On The Road Again

airplane

The last three weeks I have been doing a LOT of travelling. I have been to France, Germany, Sweden, and Rome. Oh, I almost forgot, also California and Pittsburgh. I originally travelled to help my girlfriend Bella get ready to move into my place in a couple of months.

We decided that we were getting tired of all the boring move details; so, we decided to travel around Europe a bit. I am a HUGH fan of travelling and so is Bella. OMG, we bought so much stuff in the various countries, I am afraid that now we will have to buy a couple more suitcases to accommodate all the “trinkets” we purchased.

Bella and I are both alcoholics, love to travel, and are on the same page when it comes to our sexual appetites. This makes it easy for us to be together, she is my favorite travelling partner. I can’t wait until we are together on a full time basis.

Some of you may have wondered, what were you doing in California? I visited a couple of my professors that taught me in my Psychology classes. What a great time. In Pittsburg, I saw the Eagles concert, WOW, what a show they put on.
Each one of them is nearing, or IS in their seventies, and they STILL play and sing like they did in the seventies and eighties.

Deacon, son of recently deceased Eagle original Glenn Frey, did a great job filling the shoes of his father. Vince Gill joined the group for their North American tour and was a great addition. They played for two and a half hours, with three curtain calls which delighted all eighteen thousand spectators.

Back home now, drunk and happy.

Until later…

Dildo or Partner?

vibrator

One evening after a GREAT masturbation session, I got to thinking, which do I enjoy more, dildo or partner? Actually, I love BOTH but for different reasons. The beloved dildo is my favorite for a quickie, or for when the URGE hits me.

A partner on the other hand, I want when I need a slow hand and some kissing. This type of sex is slow and sensual, or hot and exhilarating. It also lasts a lot longer with a good partner. Man, how can one make this decision?

If you’re being honest, you’ll admit that masturbation is great, with a vibrator or a talented hand. In MY case, I probably get a lot more action from my hand or vibrator than I do from other people. Again, if I’m being honest, since I am very familiar with my OWN body, I usually get a better orgasm from the mechanical toy.

Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE sex with a partner, especially if they know what they are doing. This is one reason I absolutely go crazy for the female sex. While we all have different sensitive areas, we all know WHERE to touch, and for how long to kiss, when to lick, and when it’s time to pull the trigger.

On the other hand, however, there is nothing like a nice thick penis in my vagina while you tantalize my breasts. I have had some of the BEST orgasms of my life this way.

So, give me some feedback. Which do YOU prefer? Please let me know:
A. It will be fun
B. It will excite me

Oh come on, you can do it;
it will be our little secret. 😉
Until Later…

Just Ask Sooz

depressed woman

Dear Sooz:

My husband of 50 years has just left me. I am devastated and have no reason to live anymore. I am so depressed and don’t feel like doing anything. As far as I knew, everything was good.

Our sex life had waned recently, but, I just thought it was due to his age, he is 71. One day, I came home from shopping early and caught him with my best friend, in “my” bedroom spread eagle.

I walked out the door and went to a friend’s house for comfort. When I got home, I found a note on the kitchen table that read, “I am not happy anymore and needed a little excitement in my life. I am leaving you and am sorry for the pain I have caused.”

I was like “What the F***?” For 50 years he seemed happy and content. Not once did he talk to me about anything that I would have expected him to do this. Why would he do this ater all of this time? Excitement my ass! Any thoughts for a depressed wife?

Depressed

Dear Depressed:

First, let me say how sorry I am that this happened to you. Men also go through a state of menopause called andropause, testosterone levels significantly are reduced thus causing men to have many different feelings.

Like women, everyone acts differently. Sometimes they WANT more sex even though their testosterone levels are reduced. They become irritated, gain weight, like sports cars, and YOUNGER women.

If everything was OK, chances are he, even though this usually happens years earlier, got those weird feelings like he wanted something new. YOU had nothing to do with it from what you write.

I would suggest you try and look on the bright side, you had many more good years than most couples today. Get involved in activities, join support groups, and perhaps develop a hobby.

IF you develop feelings like you want to take your own life, call me, (I will enclose my number), or call the suicide hotline. Talk to your friends and see a specialist about your depression. There are MANY things they can do to help you ease your pain. Good luck.

Drink, Drank, Drunk

Oh liquid poison of Satin,
Why dost thou torture me so?
You condemn my spirit to thy evil taste,
And tease my taste buds with thy sweet nectar.One tantalizing taste past my lips,
Then another, and another,
Till my body becomes fiery, then limp.
You strengthen my mind, but weaken my soul.I pray the spirit of redemption, strengthens my resolve,
And makes me complete, once again.Amen…

Fourth of July Memories

Happy Fourth of July folks. Sure, today we celebrate our Independence from England, but, I’m here to talk about the actual celebration.

When I was 12, my aunt Carol took me and my friend Gina to a picnic in the park by a river.

Throughout my childhood, my aunt Carol was my surrogate mother as MY mother was drunk most of the time. So, when the fourth came around, aunt Carol called and asked what I was doing for the celebration.

I told her that mom was already passed out and that I had no plans. She said, “Yes you do, invite a friend, ‘cause we’re going to the park for a picnic dinner, and watch the fireworks over the river. With a smile on my face I said, “great, I’ll call Gina and see if she can come.”

When Gina said she could go, I changed my clothes, and walked over to her house to meet her. Aunt Carol picked us up 15 minutes later and off we went.

Parking was terrible, so she dropped us off and told us to set up a good spot. We found one and threw the blanket down to secure our spot.

A little later, aunt Carol met us with her picnic basket good enough for Yogi Bear. Fried chicken, coleslaw, potato salad, gelatin salad, candy enough to open a candy store, and of course a huge chocolate cake. I was in hog heaven.

I’ll never forget it, talking, eating, and enjoying an immense fireworks display over the water, it was magic. Even today, I remember that wonderful day and of course my amazing aunt.

I hope all of you have great memories of that day as I do. Eat too much, drink to celebrate, and watch some amazing fireworks. My best to all of you on this wonderful celebration day.

Until Later…

Drunken Poetry-The Moon

the moon

I am absolutely hammered as I write this, so hopefully, it will still be good.

I am sitting on my back porch looking at the gorgeous moon, (or MOONS in my case), and inspiration hit me, (more likely however, it’s the vodka).

Bear with me as I write this poem about the moon. If this is no good, please just disregard and move on to someone who is sober…Here goes…

The Moon

Oh vast domain of space, filled with Nature’s glory,

Be thou luminesced by thy orange-ish sphere.
Merely a circling particle of thy Mother’s domain,

Or, a miracle from the Infinite, encircling us in everlasting rotation.

One’s rays through the ages stimulates love’s bond between us mere mortals,

And, through its divine presence, brings a quiet and peaceful glow upon man’s world.

Yea, though changing form through its cycle, once, every thirty days it dazzles us with light’s brilliance.

We hold you to be in our lives, and we await the fullness of your glory.

Just Ask Sooz

 

Dear Sooz:

I am a 32 year old divorced woman with one child. My recent husband is older, he has a 16 year old son who has a problem.

The problem is, he has been hitting on me. When I’m at the pool in the backyard, he stares at me. Sometimes when I get out, he hands me a towel and asks if he could wipe me off. I have been repelling his advances chalking it up to adolescence.

I don’t want to hurt his feelings, but, I also don’t want to lead him on. Should I say something to him, or should I tell my husband and have him deal with this?

Being newly married, I don’t want to cause any problems between my husband and me. What do you suggest?

 

In a Pickle

 

Dear In a Pickle:

Definitely let your husband know what’s going on. As you say, it is probably an adolescent thing, but, it should be addressed and NOW, the sooner the better. I would let your husband take the lead on this one since it is HIS son.

16 year old males only have ONE thing on their brains…Women. Be kind, but don’t make any encouraging gestures. You should be fine, but have your husband talk with him soon to stop the teenager’s advances. Good luck…