If I Were a Monkey

Cute Monkey Cartoon Royalty Free Cliparts, Vectors, And Stock ...

If I were a monkey I’d live in the zoo, or perhaps as a pet, I could live with you.

I would jump, I could hop, I would climb and I’d swing, like you, I can do about any old thing.

Emotions are something ingrained in my head, I can be happy or sad and a temper it’s said.

Like Humans I eat foods like bananas and stuff, steak and sweet foods, but my favorite is Fluff.

If I were a monkey I could jump on your head, again as a pet I could sleep in your bed.

I could play on your swing set, your bars and your slide, even riding a bike brings a great sense of pride.

I love to be read to and cuddled in your arms, and I know that I’m safe from the world and its harms.

Yes If I were a monkey I’d be cute and would smile, and I would hope and I’d pray you would keep me awhile.

Until Later…

International Nose Picking Day

Woman picking nose | Custom-Designed Illustrations ~ Creative Market

I realize this may seem disgusting, but, if it wasn’t done often AND all over the world, there would be no such day to celebrate. So, take advantage of this mega opportunity and get disgusting.

Hey, don’t look at me and shake your heads saying…”Sooz must be drunk”. OK, I AM but that’s not the point, it really IS International Nose Picking Day. That means for those of you who may not understand, place your finger or fingers in your nose and start PICKING it!!!

As an added bonus folks, it is ALSO German Beer drinking Day, hey, I can’t MAKE this stuff up!!! Drinking lots of German Beer may help you get involved with the nose picking theme. I am personally doing my part by drinking Budweiser (A German beer), and taking shots of Jack Daniels.

The secret to a good nose pick is to do it stealthily.  You can be in the busiest place in the world, take your finger SLOWLY to your nose and give it a good pick. If you did it correctly, no one will chastise you OR even KNOW that you have done it.

I don’t know about YOU but when I pick, I go in for seconds and sometimes thirds. Luckily, I have mastered this stealth behavior and could do it right in front of you without you suspecting a thing. It’s too bad they don’t have contests for the BEST nose picker on the planet. I would definitely be in the top three.

Anyway, I hope you have some good German beer and if the mood hits ya, go ahead and pick, I know I’M going too. Stay safe out there, wash your hands, wear a mask, and make sure that you social distance with each other. Love to all…

Until Later…

Masks and Their Idiosyncrasies

Protection against contagious disease, coronavirus. Beautiful ...

With the outbreak of this Pandemic virus, everyone and their brother (literally) are donning masks to cover up helping to stop the deadly spread of the disease. While I am a stay at home person, I still travel out to do some necessary chores.

When I am out and about, I too wear a protective mask. While roaming around one bright sunny day, I noticed several other folks like myself all donned in masks. Some are colorful, some are surgical in nature, and some are even the N95 that the government recommends.

I have even seen HOMEMADE masks, and of course bandanna masks of different colors with pictures on them. Here is my problem, now I am NOT a Dr. but, HOW effective really are all these different kinds of masks?

I always thought that it was social distancing that counted. No one wants to have anyone cough or sneeze on them, but how effective are these masks if someone near you let’s go with a hurricane force sneeze, or, if they are coughing so hard their eyes bug out?

The other thing is the different styles of masks. I mean so many people are wearing surgical masks, I feel like at any time I might be called upon to remove someone’s appendix or something.

On the other side of the coin, what if I’m in a bank with several other folks wearing the cowboy/girl bandanas? Do I slink up to the teller to make my transaction, or immediately put my hands in the air thinking it could be a robbery? These are things to THINK about Ehhhhh???

What are your thoughts on this whole mask thing? Is it a good thing or should we just stick at home, drink, and be safe? I vote for the later as I have a very boring surgical mask. Hey. It is what it is, right? Stay safe everyone…Muah!!!

Until Later…

 

 

Does Being a Drunk Make me a Bad Person

 

 

drunk-redhead-girl

Dear Diary:

Sometimes after I wake up with a huge hangover, I wonder why I drink. The answer is really unclear. I have been an alcoholic since I have been in my 20’s, and I wonder if this makes me a bad person.

At times, I feel like it does, and then other times I feel like it doesn’t. I guess the presumption is IF I even have these feelings, then maybe I AM a bad person. Like anyone, I have done things that I am not proud of doing. Usually, I have been under the influence when I did them. OK, I was drunk.

Funny enough, my therapist says that I THINK too much and that I shouldn’t worry about such things. She reminds me that I do donate my time and money to others, so, I should feel good about myself. She DOES however tell me that I am young and should STOP drinking.

While I realize that she is right, I just don’t WANT to. Dot and I have the best time getting drunk together. Anyway, I am straying from the point, am I a bad person because I am a drunk?

I think what I will do is have a few more Vodka and Cranberry’s and ponder this a bit further. Perhaps being drunk will help add perspective to my quandary. Please feel free to jump in and offer your opinion if you have one. I would love to hear someone else’s thoughts concerning my dilemma. Stay safe and wash your hands till they bleed.

Until Later

 

 

 

 

 

 

                       

 

 

 

 

 

 

To All With Cabin Fever

drunk red head

First, let’s define cabin fever. Cabin fever is listlessness, irritability, and similar symptoms resulting from long periods of isolation or being confined to an indoor area for long periods of time. Does this sound familiar?

If you, like others around the globe are experiencing this phenomenon, permit me to give you some suggestions on how to cope with this pressing situation. Please Note: These are ONLY suggestions and NOT CDC approved.

  • Play games either with your family or on the internet with other “normal” folks.

 

  • Start drinking if you need a little pick me up, pretty soon ALL your troubles disappear. Caveat here: This may also erase your day to day memory.

 

  • Read a good book-preferably an erotic story which will excite you.

 

  • Take care of these erotic needs as often as you need. This will relax you.
  • Work you ass off around your home doing spring cleaning. This is MUCH easier in conjunction with point #2.
  • Dance around your home naked. This is a fun way to uplift your spirits AND will entice you to become erotic.

 

Hopefully, you’ll feel MUCH better and have a good time while we are imprisoned within our homes. I am with you all, and I sincerely hope as you do that this virus will be eradicated.

Until Later…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

   

 

 

 

 

Thank You to All Our Dedicated Angels

        deepika-padukone-beautiful-women-of-2015                                                                                                                        

 April 13th, 2020

 

 To All Hospital Employees:

In this difficult time of the COVID-19 virus,  I wish to personally THANK each and every one of you who are putting yourselves into harm’s way to keep others safe.

It is a difficult, unselfish, and courageous job you are doing, and I want  to  THANK  EACH of YOU,  from the bottom of my heart. I am deeply appreciative. I sincerely hope you receive the protective equipment you require to carry out your essential tasks, and I pray that NONE of you acquire this deadly killer while carrying out such a dedicated service.

I’m sure that our nation, as well as the world, prays that this virus is as short- lived as possible, and that we will soon be back to where we all were before this deadly killer attacked. Please note that ALL of you are highly respected for going above and beyond to keep us safe.  For THIS, you have my deepest gratitude.

God Bless You All