So here’s the thing, I’m minding my OWN business satisfying a need, and along comes a flea and bites me on my La La land. For those of you who need a quick translation, the damn thing bit me in the crotch.
Interesting, I have never been bitten by an insect before in THIS area. Let me just say…WTF??? You may think it’s funny being looked at like you are in a constant state of masturbating, but, let me tell you, it itches like HELL!!!
I go to my medicine chest and see if I have any anti itch cream…BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!! Then, I remember that if you put vinegar on the bite, it should remove the itch. By now, since I have handled myself like an insane woman, the bite is about the size of New Jersey, and is easily recognizable.
Quickly, I take the vinegar, put in on a Kleenex and apply it to my cooche. OUCH!!! Yes, I screamed like a child as the burning sensation melted away half my Zippee. As you can see, I don’t call my Va Jay-Jay the same thing every time.
I Immediately doused it with water, whimpered a little more, also scratched a little more, (Increasing the bite to the size of California). Desperately, I tried two things:
A. Getting my hands away from it
B. Praying to the gods of Flea itch relief.
To get my mind off of it, I watched TV thinking this might distract me. It DID until the commercial about Itching cream relief came on…SERIOUSLY??? Guess where my hand went??? Hellllllllp!!!!!