Hi there Sooz, not really sure how to open here. I read your Ask Sooz all the time, and it has come to be that now I have a problem. My name is Muriel and I am a 26 year old woman. My husband of 5 years, let’s call him Jack, is a very good person except for one thing, he has an explosive temper.
I had seen glimpses of it before we were married, but recently he has accelerated the number of incidents. There doesn’t seem to be any real explanation for them and I am quite concerned for my 4 year old and myself.
I have asked him what is wrong on several occasions, and he merely dismisses me saying that it is in my mind. I have tried to have him go to a counselor, but he is too macho and won’t do it.
I am afraid and don’t know what my next move should be, can you help us?
Dear Fearful Wife:
Your husband may be exhibiting signs of an abusive husband. You didn’t mention in your letter if he has hit you or your child. Is there anything at work that is bothering him, (Not that that is an excuse to abuse you), or anything else in his life that could have brought on this behavior?
My concern is for you and your child. If he experiences this abusive behavior again, take your child and leave for a shelter. He may very well have grown up in an abusive family, and IF so, the same abusive behavior may have carried over to him.
He NEEDS to seek counseling, no ands, ifs, or buts about it. Treatment can help but HE needs to be willing to go and seek help. Remember, stay safe, if this continues, he could be a spouse batterer. Please let me know if this goes on any further.