Just Ask Sooz

Dear Sooz:

Yesterday, my boyfriend of 4 years, out of the blue told me we were through. My mouth just dropped open, and I asked him why? He claimed he was bored with our relationship, and that he wanted to date other people.

Never before had he mentioned that he was bored, or that he wanted to date someone else. I am so upset. Are all men like this? Don’t they know when they have a good thing going? Our sex life has always been robust and I have never had any complaints.

I am just so broken up and pissed at men, I don’t care if I ever date again.

Sad Sac

 

Dear Sad Sac:

Relationships are hard, you really have to work on them to keep them fresh. It is hard for me to believe you have dated, and slept together for 4 years, and you have not noticed ANY change in him at all.

My guess, he just wasn’t ready for a committed relationship and wanted to move on to greener pastures.

Men aren’t ALL assholes honey, many are very very nice. Sooner or later someone WILL come around who is kind, considerate, and READY for a commitment.

Hang in there kiddo, YOUR time is coming. Sorry you had to be hurt, however, to learn this bitter lesson. Good Luck…

Odd but True Xmas Gifts

OK, here’s the low down, it’s getting time to buy all your Xmas presents, as Black Friday approaches. Sure, you can buy aunt Ghirta her FAVORITE socks again, and certainly let’s not forget Uncle Clyde’s favorite booze so he can STAY pickled, OR, you can shop at Sooz’s home delivery facility and use some of MY gift ideas.

Mine may be a little offbeat, however, I’ve been told there is a niche for everyone, right? Here are just a few of my ideas for Xmas that will wet ANYONE’S whistle.

• Disappearing Hair Mug –Yup that’s right, it starts, showing a full frontal view of my pussy. As you drink your favorite beverage, my pubic hair disappears until I am as shaved as a brand new spankin’ baby. Just imagine the possibilities? Only 15.99

 

• Trip the Light Fantastic With Sooz Handbook—People, you don’t wanna miss out on this. This will show you HOW to get a date, where to go, and what to DO when the timing is right. The perfect handbook for every guy and gal. A steal at only 22.95.

 

• Masturbation Handguide for Dummys—Yes, yes, I can hear you now, “But Sooz, I KNOW how to masturbate”. Believe me folks, you may know how to choke the chicken, or make yourself pulsate like a river, BUT, I guarantee UNBELIEVABLE MIND BLOWING EXPERIENCES after you read my book. Who doesn’t want to CUM 6 or 7 times a day like I do? Read my book and become a masturbation EXPERT like me. Today thru next week, only 25.99.

 

• A Date with Sooz—OK folks, this was a last minute decision, but, I NEED to get LAID. For only 250.00, you can date me, converse with me, and if your lucky, take me to your place and show me a good time. (Wink…Wink).

 

OR, those socks are still available. The choice is YOURS, I’m SURE you will make the RIGHT one. Muah!!!

 

 

             

 

How Great Thou Art

As I stare into skies of black,

And ponder the ocean blue,

I wonder if the Universe,

Thinks as though we do.

 

I wonder if we’ll ever learn,

The meaning of our lives,

That while we think, and yell, and boast,

How small we are in size.

 

We feel as if we’re special beings.

Placed on the Earth below,

Yet, in the Universe, vast and far,

What little do we know?

 

The heat of the sun, gives warmth to our souls,

The winds keep us cool and dry,

Yet what do WE give back to the world,

And should the question there arise, the best we can do is sigh.

 

Let peril not consume our hearts,

As the Earth remains to turn,

Instead, my friend, let’s give our thanks,

And acknowledge its concern.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Letter to God

Dear Omnipotent Spirit:

It has come to my attention, the world is going to Hell in a hand basket. With all the rhetoric regarding nuclear war, the killing of innocent victims, suicide bombings, and the resurgence of war talk everywhere, I have come to You for help.

The world you created was one in which man should have worshipped you, and lived in peace and harmony forever. The only flaw as I see it was your giving us “free will”. Because we are a flawed race, it became easy for the forces of evil to seep into our nature and lead us astray.

That being said, it appears that the evil in the world has taken over, and that decent folks are doing everything they can to muddle through. While I believe that there IS some good in everyone, it appears the lines from Julius Ceasar, spoken by Marc Anthony at Ceasar’s funeral were correct: “The evil that men do lives after them; the good is oft interred with their bones”.

I sincerely ask, with the help of your grace, the leaders of the world will realize that nuclear war is just a waste for ALL sides. No one wins. Every other option is moot. Let us put down our arms and convert them to plowshares.

Guide us, and bring us ALL back into your fold. Peace and tranquility for all, and a sharing of ALL our resources to help those who have less. Wouldn’t this be a better way to live?

Thanks for listening.

Your devoted servant,

Sooz