Just Ask Sooz

Dear Sooz:

I am writing for my boyfriend as he is too embarrassed to write. The problem is Sooz, he is a pre ejaculator. It seems every time we make love, within a minute, he shoots his load, turns over and falls asleep, leaving me frustrated.

I have heard this is a common problem and wanted to see if you could share some advice with me? We make love at least three times a week, so anything you’ve got to help would be greatly appreciated.

Frustrated Frau

 

Dear frustrated Frau:

You’re right, it IS a fairly common problem. You didn’t say how old he was which sometimes can make a difference. You’re in luck though, as I know a sure fire way to fix this. Here is what you do:

Take his penis and stroke it like you want him to cum, before he does, back off and let it deflate a bit. Then, repeat as before. Do this four or five times over a ten-fifteen minute period.

Try this daily for five consecutive days. Each time, extend the time before ejaculation by a minute or two. By the end of the week, he should be as right as rain, and YOU should be satisfied once again. Good Luck!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Just Ask Sooz

Before I begin my Dear Sooz column, I must admit THIS letter really hit home. It made me more determined than ever to go and try to repair the damage I have done to my ex, Bella. It was actually painful for me to write a response, yet, ALL letters must be answered. I share this now with all of you.

Dear Sooz:

I, like you, have just lost the absolute love of my life. My boyfriends name was Johnn he was the best thing that ever happened to me. Like you Sooz, I met him abroad, he worked in a café in France as a waiter while I was visiting on Holiday.

I was hungry and wanted to sit and take in all the ambiance of the city, so, I decided to go to a nice café and get something to eat. Sooz, it was love at first sight, he asked me what I wanted with the sexiest French accent and I just melted.

When he returned with my meal, he noticed I was looking right through him, he commented how the sun paled in its beauty next to me. That was all she wrote, I blushed, got wet, and luckily, he asked me out.

We went out, walked along the Seine, held hands, and I instantly fell in love. He was loving, tender, and had such a deep strong voice, I felt almost slave like when he placed his glorious mouth on mine.

We dated for six months before that awful day. Johnn had asked me to marry him, and of course I said yes. I was never happier Sooz. We settled into a small apartment and things were going great until that one morning in June.

Birds were singing, and the usual sounds of hustle and bustle of the day filled the streets like music fills your ears. He had gone out early that day to surprise me with croissants and coffee before I got up.

 According to witness accounts, as he went to turn the corner to the local bakery, a car jumped the curb striking and killing my Johnn. I learned of the tragedy from a knock at my door. Two gendarmes appeared there to break the news, and as they did, I collapsed in their arms. My world ended that fateful day. I have cried at least once a day thinking of our beautiful love.

 Broken, I returned home to America and have tried to get on with my life, but, to no avail. I miss him, and shall never forget what we once rejoiced. My suggestion Sooz, get on that plane now, find Bella, and do whatever it takes to get her back. Life indeed is way too short to miss a life changing opportunity.

Molly

 

Dear Molly:

Tears fell like rain as I read your letter. What you had, seemed like the “REAL DEAL”. I THANK YOU for your letter, I am sorry for your loss, and I promise you, I WILL seek to regain the love I so quickly dismissed, God Bless You.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The World According to Sooz

In this day and age, you would think that people would be MORE tolerant to sexual roles, race, and creed. Still, we all fight these terrible injustices, WHY???

Do we all not bleed with the stick of a knife, do we all not feel hurt feelings when called a racial remark, or accused of being less than a Human being if we are not all heterosexual?

Just yesterday, I was merely walking down the street with a girlfriend and someone shouted out lesbians. That, while the remark was ignorant, STILL it struck me to the core.

I thought, THAT person doesn’t KNOW me, he doesn’t know my life, WHAT gives him the right to slur me this way? The entire day sent me into a “fuzzy” zone and made me question the Human race.

While I understand that people are “brought up” to hate certain groups of people, I would have thought by NOW, people would have changed. After all, there are so many OTHER things to worry about these days, including the destruction of life as we KNOW it, so WHY the detrimental comments then?

Am I being too sensitive? I don’t think so. The truth is, I LOVE my fellow man, yes, even the misinformed primordial man from yesterday. In my heart of hearts, I wish that man as a species would GROW UP and become aware.

No more wars, shared food across the world, and the beneficial goal of HELPING live peacefully and happily for ALL nations. Medical care for all, and a shared love for each other regardless of our Creed, Color, or Sexual preferences.

Let us work together as enlightened beings to MAKE this end goal an accomplishment. In doing so, you will have shown YOUR strength in this difficult resolve. May we ALL as one people COME together towards this end.

Thank you for reading and listening to me. Bless you all…

Sooz

 

Just Ask Sooz

Dear Sooz:

I am a 25 year old woman who reads your column all the time. My problem is, for two years I have been going out with my boyfriend, he has been attentive, thoughtful, and is a great lover. Recently, he has been distant. I can’t put my finger on it, although recently, he has been a lot less interested in sex.

I enjoy making love with him and when he refuses me, it makes me feel unloved. This has been going on for about a month now. I don’t know how to address this without him getting angry, and or him just ignoring it.

If you could give me some insight I would really appreciate it.

Confused

 

Dear Confused:

While I have my suspicions, my guess would be he is seeing someone else. Ask him right out about why your lovemaking has diminished.

If he doesn’t have a great reason, then I would start looking for the tell tale signs; his phone, credit card receipts, him being on the internet more than usual,  secret phone calls, or late nights at work.

Sorry babe, this is how I see it. I HOPE I am wrong, but, more than likely I am NOT. Good luck and here’s hoping I’m wrong.

 

 

 

New Years Resolutions

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Well, it’s the new year again, time for those who make New Years Resolitions to start thinking about what you will change to make your life healthier and happier. Personally, I usually don’t make resolutions because usually I break them at 12:01AM on New Years Day.

This year, however, I have decided to make a few, JUST in case I might actually do a little changing. As unlikely as it seems, I actually MIGHT make a few changes. The following are MY resolutions:

  1. Stop Drinking—Yeah, like THAT is gonna happen. After 40 something years, I have had an off again, on again, love with alcohol. While I agree it would be beneficial for my health, I have always had a defeatist attitude towards this one. I WILL give it a try however, and if I fail, screw it, I will never make this one again.

 

  1. Get Healthy—Since I am already in tip top condition, I guess I will try to eat less. Hmmmm, maybe I will substitute WINE instead of food, oh no, wait, that goes against resolution number 1. Damn!!!

 

  1. Pick Up a Useful Skill or Hobby—I know, how about adding a six pack? I WAS talking about my Abbs, but now that I think about it, that DOES sound GOOD, (Licks lips sexily)

 

  1. Take a Trip—This year, I will plan a trip to Europe, I went last year and met the love of my life. I decided to release her because I felt she was encouraging me to continuing my alcoholism. I will look her up and see if I can get her back. If I become re-addicted to alcohol, it may be worth it to regain my forever love. Time will tell.

 

If you have made any resolutions, good for you. I wish you all the fortitude to stick with, and fulfill your goals. For all of you, may you see a successful and happy new year. Muah!!!