“Mary Did You Know”

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This song in my opinion, is the perfect Christmas song. Just think about the words as the imaginary being speaks to the Mother of God, asking her questions. How beautiful are these lyrics, AND the meaning behind them. This is MY favorite Christmas song and I hope it is one of yours. Pentatonix does a great version of this on YouTube.

May you and yours be filled with the love during this Holiday Season, and may it resonate with you forever. God Bless and Keep you ALL, no matter WHAT faith you may be.

Mary, did you know
that your Baby Boy would one day walk on water?
Mary, did you know
that your Baby Boy would save our sons and daughters?
Did you know
that your Baby Boy has come to make you new?
This Child that you delivered will soon deliver you.

Mary, did you know
that your Baby Boy will give sight to a blind man?
Mary, did you know
that your Baby Boy will calm the storm with His hand?
Did you know
that your Baby Boy has walked where angels trod?
When you kiss your little Baby you kissed the face of God?

Mary did you know.. Ooo Ooo Ooo

The blind will see.
The deaf will hear.
The dead will live again.
The lame will leap.
The dumb will speak
The praises of The Lamb.

Mary, did you know
that your Baby Boy is Lord of all creation?
Mary, did you know
that your Baby Boy would one day rule the nations?
Did you know
that your Baby Boy is heaven’s perfect Lamb?
The sleeping Child you’re holding is the great “I am”

 

Santa or Krampus…Hmmmmm.

The song Santa Claus is Coming to Town is a warning to all the kids out there to be good, OTHERWISE, instead of St Nick coming to town, it might just be Krampus instead.

Krampus is the DEMON Santa Clause who comes to bad children’s homes and can do mean and awful things: like kidnap them, and take them to Hell, beat them with Birch branches or whips, but usually, instead of presents, the children might only receive a lump of coal.

I know there were plenty of years that I would look outside my bedroom window just waiting to see who would come, Santa, or Krampus, as my mother would tell me the horrible things that this monster was capable of.

Usually, she would laugh afterwards and then return to her evening drunk. Ahhh, life in MY house. It wasn’t until I was about 9 before I no longer kept a watchful eye out. I kept wondering why Krampus never took away evil PARENTS, why just the kids?

Thankfully, I realize today that Krampus was not real and that my mother was just trying to scare the Be-Jesus out of me, it WORKED. To this day, I still  CAN’T watch the Grinch because it reminds me of Krampus.

Kids…Just be good and you will NEVER have to worry about Krampus . Sure, you might STILL get coal as a gift, BUT, hopefully, it will be compressed into a beautiful diamond shape with a proposal following.

Until Later…

 

                            

 

 

Christmas Gifts for Me

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Ho Ho Ho everyone, Merry Christmas. In case some of you were wondering what I want for Christmas this year, I thought I would get ahead of the game and give you some ideas.

First off. let me give you two words- Victoria Secret, I just Love ANYTHING sexy so… Go for broke folks, Please me, AND  I’ll Please you. I especially like very frilly under garments, so knock yourselves out. Red, by the way is my FAVORITE color.

Long walks by the seashore are always a great gift, followed by a nice late dinner. Surf and Turf is my favorite meal,  just a little heads up. Expensive you say, well, yes but I am absolutely WORTH it.

I also love trips, any trips really as long as they are in romantic destinations like Paris or perhaps Rome. I have always been partial to Paris and the Parisian way of life with romance in the air everywhere.

Surprise me and take me on a tour somewhere I’ve never been before, like Liver Pool England. I have always been a fan of The Beatles and I would love to visit their  old hangouts. If you DO, I will assure you that I will bring my frilly underwear. At the end of the meal, dessert is on ME.

Just a few ideas boys and girls…Get to shoppin’.

Until Later…

 

 

 

 

 

 

Christmas Time Madness

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Ah the madness has started, the house decorating with thousands of lights, the anguish over who, if anyone, will be coming to YOUR house to examine those thousands of lights, and of course the good old Holiday cheer as we push and shove our way around the malls.

What a joyous time as children sit on Santa’s lap, sometimes leaving a present of their OWN, on his nice red suit. The wonderful lines we wait in, sometimes extending halfway around the moon, and of course the Christmas goodies that help expand our waistlines by at least 2 inches.

Yup, the joys of Christmas are upon us. Streets are loaded with people pretending to be filled with the Season; as they pass each person they meet, Merry Christmas is on their lips while there is a FUCK YOU hidden below.

We all go out and buy things we CAN’T afford, and then, when January’s bills come around, we ALL go rushing into Bankruptcy Court to help relieve our wallets.

Merry Christmas and to all…..A BAH Humbug to all the rest.

Merry Christmas Everyone…

 

Once Again, it’s Time for WACKY Xmas Gifts

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Christmas is a time of giving, so what better way to give your significant other something he/she will use every day. Of course, I’m talking about the Nose Shower Dispenser along with shower gel.

Nose Shower Gel Dispenser

 THAT’S right, just squeeze the nose and out pops some shower gel to help get you clean. What a great gift idea, and ONLY 18.99. Supplies ARE limited so hurry. 

Or, how about stocking stuffers, every year we rush around trying to figure out what to put in hose cozy stocking hung on the mantle, NOT any more? No more candy and gum, NOW you can have unique gifts like:

  • A Bacon AIR Freshener
  • X rated Penis Stocking to keep his baby warm at night while you have a headache
  • Poo Splat Balls
  • Donald Trump Toilet paper
  • Reindeer farting Butt ornament

Or perhaps, you would just like your usual Pickle Flask, A great gift for ANY Alcoholic, I know I want one.

OH!WOW A Pretty Pickle Flask

Now for the lady of the house:

  • How about a nice Laughing Hilary pen? Donald doesn’t laugh so they don’t MAKE those.
  • Inside the MIND of Obama book (This is on sale for only 1.00 Dollar because the book has only 4 lines printed)
  • Or, how about a nice Bikini scarf– only 15.00 Bucks          
  •                                                

My favorite, Ugly Christmas Sweaters—I like Santa on the toilet.

Ugly Christmas Sweater: Toilet Santa, 1st Edition

How about something for everyone- his AND her underwear. Saves on washing chores and bring two people closer together for good old fashioned Christmas fun.

Christmas Fundies

Or, how about that ugly Christmas sweater for two?

Two Person Ugly Christmas Sweater: Naughty & Nice Santa

We have something for everyone so don’t despair, give me a call today and I’ll hook you up, OR, hook up WITH you…

😉

 

Until Later

 

 

Christmas Memories

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I don’t know what it is about Xmas time; it always seems to make me a little sentimental. Maybe it’s the love in the air, or watching the children’s eyes light up as they sit on the Mall Santa, or perhaps just the music that rings in the spirit of Christmas no matter where you go.

I was sitting in the Mall, enjoying a cup of coffee when a bye-gone memory struck me. About 20 years ago, when I was just starting out, I lived in New York for a while. I had just moved to the city with a friend of mine, who wanted to be an actress, and being broke, we picked the cheapest apartment we could find to rent.

Our eyes were big, and our hearts filled with wonder as we searched out our destinies. I remember it like yesterday, we had moved there in November, and being from a warmer climate, snow was something we only had on TV.

I remember how enamored we were with a beautiful white blanket, covering our part of the Earth with all its splendor. Just taking walks through Central Park, the lights in all the store windows, and of course the wonderful Christmas music everywhere, lightening our spirits, and making us glad that for a while, New York had adopted  us.

Christmas Eve, we gathered in our little apartment, and gathered like church mice. A Charlie Brown Xmas tree filled our 300 ft. space, with popcorn strung generously around our tree, and a string of lights we bought from the Dollar Store.

Egg Nog and pretzels were our dinner of choice back then, and Love was on the dessert menu. My friend did a few commercials, met a great guy, and settled down. Me, well, I worked in the Big Apple for a while, cutting my teeth in the Ad business, and then returned home once again.

I never will forget that great Christmas in New York though, especially the snow. Somehow, I really miss that around this time of the year. Oh well, maybe next year.

 

 

 

 

 

Once Upon a Christmas Eve

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Once upon a Christmas Eve, an Angel came to me.

Rise up, rejoice, fill your heart with love, and a miracle you’ll see.

I rose from my bed,  and through the window I peered, and saw nothing but the stars.

No miracle I saw, no nothing at all, was the Angel talking about Mars?

 

I looked, and I looked,  my eyes had become glued, yet blackness did fill the night.

And THEN, in the distance, I SAW it I did, there was a bright and shining LIGHT.

My heart filled with love, and in the distance a Dove, appeared shining, bright in the sky.

A miracle DID come, so that Sins would be undone, and Mankind lives in Peace, bye and bye.

 

Once upon a Christmas Eve…

 

Yes, Virginia, There IS a Santa Clause

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This true story of Virginia O’Hanlon has always touched MY heart, and I hope it does YOURS also. This was a letter written to the New York’s Sun Newspaper after her father, advised Virginia to write this regarding her Question “Was Santa Clause real”.

DEAR EDITOR:

 I am 8 years old.
Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus.
Papa says, ‘If you see it in THE SUN it’s so.’
Please tell me the truth; is there a Santa Claus?

VIRGINIA O’HANLON.
115 WEST NINETY-FIFTH STREET.

VIRGINIA, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. They do not believe except they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men’s or children’s, are little. In this great universe of ours man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect, as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.

Yes, VIRGINIA, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! How dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus. It would be as dreary as if there were no VIRGINIAS. There would be no childlike faith, then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The eternal light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.

Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies! You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas Eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if they did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that’s no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.

You may tear apart the baby’s rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived, could tear apart. Only faith, fancy, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, VIRGINIA, in all this world, there is nothing else real and abiding.

No Santa Claus! Thank God! He lives, and he lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay, ten times ten thousand years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.

 

 

A Letter to my Aunt Carol

Christmas has always been a difficult time for me.  Since my Aunt Carol passed, it just doesn’t hold the same appeal. I think this year; I may just spend it in a homeless shelter, giving those who are less fortunate a little bit of cheer.

My Aunt Carol, for those who don’t read me on a regular basis, is the woman who took care of me and my mom since I was a wee lass. I dedicate this letter to her so that ALL can get a little taste of what she was like.

My Dear Aunt Carol:

It’s Christmas time Aunt Carol, and as the day grows closer, I feel your warmth, and love upon me. I miss you so much, there isn’t a day that goes by that doesn’t remind me of you. Dad, and you, taught me the joys of life, and for those gifts, I shall be forever grateful.

I remember dad once saying’, “Susan, your aunt Carol is a gem, follow her and watch her shine.” Shine you did, as every Christmas you would organize food drives throughout the city, and then, would help deliver those meals to those who were too poor to enjoy the Holidays.

I remember that one year where you went and picked up 25 people from the homeless shelter, brought them to your house, and then fed them, and all of us. I thought to myself then, (as a child), WHY is she doing this? Years later, I understood your motives, and have followed in your footsteps ever since.

After Dad died, and mom went into her alcoholic depression, you came and took care of me. You fed me, clothed me, but most important of all, you LOVED me.

You made SURE that I followed the right path, encouraged me when I was down, and never scolded when I was in trouble, but (what I called lessonized) me so I would walk the straight and narrow.

When I displayed my lesbian tendencies, you merely treated me as a Human Being, and NOT someone who was “messed up”.  I took your lesson well, and have always tried to treat others the way YOU did.

I’m writing this because I never TOLD you all of this in person. I want you to know that I respect you, learned from you, but MOST importantly, I LOVED you.

If there IS a God, I sincerely know that you will be at His side him watching over me, and directing me, and to continue your wishes. I love you, Merry Christmas.

Susan

 

 

 

 

 

Christmas Magic

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Once upon a time in a land far, far away, there lived a little mouse. Squeaker was a poor mouse,  he lived in the walls of the old town church, ate the scraps of food that the church Pastor would leave him, and slept on the hardwood floors blocked up against a corner to keep the howling wind from finding him.

He was alone, once the product of a large family, a recent storm flooded his cozy, warm home in the fields, wiping out his entire family, which left Squeaker the sole remaining heir. He wasn’t used to feeding himself, as his mother used to bring in all the food to their nest, and prepare it for the family.

These last few days had been a real awakening for him. He had to leave the only place he knew, find a place to live, and THEN, search for food. Luckily, Pastor Mike, who was also alone, befriended him and dropped some crumbs for him after every meal.

Squeaker really liked Pastor Mike, sometimes while the Pastor was eating; he would come out of his little hiding place and watch the holy man as he ate. Sometimes, he wondered if the Pastor was as lonely as he was.

The church had been VERY slow these past few weeks. He would watch the parishioners who once attended weekly, now trickle off to just a handful. It had been a while since a smile turned upon the old man’s face.

 Once, one night while searching for food, Squeaker noticed the old man darning his socks in the wee hours of the evening. He wondered if Pastor Mike’s downtrodden expression was because life had dealt the holy man the same obstacles that had befallen him.

As the late hours of the eve turned to early morning, sleep overcame both the little mouse and the clergyman. Both Squeaker and Pastor Mike had a very restless sleep. Tossing and turning, their dreams haunted them.

Squeaker awoke, startled to find a man the villagers described as Santa, standing there as plain as day before him. He asked Squeaker, if he had one wish for Christmas, what would it be?

Without thinking, Squeaker remarked that he wished that his friend, Pastor Mike would once again be happy. The kindly old spirit turned to Squeaker and smiled, then disappeared into the night.

Pastor Mike ALSO woke with a start. Before him, ALSO stood a ghostly figure, dressed in red, and a smile that ran from ear to ear. Startled, Mike said, “Who ARE you?” The jolly old man replied, “I am the spirit of Christmas miracles.”

As he had asked Squeaker, the spirit asked Mike what HIS one Christmas wish would be. Again, without hesitation, Mike said that he would like to see his friend, the little mouse, be happy and not have to ever struggle for food. Again, the kindly spirit smiled, and disappeared as quickly as he had appeared.

Both Squeaker and Mike then fell into a deep fitful sleep. They awoke to the sound of bells ringing across town. Christmas had come, and the harmony of the bells rang out so that ALL could hear.

As both Squeaker AND he old man wiped the sleep from their eyes, they noticed a change had taken place. The smell of a great feast came drifting in as both the mouse, and the clergyman rubbed their eyes to believe what had happened.

In the rectory was a huge feast prepared, roast beef with gravy, turkey and all that accompanies it, CHEESES of all sorts, but most of all, a note left to both Squeaker and Pastor Mike.

It read: “For your gifts of unselfishness, I have provided unto you. Now, go and enjoy, today, and always.” Huge smiles crossed their faces as they both ate till they were full.

Later that day, Pastor Mike was blessed with the sounds of his people PACKING that little church as he celebrated and gave thanksgiving. Mike and Squeaker never wanted for anything again, and all because of some Christmas Magic.