Masturbation Monday

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For those of you who like to masturbate-GOOD. I myself do it between 4-6 times a day. For years, people bought into the fact that masturbation could make you go blind, ‘cause pimples, make you crazy, or go stupid.

All of those things of course are totally inaccurate. The old joke was: If masturbation makes you blind, then can I do it just until I need glasses? The truth is, you can masturbate any time, and as often as you want. Although, I probably wouldn’t do it while in a meeting, as it may be a distraction to the others who will immediately ALSO want to start masturbating.

If you are a “normal Human being”, odds are pretty good that at one time or another you have masturbated. The saying goes…80 percent of people have masturbated, and the OTHER 20% are LYING!!!

I masturbate because: 1. NEED to, and 2. because it feels great. Just think, no STD’s no pregnancies, and no one asking you afterwards, “Was it good for you”?

So, go ahead, take your sex life into “Your OWN hands today”, relax and have a great time. I just did it before I wrote this article and I am still reelin’ in the feelin’.

Until Later…

 

 

 

Ode to the Tongue

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Tingling, Tasting, Tantalizing,

Swirling, Salty, Salacious,

Sexy, Sensual, and Luscious,

What more could we ask for?

 

Place your tongue gently on mine,

And swirl it around my mouth.

Taste my sweet juices on both my lips.

 

Delight in the flavor,

And tantalize me,

Now, and forever more.

Mmmmmmmmmmm!!!

Ode to a Daisy

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Oh beautiful flowering seed,

Rising above the Earth so proud,

Strong in stature, yet delicate in appearance,

Protruding into sky’s light, enhancing Nature’s beauty.

 

Petals soft but colorful, and thy center of gold,

Displaying strength and beauty,

Enriching all who observe thy godliness,

And pleasing to all who witness thy grace.

 

Grow on little flower,

So that all can see the glory of thy magnificence.

 

 

 

 

Woman in Heat

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Steamy hot, overloaded lust explodes throughout my body, drunk from today’s elixir of love, the clit is lit, and ready for some passion. How else can I say it, I am a woman in heat, and I need the gentle feel of my garden to release the rain.

Slowly I unbutton my blouse to expose the first stage of relief. My breasts heave as I feel the under cuff of my lust. I ache for my nipples to be squeezed, just right as they tingle with anticipation, and stir my garden’s juices.

My inner thighs need attention as I feel them with a soft easy touch. Stronger and stronger grows my desire and I am wet, VERY WET, and ready to enter the danger zone of lust.

My finger enters, and uplifts some wetness for my breasts. Spreading it on my tits make me go to another dimension as I smell, and feel the soft gooiness spread all around.

I am lost in lust now as I grab my cock dildo and slide it into my pleasure zone. I take my two fingers and slide it over my clit. Ummmmmm. Owwww. Now it’s time for the piece de resistance.

While the dildo is inside, I reach behind me and place my pinky finger in my anus. OMG!!! Almost as soon as it is in, I climax, and SQUIRT, over and over, feeling the contractions against my pinky. I am Nirvana…

When the pleasure is over, I pull out my toy, and my finger, and just wait in a state of Nirvana until I pass out. WOW!!!

 

 

 

Sooz’s Diary

Dear Diary:

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The last time I checked, I was a happy 40ish something person. I love life, like to party, and well, be the party girl type I guess. Sure, I have faults just like anyone else, but, I also love people…Literally AND figuratively.

Sometimes this gets me into trouble. Let’s take the other night for example, I went to a club, got a little tipsy, (OK, I was blasted), and hooked up with this real cute Doctor.

I went back to his place where he offered me more booze, naturally, in my condition, I said yes and wound up the next day with my clothes off, and some semen swimming around in my privates.

Did he wear a condom…DUH!!! What the hell is wrong with me? This damn oversexed twat of mine just CAINT say no. I googled said “DOCTOR” and it turns out that my Dr. Friend is really a Limo driver. UGH!!! When will I EVER LEARN???

So, I sobered up, called my driver and went home. This is my dark side. I can be very nice, help the poor, donate my sober time, and even sponsor charities, however, I still love to **** too much and I must say, after I’ve been drinking, I am NOT very responsible.

Some of you may say, “You’re going to get a disease”, and of course you would be right. You name it, and I have had it at one time or another. Recently, I have just been lucky.

So, what do I do, wear a chastity belt, stay away from the Human population, sew my twat shut…What?  For one, I realize the drinking accelerates my sexual drive. I have to learn how to control it, thus control the sex cravings. HOW is the BETTER question.

Yes, I know, AA, therapy, etc. All of these I have tried and to no avail. UGH! I’m afraid I am just in for a life full of lucky chances and night after blues. Maybe in my NEXT life…

Until Later…

 

 

Sooz Plays the Mother????

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How many people  see  me as the “mother type”? Well, I must admit if I am being honest, I never saw myself as the type, until a good friend of mine asked me to babysit her one year old baby girl.

When she asked, immediately two thoughts came to mind:

  • One…Why me???
  • I will need to be SOBER to do this gig, right?

I must admit, I DO love kids, I just never saw myself taking care of any. I mean I am a pretty regimented gal, you know, up at 6.00, drunk as a skunk by noon, nap until 4:00, and then repeat.

So taking a baby under wing for a few hours did cause me a bit of concern. In the end however, I decided that I could do it, and REALLY, how hard could it be to take care of a one year old anyway?

When my girlfriend dropped her off, I was like, is she moving IN or what? She brought diapers,(NOT PAMPERS), cloth…I didn’t even know they still MADE these anymore. Along with her came a carrying bag filled with every goodie made by man.

She had diaper wipes, ass creams, spit up rags, (WHAT???)  bottles, formula, (What, was this kid going to do, calculus or something?), cute little teething rings of teddy bears and flowers, a nightgown, some kind of white dusting powder that looked like Coke, I think, (eyes looking up to God), and a LIST of what to do in case of an emergency.

NOW, I was scared. I never changed a REAL diaper, let alone been responsible for a child’s nutrition. I kept thinking, couldn’t I be just a “LITTLE DRUNK”…Oui!!! No, I just smiled and said everything would be fine (Lying through my teeth).

I took position of the little creature and before my friend left I asked…”What time will you be home”? She said, “late”, and closed the door. Now I was panicked. What should I do first?

I grabbed the cheat, cheat list and it said FEED HER. I was lucky and was able to get some milk down the kid. Next it said BURP HER??? WHAT??? I looked at Molly as I kept saying “burp kid”, come on, you can do it. With enough pleading and praying, she finally let out a big BUUUUUUUURRRRRP.

Phew, I thought as I stood there proud of myself for making a kid burp. Hey, maybe I had just discovered a new career. Molly was fine for about an hour when I started to smell this rank smell. Praying that it wouldn’t be “The Diaper Change”, I slowly lifted her up to my nose. Yes I did…I puked all over God and Country . Molly needed a change. After I cleaned up me, and the carpet, I gave Molly ago. How hard could this be right? After twenty minutes of scattering poop all over, I finally called a friend of mine who walked me through it on Skype. I needed a drink, or ten.

I got Molly to bed, I sat down, and took a deep breath…I had MADE it!!! Ten minutes later, there was a knock at the door and my friend returned. THANK YOU JESUS!!!

After she left, I opened the biggest bottle of vodka you can think of, and drank myself to sleep hoping I would never remember this experience again.

Until Later…