals and relax…But Nooooooooooooooooo!!!!! People around me had to be assholes and disobey all the signs.

It really annoys me when people show disrespect to the poor animals, look at the message they are sending their kids. I realize I am on a soapbox here, but I can’t help it. There are just so many rude and stupid people walking around…GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!

 

A Tale of Two Women

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A glorious night in Paris, sitting in a small cafe, drenched in the moonlight of love, and soaking up the ambiance of the most romantic city in the world, she happened. I could tell by the smell of her perfume, and the clothes she wore, like a woman possessed to make a mark on my heart, that I would be a goner.

She came up and introduced herself as Bella, (A name meaning beautiful), and said she had been watching me. I seemed to have a forlorn look upon my face as if I needed a friend. I replied,”I can ALWAYS use a friend, please sit down”.

We talked and laughed and she suggested we go back to her flat for some wine. Normally, I would have refused the wine, but I KNEW this evening would wind up being a night to remember so I quickly accepted.

Her flat was small but very well decorated. She mentioned she worked for one of the local television stations as a producer, and I gave her MY life history the more wine I drank.

After 4 bottles of terrific Merlot, we were both pretty wasted. She asked if I liked fruit and I said “sure, who doesn’t”. She poured me another glass of liquid love and she disappeared into the kitchen.

About 5 min. later, she came back with an assortment of delicious fruit stacked onto a beautiful serving dish. “Wow”, I said as I reached for a strawberry.

Bella reached and caught my hand as I was about to place the fruit into my mouth. “That’s MY job”, she said with a sexy look and removed it from my hand. She took the strawberry, squeezed it a little so some of the juice ran down her hand and she said “close your eyes and let ME feed it to you”.

Drunk and ready for love, I closed my eyes and she teased me with the fruit. Sticking it in my mouth from her lips, she twirled her luscious tongue around the fruit and then around my tongue sending chills down to my Pussy.

I was as wet as the river Seine, and I wanted her. Earlier, while she was in the kitchen, I had removed my pants and unbuttoned my top buttons to expose my best assets and spread my legs wide open for her to hopefully notice and get hot also.

The message I sent was clear, she took a banana and slipped it inside my panties. She played with that banana, touching and rubbing my clit  all over, until finally inserting it in my vagina.

Oh my God, I wanted to cum so bad, but I tried the best I could to hold it together. Then, she took the banana out ever so slowly, put it in my mouth and said “SUCK ME”.

I did as she said, placed my hands on her firm but small breast, kissing them and rotating my tongue around her nipples, and then right down to her clit I went, kissing and sucking it while inserting my tongue into her wet pussy.

I took a cherry from the tray, placed it in her love canal, took it out, and sucked it before I devoured it. I took my middle finger, sucked it, and wet her anus with my love juice.

While sticking my finger up her anus, I licked her, and sucked her, until she screamed out with pleasure. She collapsed in ecstasy while fingering my clit. She then came down on me and with a vengeance stroked and sucked until I also came into the night with a scream of pleasure.

We saw each other for two weeks while I was in her fair city, unfortunately, I had business dealings in other cities, and had to say good bye. We exchanged numbers and have talked since. Who knows, one day I might just move to Paris.

 

Sooz’s Diary

Dear Diary:

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To write, or NOT to write, that is my dilemma today. You see, I want to tell about my adventures while in Europe, but some of them are extremely steamy. It seems that my pussy just never wants to quit.

I’m going to pass this over to my readers and let THEM make the decision for me. If you DO want me to write, then I must warn you, some of the content should be rated triple X.

It’s all in the reader’s hands now, let’s see what THEY decide.

P.S. Guess where my HAND and fingers are right now???

J

 

Just Ask Sooz

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Dear Sooz:

I read your column all the time and I was hoping you could answer a question for me. You see, my wife and I have a terrific sex life, but, she has to be dead drunk in order to achieve orgasm.

I love my wife, we’ve been married 15 years, but I would like to have sober sex with her. The problem has been every time we have tried it sober, she never comes to orgasm. Give her a bottle and a half or two of wine however, and she becomes a sexual goddess. The funny part is, she usually doesn’t get drunk anyother time.

I guess I am glad that she “wants” to have sex and orgasm with me enough to get drunk, I just wish there was something I could say or do to help her overcome her inhibitions towards sex while sober.

I understand you are an alcoholic who also enjoys having sex while drunk. What’s the thought process behind this? Plese help me if you can.

Concerned Husband

 

Dear Concerned Husband:

To pin point this is difficult as there are a number of reasons for this. One, it MIGHT depend on how she grew up and her parents attitudes about sex, or, she may feel uncomfortable about sex in general where as the alcohol takes those inhibitions away.

She might just have a low libido, many women do. Sometime testosterone drug therapy helps these women. What I would suggest is to have her see her Dr. if possible and see what he or she says about this.

The Dr. may reccomend a specialist who may be able to help and hopefully you can return to a “normal” sex life. I must tell you though, for ME, I still like to be drunk when engaging in sex.

I sincerely hope that she goes to the Dr. and explains her perticulars. Good luck with this.

I’m Back!!!

Just got back from a European trip I was taking to find a new distribution site for a  business I just entered. Exhausted right now after a 12 hr. plane ride but none the worse for wear.

I’ve got some very sexy stories to share with you all, but right now I need a nap. I have missed you all and look forward to talking to all of you soon. My love to all…

Sooz