Is it ME, or does it seems like Xmas comes earlier and earlier? I was in the store the other day, and all of the Xmas stuff was already out. This was BEFORE Thanksgiving mind you…WHAT???
All the holiday signs and lights were raised, Xmas trees towering high in the sky, filled with multi-colored lights that practically blind you as you drive by. Did I MISS something? Isn’t Xmas still celebrated on December 25th?
I mean REALLY!!! At THIS rate, I will have to start sending out my Xmas cards NOW…I am just not ready for an EARLY Xmas this year, are YOU? Hell, I haven’t even written my Xmas list to Santa yet, Jeez!!!
Of course, being the magical elf that he is, I’m sure he already KNOWS what I want, 10 cases of Grey Goose Vodka and oh yeah, a real pretty Xmas elf for me to play with too.
Anyway, I digress; I was talking about the stores unbelievable startup of the Season. Already the JOYOUS times of the Season are being observed, people bitching about parking spots, pissed off that the items they want are already sold out and won’t be restocked until AFTER Christmas, and ALL of that good Holiday cheer. Ya gotta LOVE it.
Nothing says Xmas like the days PRECEDING it, right? How about THIS year we take it all in stride and do what I do, if things aren’t going right, just take two or three DEEP breaths, and a HUGE glass of Vodka, or your favorite calmer downer.
Now, that may not FIX what’s wrong, but, it will go a long way on improving your mood. Trust me, I KNOW these things. In fact, while putting up my tree this year, I discovered my lights were screwed up. Did I get all upset and tear down that F**KING tree, NO, I just poured myself a stiff one, and masturbated myself until I was drunk and calm.
This is good advice folks…OK, time for my drunken nap.