Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays

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Today is Christmas, a beautiful time of the year for many, and for others, a time of strife. I wish ALL of you from the bottom of my heart, a happy and joyous Christmas.

For those who still suffer under mans cruelty, I shall pray for you, and in my heart, I KNOW that soon things will change for the better in your lives.

No matter what your suffering, may our Savior fill your hearts, and may your lives be filled with the spirit of Christ’s joy. God Bless you all, today, and throughout your lives.

May the peace of Christ be with you all…

Merry Christmas…

Sooz

 

 

 

 

Speed Demon Sooz

When I was a young girl, I always thought I would grow up to be a Princess. However, in order to DO that, it required marrying a Prince. The problem was, there weren’t too many princes around my neighborhood.

Finally, with chin held high, I had to drop down to my second dream, becoming a race car driver. I always LOVED the sound of a Hemi when she was revving, the smell of the tires screeching out, as the neighborhood boys would continuiously do to impress us girls, and of course…”The Need for SPEED”.

Now, I KNOW what you’re thinking, “Sooz, THAT’S a BOY dream, you should have played with Barbies and done crafts”. Gag me with a spoon… Actually, I was a Tomboy, still am, and I have always wanted to drive a formula one race car.

Tomorrow, I get a chance to actualize THAT dream. A friend of mine who works at the track, called and invited me to come down, watch him drive, and then take over the reigns for a few trips around the track. I was soooo excited, I almost Orgasmed right there in my pants.

Just think of it, ME in a Formula One, Helmut on, Track Suit on, (Which by the way I will look Mah-vel-ous in), flying around the track. OMG, I almost CAME again. I can’t wait until tomorrow.

I will let all of you know about my experience once I complete the task. Wish me luck.   I am going to picture myself in an actual race, which OF COURSE, I will win. Hey, I can dream, can’t I?

Until tomorrow…

 

 

Christmas Past

Hi everyone. I hope your day is going as well as mine. I am curled up by the fireplace that I hardly ever use, with of course my favorite bottle of Vodka with cranberry.

I am actually a bit pensive today, just dreaming about some of my best Christmas experiences. I remember one Christmas Eve, I must have been about 5, our home was decorated to the nines, as my Daddy did so love Christmas, and the smell that came from our kitchen as Mom was making our Christmas dinner was AMAZING.

My dad was the most loving, and kind man on Earth. That year, he had called down to the City Mission, and invited all the homeless to visit US for a wonderful Christmas dinner.

Seriously, he did. One by one, there would be a knock at the door, and our home would quickly come alive with the wanton of our Society. Mom had prepared an amazing repast, Turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, green bean casseroles, freshly baked rolls, and of course a HUGE Figgy Pudding for dessert. OH MY!!!

I remember my daddy greeting the less fortunate at the door like they were all FAMILY, and he welcomed them ALL into our home. He would play Xmas songs on the piano while everyone would join in and sing. Good times.

People would eat and eat as my mom quickly replenished the food for everyone. Memories like this filled my soul full of joy, and they have transformed ME into a better Human being.

Oh sure, I still have my faults, but I ALWAYS remember the poor, and how happy they were, at least for a night when they regained their love for each other. To this day, I go to the mission, and invite the downtrodden for dinner. They are indeed the TRUE meaning of Christmas.

Sorry, I seemed to have rambled on a bit here, I do that after tipping a few pops. I sincerely hope you have enjoyed my Christmas past, and I urge you all to at least say a prayer this Holiday Season for those who are less fortunate than you. Believe me, you will be blessed 7 Times 7.

Good night, Happy Hanukkah, a very Merry Xmas to all.

 

 

 

Holiday Cheer

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Today is Wednesday, only five more days until Xmas and I have everything in order. Yup, tree up, decorations done, Christmas cookies done, bottle in hand and all is RIGHT with the world.

I hope all of you are celebrating the Holidays with your loved ones, and that each and every one of you is filled with Holiday Peace and Happiness. I love this time of year, we all come together as one, and spread love and harmony throughout the world.

 Sure, I’m inebriated, but none the less, I meant what I said. Each and every one of you are like family to me. You pick me up when I’m down, and you share in all my joys. Do you know what the best thing I love about all of you is though, you never JUDGE me. I am who I am, and STILL, you continue to read me. God Bless You!!!

So, to ALL of you who read me, and especially to those who comment on what I write, May I wish you the Happiest of Holidays, and may you continue to prosper now, and throughout your years.

All my Best…

Sooz

Rejection letter-Charles Dickens

Dear Mr. Dickens:

We are in receipt of your book, A Christmas Carol, and after closely reading your novella, I am afraid we must decline publishing your story.

Said reasons for not publishing are as follows:

Christmas is supposed to be a HAPPY TIME, and your Scrooge character is undoubtedly the WORST Human being who ever set foot on the planet. I must admit, he scared the living be-Jesus out of me when he started talking about debtors prisons.

I know what you’re going to say, he transforms himself LITTERALY overnight with the help of three spirits, REALLY??? As IF that could remotely be possible. It just isn’t believable.

Now, let’s talk about the three ghosts, they also scared me half to death, and I am WELL over thirty. Just think about how a child will react to this book, Hell, they will never sleep AGAIN. Especially the NON speaking Spector, this one chilled me to the bone.

I must say Mr. Dickens, while it was a fast read, I am afraid that the language you used, and the picture you paint regarding Tiny Tim was very disconcerting. Indeed, I hope that going forward, you formulate a better AND more BELIEVABLE story line.

If you wish to revisit and edit your book, we will be more than happy to take another look. Certainly we wish you every success, and perhaps do business with you in the future, Good day sir.

Bullshit, Bullshit, and Bullshit Publishers

 

 

The Great Light Fight Debate

Hi everyone. If you’re like me, you are enjoying all the joys of the Holiday season. If NOT, what’s your problem Mr. Grinch? Anyway, I came here today because I’ve been watching The Great Light Fight on Television.

For those of you who either live in a closet, or, don’t watch TV, it’s a show about who can decorate their houses the most gaudy, and fill up their ENTIRE property line full of lights, blow up figures, and mind boggling displays to music.

People who are expert judges, (Celebrities), come to see which house can make their electric meter move the fastest for the longest length of time. If you are declared the winner, you get 50,000 dollars AND, the best part, a Christmas Ornament that lights up with the old style Christmas bulbs.

My question…WHY??? Look, I am all for lighting your home for the Holidays, BUT, some of these people start in October to have their display done for Xmas. Again…WHY???

Some of the participants have as many as 2 acres to light, and by golly, they DO. I don’t know how you guys feel about this, but I just think it is Cray Cray. I mean, WHO has TIME to do all of this work? Fifty foot lit Xmas trees, merry go rounds, Ferris Wheels, and a Santa’s Workshop, (All home made), with the REAL SANTA working inside. OK, I MAY have lied about the real Santa, but, everything else was true.

Are they nice? Yes, but in my opinion, they lean towards the GAUDY. I mean WHO NEEDS all of that? Is it worth it for 50K and a 12.00 dollar trophy ornament? Not to me. So, that begs the question, why do people go through all this effort for such a SHORT period of time?

On TV, it’s because they are carrying on the work of their parents, or their wife who just passed. Is this for REAL, or is it just good Television? I’ll let you folks decide. Write me and let me know what YOU think. In the mean time, I guess I better go out and buy a few more lights.

Until Later…

 

 

Naughty or Nice

Bless me WordPress for I have sinned. I went shopping today with a buzz on and did the following:

  1. I yelled at 3 people that tried to buy something I wanted when there was only ONE item of each left. They called me a drunken Biatch, but, I still wound up with the items I wanted so THERE F**k heads. 
  1. I waited in line to see Santa and gave him a Lap Dance…What??? Hey, Not my fault, I was buzzed. I must say though, Santa had a BIG present for me, and I liked it. I tried to get his number for later, but he said he was married so I thought better of calling him. 
  1. I gave the Salvation Army Santa a hundred dollar bill, and when I asked if it was OK to feel his ass, he agreed. See, money CAN buy you SOME things. Man, I LOVE ASSES. 
  1. I stopped at a couple of bars for some Xmas cheer, and I must admit, I was VERY cheerful when I left. I had kissed at least 3 patrons, including the female bartender. Will I burn in Hell??? 
  1. I got home, staggered in the door, fell to the floor, and decided I might just as well Masturbate while I was there, I was very HORNY!!! 
  1. After the deed was done, I crawled to my bar, grabbed a bottle of Vodka and drank it till I passed out. I just woke up now. I am somewhat sober still, BUT, I can surely fix that. 

OK, how many prayers am I going to have to say to FIX all of that, 10, 50, 100, WHAT??? That was MY day folks, I hope YOURS went a lot more smoothly. Until next time…

P.S.—In case you were wondering, I have a driver that takes me around. I do NOT Drink and Drive!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sooz’s Drunk Stories

Once upon a time, probably since I was around 19, I have had a drinking difficulty. I won’t say problem, because you see, it WASN’T a problem, I dealt with being drunk swimmingly.

Understand something, when drunk, I am funny, life of the party, and a VERY HORNY woman. When loaded, I wanna have SEX, and the more I get, the more I want.

By the way, once again, I am writing this while SH** Faced. I have decided to take the month of Xmas off from sobriety and just go nuts. Hey, I’m entitled. So, if you like me sober, you’ll LOVE me drunk.

OK, I am going to admit something to all my fans, I am lonely. Being rich is fine, but it can’t buy what a relationship between two people have, THAT is special. I am looking for someone, either girl or guy, who is ready for a relationship and doesn’t mind if I get inebriated once in a while. Know anyone???

I am fun loving, funny, and loyal. Geez, that sounded like I am a German Sheppard or perhaps a Girl Scout. I must admit, I have thought about internet dating, but, it seems like all of my friends who have tried it got TERRIBLE results.

I have seen the pics they put on their profiles, they look like Adonis’s, but when you meet them, they look like Don Rickles. No offense Don. I think I am ready, but, I DO need someone with a HIGH SEX drive, and someone who is interested in new sexual experiences.

I am a catch, believe me, that is if you don’t mind me tipping the bottle a bit. Any takers??? Hehehehehehe. I am hosting a Xmas party this year for all my friends and Family. THAT should prove interesting. Thirty Five people who Love to drink and carouse, perhaps I’ll find my soul mate there, fingers crossed.

I’m sorry, I have to go as I am REALLY Horny and I need to take care of something. Merry Christmas to everyone, oh, and please don’t hate me for drunk writing. :pve to all…LITTERALLY!!! Hehehehehehe.

 

 

 

A Line From Sooz

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Tonight brings me to THINKING about the Holiday season.. It’s Christmas, a time when all people are supposed to be relaxed, happy, and joyful. BS I say!!!

If we’re honest with ourselves, (I’m speaking mostly to the women here), it’s the busiest, most stressful, aggravating time of the year.

No offense guys, but, usually it’s us women who write the cards, buy all the gifts, wrap them, bake the cookies, do the cooking, and ten thousand OTHER things during this “Happy and Fun” time of the year.

Christmas is SUPPOSED to be a peaceful time, honoring the birth of Christ, NOT seeing who has the best price for Aunt Irma’s gloves. God bless all you women who get it all done and STILL have a great attitude, you ought to get a medal.

I must admit, I am NOT one of you. As much as I enjoy the holiday, it’s a time of year I go off the deep end just a little bit. DON’T get me wrong, I am NOT a raving maniac the rest of the year, just around Xmas.

I’ve been known to push and shove people in the stores, and once, I got so mad, I tipped over the store Xmas tree at a major chain store. Sure, I had had a few, “pops” before I went out, but STILL, when they say they have an item, dammit, HAVE THE ITEM.

Luckily, the judge let me off with just a huge fine, and told me never to go to that store again, I HAVEN’T. You see my point though, right? No Ho- Ho- Ho there, just a hangover the next day and a little more stress added to my Holiday fun.

Everybody, do me a favor, be a dear this Christmas. If you are married, have a significant other, or perhaps EVEN your Mom, treat them with respect, and thank the living dickens out of them for making your Christmas go off without a hitch.

Then, you can write me, and thank me for being, and writing a BITCH letter. Merry Christmas to ALL…Cheers!!!

 

Just Ask Sooz-Drunk Edition

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Hello???

Hi there folks…I’m back. Just got my tits pampered, and my pussy satisfied, so once again I am ready, willing, and eager to write. P.S. I am wearing only a pink thong, that’s IT!!! Just wanted to give you guys and gals a visual image, wink.

OK, let’s get serious here for a moment and do a Just Ask Sooz segment. Here goes, oh, and YES, In case you were wondering, I’m still loaded. I picked this letter because it really hits home.

Dear Sooz:

I am a card carrying, drink every day, get passed out drunk. I am writing to you because I understand that at one time before your rehab, you have also been a lot like me and get passed out drunk at night.

I am a 35 year old woman, who drinks every morning, at lunch, and gets passed out drunk at night. I also don’t remember things that I did from day to day. While I realize that I need help Sooz, I also don’t want to take that first step. You see, I enjoy being drunk, just not the hangovers and sickness that comes along with it.

I don’t need to work as I inherited a huge trust fund from my parents, who died in an auto accident. I really have no reason to be sober except to try and become involved with someone. You see, I have had many one night stands, but never anything meaningful. I am lonely Sooz. Thank goodness I am drunk now as I wouldn’t have been able to pour my soul out if sober.

I identify with you Sooz, any suggestions?

Drunk Again

 

Dear Drunk Again:

This is a very hard one for me, because as I write this, I too have fallen off the wagon, and as you say, am “card carrying drunk”. I UNDERSTAND, and can tell you all the evil things about getting drunk, STD’s, broken relationships, health issues, etc.

What I heard in your letter was that you were NOT yet ready to take that first step in helping yourself. Until you truly commit, nothing will help you. You will go on being a subject to that bottle of booze.

I got clean because it started to affect me on a daily basis. Rehab was a bitch and YES, I crave it still every day, today was just one of those days. Am I glad I did it, YES, will I do it again, probably, but then it is a day to day struggle.

Am I glad I went to rehab and got “clean”, YES!!! Do I still enjoy getting drunk, YES, but living a clean, sober life ALSO has its benefits. I would give it a try, what do you have to lose except the hangovers and the blackouts?

I will hive you my number if you ever wanna talk. I wish you much success. Good Luck.