Sooz Plays the Mother????

Image result for young mother and baby

How many people  see  me as the “mother type”? Well, I must admit if I am being honest, I never saw myself as the type, until a good friend of mine asked me to babysit her one year old baby girl.

When she asked, immediately two thoughts came to mind:

  • One…Why me???
  • I will need to be SOBER to do this gig, right?

I must admit, I DO love kids, I just never saw myself taking care of any. I mean I am a pretty regimented gal, you know, up at 6.00, drunk as a skunk by noon, nap until 4:00, and then repeat.

So taking a baby under wing for a few hours did cause me a bit of concern. In the end however, I decided that I could do it, and REALLY, how hard could it be to take care of a one year old anyway?

When my girlfriend dropped her off, I was like, is she moving IN or what? She brought diapers,(NOT PAMPERS), cloth…I didn’t even know they still MADE these anymore. Along with her came a carrying bag filled with every goodie made by man.

She had diaper wipes, ass creams, spit up rags, (WHAT???)  bottles, formula, (What, was this kid going to do, calculus or something?), cute little teething rings of teddy bears and flowers, a nightgown, some kind of white dusting powder that looked like Coke, I think, (eyes looking up to God), and a LIST of what to do in case of an emergency.

NOW, I was scared. I never changed a REAL diaper, let alone been responsible for a child’s nutrition. I kept thinking, couldn’t I be just a “LITTLE DRUNK”…Oui!!! No, I just smiled and said everything would be fine (Lying through my teeth).

I took position of the little creature and before my friend left I asked…”What time will you be home”? She said, “late”, and closed the door. Now I was panicked. What should I do first?

I grabbed the cheat, cheat list and it said FEED HER. I was lucky and was able to get some milk down the kid. Next it said BURP HER??? WHAT??? I looked at Molly as I kept saying “burp kid”, come on, you can do it. With enough pleading and praying, she finally let out a big BUUUUUUUURRRRRP.

Phew, I thought as I stood there proud of myself for making a kid burp. Hey, maybe I had just discovered a new career. Molly was fine for about an hour when I started to smell this rank smell. Praying that it wouldn’t be “The Diaper Change”, I slowly lifted her up to my nose. Yes I did…I puked all over God and Country . Molly needed a change. After I cleaned up me, and the carpet, I gave Molly ago. How hard could this be right? After twenty minutes of scattering poop all over, I finally called a friend of mine who walked me through it on Skype. I needed a drink, or ten.

I got Molly to bed, I sat down, and took a deep breath…I had MADE it!!! Ten minutes later, there was a knock at the door and my friend returned. THANK YOU JESUS!!!

After she left, I opened the biggest bottle of vodka you can think of, and drank myself to sleep hoping I would never remember this experience again.

Until Later…

 

 

Just Ask Sooz

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Dear Sooz

When I married my husband, he had a 13 year old daughter. Now, in his eyes, the world starts and ends with her, in “my eyes”, she is a pain in the ass. She is messy, doesn’t listen to me, and “never” wants to help out with the chores.

When I try and correct her, my husband defends her and practically jumps down my throat. I am getting very tired of her behavior Sooz, I have spoken to my husband about it but, he just doesn’t want to get involved.

Should I put my foot down, or, right up her ass? This is really getting to me.

Fed up Wife

 

Dear Fed up Wife:

OK, here is what I would do. I would take his daughter alone somewhere, maybe shopping, and discuss with HER what really bothers you. Tell her you don’t like being a bitch, and that you would LIKE to get along with her.

Ask her, could she please keep her room relatively clean and when you need help, would she please give it to you. Hopefully, the nice approach will work, if not, tell your husband that you are fed up and that things need to change.

The very LAST thing I would do is contact her mother and ask her if she can get involved to help you. I don’t know, I am not a child psychologist, but I would try these things first before bringing in an outside source. Good Luck…

                                                  

 

Just Ask Sooz

Dear Sooz:

I realize that Sunday is Father’s Day and I wanted to give a wonderful salute to all of those men who were good fathers. Believe me, not everyone was as lucky as you were.

I would have given my left kidney for a father who was kind, and compassionate. My father was a drunk. When he was drinking, he would become angry and violent. Many nights, while in bed, I would hear him drunkenly fight with, and strike my mother.

Then, the crying began with doors slamming and angry slurs filling the night. Many nights I prayed that he would leave and never come back.

When I was 10, my mom left him and took me to a shelter with her. The old man found us there, dragged my mom and I to the car, where he then proceeded to beat her senseless.

So you see Sooz, not everyone had the idyllic father daughter relationship. I was older when I finally trusted men enough to start dating. Those painful memories still haunt my dreams, and at times, cause me to have panic attacks.

So, to those men who were good fathers, and did the right things by their families, I salute you, and hope to Hell that no one has to be brought up in the family life that I endured for those many years.

I don’t really expect a reply, I just wanted to thank the fathers out there for the encouragement they have given to their children. Well Done.

Abused Child

 

Dear Abused Child:

You are so right, there are many children out there who have endured the same type of family life that you lived with. I am sorry for your pain, and I sincerely hope that living through such pain has made you a stronger, and more loving parent. God Bless You.

 

 

Just Ask Sooz

Dear Sooz:

I have a question I would like you to answer. I have several grandchildren. When they come to visit me, besides playing games and making them breakfast, I also ask them to share in the responsibilities of cleaning up their own messes.

For example, after they eat, I ask them to take their plates to the sink and throw away their napkins in the trash. I don’t think this is such a big deal, but my daughter in law does.

She feels when I have them, they should be treated like royalty and do no work. Sooz, I have always taught my kids to be responsible even as children and believe that it is good for children to be taught responsibility. Am I wrong?

After all, if they did nothing, they would feel as if they had a sense of entitlement. I feel that I am doing the right thing, what do you think?

Frustrated Grandmother

 

Dear Frustrated Grandmother:

Personally, I couldn’t agree with you more. Children need rules, regulations, and need to be taught responsibility. As you say, without these, they can develop a sense of entitlement.

Again, I believe you are doing nothing wrong and hope that you will NOT be influenced by your daughter in law. Keep up the good work grandma—Kudos!!!