Just Ask Sooz

Jaroslav Čermák (1831 - 1878) - Sv. Mikuláš.jpg

Dear Sooz:

My daughter is 5 and she has just asked me if there is a real Santa Claus. Of course I said yes, but, I would like to give her an answer that would satisfy her. Her friends at school say that there isn’t any such thing as Santa Claus. Please help me.

Frustrated Mom

 

Dear frustrated Mom:

Tell your daughter that Santa Claus does exist. He is formed from the LOVE that exists because of the Saint, Nicholas. Nicholas was a very kind man living over 2000 years ago near Turkey.

Often, he would leave food for the poor, and buy small gifts for the poor family’s children. He would do this in secret so that the recipients would not know who left them.

He did so love the children that he would go and sit in the square while little children would come up to him with their parents. He would talk to them asking if they had been good, and then he would speak with them about the true meaning of Christmas.

It was during these times he would ask the children, if they could have what they wanted, what would it be? Being from a wealthy family, Nicholas would purchase the gifts, then find out where they lived. He would deliver the gifts that the children wanted, along with a large Xmas turkey for their family.

Of course all of his gift and food donations were held to the utmost secrecy. It is from him where Santa Claus (Sinterklaas) was born. After his death, the townspeople carried on his tradition of secret gift giving which carried on through the ages.

To prove it further, millions of pieces of mail are sent to post offices yearly from all over the globe addressed to Santa Clause, c/o The North Pole. So yes, my dear there IS a Santa Claus.

Merry Christmas…

 

 

 

Forgiveness

Image result for drunk and alone

I sit before you broken and drunk,

A pain within my soul cries out into the night,

Have I nothing of value left?

Hear my cry; all I ask of you is forgiveness.

 

Touch my soul, offer me recompense,

And guide me along the path of righteousness.

For this is what I seek,

The journey of drunkenness no longer sustains me.

 

Strengthen my resolve; Guide me within your light,

And let me follow the path towards everlasting light.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” and Critics

Image result for rudolph the red nosed reindeer

Here I am watching my favorite animated Xmas show, and my phone rings. I answer it and it I a girlfriend of mine. She says “Hi Sooz, what are you doing?” I tell her I am watching Rudolph and she says,” You know, that show has been criticized up and down by the critics.”

“What”, I say, bewildered, “That’s one of my favorite Xmas shows, how in the Hell could ANYTHING be wrong with THAT movie?” She says, “Well, it’s being criticized for bullying and for demeaning the character of Rudolph.”

“You know, when Santa visits the Donners, and Rudolph’s nose starts to glow, Santa says, I hope it disappears  because otherwise he won’t be able to be on the sleigh team.”

“Also, when he is trying out for the sleigh team, after he covers his nose, his cover comes off, his nose shines, and everybody deserts him and won’t let him play any reindeer games.”

Herbie on the other hand is shown as a gay elf and is ostracized because he wants to become a dentist instead of following the long tradition of elf toy making, oh, and yes his voice is also not macho but somewhat feminine.

Now, I don’t know about you, but, I always thought that both Rudolph AND Herbie overcame these Things once they defeated the abominable snow monster. When the storm outside the North Pole was too severe to even go OUT for Xmas Eve and deliver toys, who was the one that Santa had to ask to LEAD his sleigh? That’s right, Rudolph, so Owwwwwwww… In the end, Herbie fixes the Elves and everyones teeth, and everyone loves him, as they do Rudolph. So why criticize the whole F**&ing story? Everything worked out in the end so LAY OFF my story, critics.

Thank you.

Until Later…

A New Friend and Drunken Lover

Image result for 2 Drunk women kissing

Today as usual, I woke up with a huge hangover. What I normally do is to just take a drink from the hair of the dog and continue on from there. Today, however, I needed to go out. I took another drink, called my driver and had him drop me at the local neighborhood bar.

Normally, I don’t do this for two reasons:

  1. I don’t like everybody knowing that I’m an alcoholic
  2. At 9:00 AM I am not that sociable

I took my seat at the end of the bar, ordered a vodka martini, and started to watch TV. I noticed there was a pretty blond woman who looked to be in her mid-30’s sitting two stools down from mine, and she too was ordering martinis.

I moved over by her, ordered her a drink and we exchanged names. Her name was Dot, she said as we pretty much downed our drinks. I asked her what such a pretty young woman was doing in a bar at 9:00 AM and she said, “I could ask YOU the same question.”

We hit it off right away as she started telling me her story as to WHY she was sitting on a bar stool so early. She told me she was married once when young no kids, and that her husband, the love of her life cheated on her.

They divorced, and she took to alcohol as a stress reliever. She had started slow, and then started drinking earlier and earlier to numb the pain. Today, she said in a slightly slurred voice, she was a full blown alcoholic just like me.

About the 4th. Martini down, she looked at me with drunken eyelids, moved closer to me and placed her hand down inside the back of my jeans.

I was already half in the bag at this time, so I bought her a double martini and I too order one, and on went our conversation. She said she is usually here every morning drowning her sorrows.

Now, three sheets to the wind, I asked her if she ever thought about taking a woman as a sex partner, now drunk, she said yes. Two martini’s later, we were both wasted. I had the bartender call my driver and I asked Dot if she would like to go home with me.

Putting her arm around my shoulder, she leaned in and kissed me. I took that as a yes. My driver helped us both in my front door, and we immediately staggered to the bedroom. Off came her clothes, as did mine, and what a beautiful body she had.

Firm, round, yet perky tits, legs that wouldn’t quit, and a kiss that was wet and tasted like gin. I felt her pussy and it was dripping wet, just like mine. She put two fingers into my nether region which made me quiver and get wetter still.

I love a woman’s tits, so I caressed them and sucked them plentiful. She moaned and shouted out drunkenly, FUCK ME SOOZ!!! Kissing her all the way down her gorgeous body, I stopped at her mound. Slowly, I licked around the outside of her clit as she begged me to “finish her off”.

I put, my finger in her wet ass while I licked her to one of the best orgasms I have ever seen. She squirted as she came, and I got a mouthful.

Then, once relaxed, she came down to MY HOTSPOT, and liked me until I came so hard I squirted too.

We both fell into a drunken sleep. In the morning, I made 4 pitchers of martinis, two with gin, and two with vodka. I asked her if she would like to stay with me for a while and become my drinking buddy “with benefits”. “Yes,” she said, and we continued to drink until once again, until we were both loaded.

You can guess what happened next, YUP… and she is STILL here. Ahhhhh, ya gotta love the Xmas holidays.

Muah!!!

Until Later…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Drunken Chatter

Hi everyone, my name is Sooz and I am wasted. It’s OK though, it IS Saturday night and I am in a partying mood. So, if you see any mistakes in this, and you probably will, it’s NOT because I can’t write properly, it’s because I’m writing while drunk.

I was on here anyway, just checking out the “articles”, and so I thought I would come on and just say hi out there to all my friends. So…Hi!!! The picture above isn’t me, but, I AM drinking a bottle of Jack, and I WAS just dancing a few minutes ago.

No, not at a club, at my house, all by myself, now dressed in this.

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What do you think? Do you like it? Of course NOW I am all hot and bothered and about ready to call my neighbor over for some late night entertainment, if ya know what I mean.

I just called him, and he said,”Sooz, are you drunk again”? I replied, “YUP, so are ya cummin…?” Hehehehehehehehe. He’s coming over now so I better have a drink and a pee and I will talk to all of you later. Kisses to all!!!!!

MUAH!!!