Today I am sad and tears roll, as I write this. Today is the anniversary of the day you took your life when I was only 8 years old. Daddy, you were my hero and my everything.
We played together, fished together, and you taught me how to love others through your works. I miss you terribly daddy, and I wonder how things would have been different if you were still here to guide me.
I remember like yesterday, you said you were going to the garage to get something, and then I heard that shot ring out. I rushed to the garage to see your body on the floor, with a river of blood all around you.
I was devastated, alone, and terrified. There was no comforting me as I ran to the neighbor’s house and evoked their help. My question is, why? You never seemed to be distraught as you left me crying in never ending tears.
I’m sure you know that mom couldn’t handle the pressure of living without you, and became an alcoholic. Thank God for aunt Carol, who fed and clothed me most of the time, and provided a stable environment.
I miss you daily daddy, and I am afraid that I too have used the wrong approach for dealing with my sadness. I am afraid that I have taken to behavior not unlike mom’s.
While I write this, I am drunk, and I ask you for your forgiveness. I have done well in the job portion of my life, daddy, well enough to live comfortably for the rest of my life.
On the other hand, my personal life sucks. I have never been able to make a lasting relationship with either men OR women. That’s right daddy, I am bisexual. I hope you would not have been disappointed.
I just want you to know that I respect and admire you. I was the classic daddy’s little girl. I love you daddy, now, and forever. I wish you were still here to guide me, but, I have been following your lead in helping the poor, and I know you would be proud.
I hope you are happy where you are daddy, and know that I pray for you daily.
All my love,
Your Little Princess