Just Ask Sooz

depressed woman

Dear Sooz:

My husband of 50 years has just left me. I am devastated and have no reason to live anymore. I am so depressed and don’t feel like doing anything. As far as I knew, everything was good.

Our sex life had waned recently, but, I just thought it was due to his age, he is 71. One day, I came home from shopping early and caught him with my best friend, in “my” bedroom spread eagle.

I walked out the door and went to a friend’s house for comfort. When I got home, I found a note on the kitchen table that read, “I am not happy anymore and needed a little excitement in my life. I am leaving you and am sorry for the pain I have caused.”

I was like “What the F***?” For 50 years he seemed happy and content. Not once did he talk to me about anything that I would have expected him to do this. Why would he do this ater all of this time? Excitement my ass! Any thoughts for a depressed wife?

Depressed

Dear Depressed:

First, let me say how sorry I am that this happened to you. Men also go through a state of menopause called andropause, testosterone levels significantly are reduced thus causing men to have many different feelings.

Like women, everyone acts differently. Sometimes they WANT more sex even though their testosterone levels are reduced. They become irritated, gain weight, like sports cars, and YOUNGER women.

If everything was OK, chances are he, even though this usually happens years earlier, got those weird feelings like he wanted something new. YOU had nothing to do with it from what you write.

I would suggest you try and look on the bright side, you had many more good years than most couples today. Get involved in activities, join support groups, and perhaps develop a hobby.

IF you develop feelings like you want to take your own life, call me, (I will enclose my number), or call the suicide hotline. Talk to your friends and see a specialist about your depression. There are MANY things they can do to help you ease your pain. Good luck.

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