Two More Added to the Family

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Dot and I did something unusual and impulsive today, we adopted two Blue Tic Coon Hounds. They are sisters and they four years old. Now I know what you’re thinking, why in the world would two raging alcoholics want to get not ONE, but TWO Coon Hounds?”

The answer is, they were a spur of the moment decision. I asked Dot if she wanted to go to the pound and look at some cute animals. She agreed and off went. Now, in all fairness, I have always loved animals, but never thought about taking care of them while I was working.

Now, it just seemed like a good fit, and who better to love these dogs but Dot and I? Anyway, we arrived at the SPCA and were looking at all the cuties, when we happened upon these Blue Tic Coon Hounds.

They were sad looking and even licked Dot and I when we stuck our fingers in their cages. I know, I know, we shouldn’t have done that, but, we did, and they were just sooooo adorable.

I’m sure those of you who have rescued dogs, or cats KNOW exactly what I am talking about, your heart just MELTS, and you MUST have them. Was this a good decision, I don’t know yet.

They were surrendered “supposedly” by an old woman who said she could no longer care for them. Bottom line, we did a “meet and greet” with them. Both dogs were very loving, and seemed like they wanted to get the Hell out of those cages. Who could blame them, right?

I have a large area of land behind my home and it is all fenced in, just a perfect place for the dogs to roam and keep the coons out of my back yard, (Mostly rabbits)…The only thing that is a little annoying however, is their baying. When I let them out, they sniffed the ground, and off they went chasing “SOME” scent they picked up…YIKES!!!

Right now they are both sleeping on the rug by my feet as if they didn’t have a care in the world. I will keep you updated on occasion and let you know how they are doing.  I’ve gotta find a good dog training place now so they can become well trained and adjusted dogs.

Thanks for reading…

Until later…

 

 

 

Much Ado About Nothing

Shakespeare facts

Raise your hand if you like Shakespeare. Now, raise your hand if you are one of the believers who think it was NOT William Shakespeare who actually wrote those wonderful plays and poems.

People like Mark Twain, Henry James, and Sigmund Freud, among others contend that Shakespeare, while growing up in Stratford, had too meager an education to be able to produce such elaborate and thought provoking political plays.

Some thought his works were written by essayist Francis Bacon, others by playwright Christopher Marlowe. The most interesting however, was the 17th Earl of Oxford, Edward de Vere, who had both the intellectual experience and the political savvy at the time to have been in many of the sites where the plays had been written.

My OWN belief is that since Shakespeare was an actor, and a writer of plays. As such, he would have been the perfect candidate to understand the grammatical concept of a play’s structure, AND some of the language required to wright such plays, even WITHOUT a “gentleman’s education”. My thinking is that he possessed an immense talent who then used said talent to create truly beautiful plays and Sonnets.

Sure, the stories and conjecture that he may not have written them lives on, yet, to date, no one has ever PROVED any of these theories. Read on, enjoy the writings, and to Hell with conjecture. My point is, they are beautiful, and truly some of the best English ever written.

Enjoy them for what they are, and put away the conspiracy theories.

Until Later…

 

 

Pop Goes the Weasel…What???

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Most of you have heard the song Pop Goes the Weasel right, my question is, what the HELL does that mean. Yes, yes, I know what a weasel is, but for the life of me I DON’T know why it should go POP!

Did somebody blow the weasel up in a terrorist attack, and if so, why hasn’t anybody ever looked for this terrorist group that blows up weasels? I know what you’re thinking, as you’re scratching your heads, yeah…Why IS that?

Well, to make everyone feel better, I have personally made it my life’s mission to investigate this heinous act. Another thing just occurred to me, what ever happened to the mysterious monkey that was chasing said weasel around the mulberry bush, was he a PART of the terrorist organization?

I have decided to follow the money trail. Let’s face it; SOMEONE had to pay for the hit, right? Then there is the code within the song…

I’ve no time to plead and pine,
I’ve no time to wheedle,
Kiss me quick and then I’m gone
Pop! Goes the weasel.

I am having a friend of mine, who happens to work for the CIA, investigate, and try and CRACK this code. Who is kissing the monkey, or is someone trying to “KISS” the weasel. Believe me, sooner or later I will figure this out.

Fear NOT, my friends, I am on it like Sherlock Holmes, with my sidekick Dot. Pretty soon, this most heinous terrorist group will be found and dealt with accordingly.

Until Later…

 

 

 

 

Lee Israel Writer or Ripoff Artist

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I just finished watching the movie ‘Can You Ever Forgive me’ starring Melissa Mccarthy, and I actually had mixed reviews.  First off, Mccarthy was wonderful in this movie, The REAL character, Lee Israel, not so much.

Here was a woman who finished both High School and college, and decided to become a writer. In and of itself, THAT is OK, what bothered me was that she became an alcoholic.  After SOME success, she turned to letter forgery in order to make a living.

In the 60’s and 70’s, she freelanced for some of the top magazines in the country.  In the late 70’s and 80’s, she wrote biographies of famous people. Her best works were of Tallulah Bankhead and  Dorothy Kilgallen, where Kilgallen rose to number 15 on the New York best sellers list.

After that, with her alcoholism raging, she dropped off the grid, fell into a depression and couldn’t focus her brain on writing ANY books or articles. She literally had gone from a semi successful writer, to a woman on Welfare who was starving.

In order to get by, she wrote forgeries of famous peoples letters like Ernest Hemingway, Fanny Brice, Dorothy Parker and, Noel Coward. This was very lucrative for a year and a half until the FBI caught up with her and ended a promising career.

She was a lucky woman however, and only received a  6 mo. in house stay, and a 5 year probation stint. While on probation, she wrote her own novel of her deceptive life practices.

It turns out that she had written over 400 forged letters and had made thousands of dollars. My question…Should she have benefited from this book, OR, should the money have been paid BACK to those she had duped? You be the judge!!!

Until Later...

 

 

 

 

 

 

Where Did the Term Tail Gate Come From

Years ago in Roman times, The Colosseum, hosted a variety of games. Slaves, were sent into the arena to fight gladiators, lions VS slaves, tigers VS lions, etc. The “fun” idea behind all of these games was two fold…

  1. Sportsmanship and gambling
  2. Fun

Mow one of the favorite Saturday night games was where a gate was set up in the middle of the stadium, then, a lion would be sent in with a slave. The idea was to have the slave run his ass all around the stadium trying to stay alive, while the bet would be to see if the lion could get his tail caught in an opening and closing gate.

The bet, would be to pick a time on when:

  1. The slave would die
  2. When the lion would get his tail extracted by the gate

The closest patron to one of the times would win a percentage of the gate. The idea was, if you were LUCKY enough to pick BOTH the closest times. If you won, you could walk away with several thousand Drachmas, and never have to work again. The term for this game was called “Tail Gating”. Thus, the term was born.

Today, “Tail Gating”, is obviously a bit different. There are NO lions or slaves, and no swinging gates. Instead, there is food, and enough alcohol consumed to fill an ER. Which is better, I don’t know, I kinda like the swinging gate thingy. YOU be the judge…

Until Late…

 

 

 

 

The Warthog, Wart or Hog…Discuss

Now THERE’S a face to love, eh? I feel sorry for this animal. The poor beast gets harassed by the general public as being the ugliest mammal on God’s green Earth.

Let’s be honest, take the ugliest man or woman you can imagine, and then compare them to the warthog, the Humans will look like Adonis’ and the women like Venus.

Think of all the mean things that get said about this lowly creature, like:

 “You’re so ugly, when you were first born your parents named you SHIT HAPPENS”

 “When you went to a Haunted house you came out with an application.”

 “You’re so ugly, you make an ONION cry.”

This of course was just the beginning. They could never get into Harvard or Yale even WITH a 200 IQ, why, you guessed it, they would frighten all the other students.  Or, what about a pet, no one wants a wart hog. Personally, I feel sorry for them.

So the next time you’re meandering through a zoo, if you spot one of these lovely creatures, before you shout out something about how ugly they are, think twice and give them a break.

Oh, and for the record,  thank your lucky stars that YOU weren’t born a warthog, just sayin.

 

Dear Santa

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Dear Santa

Once again, it’s time for all of us “Good Girls” to write Santa for our Xmas requests. I, for one, have been a VERY good girl so I believe having a 125 page list is JUSTIFIED!!!

I’ve decided to only ask for the top five on my list because, well, let’s face it Santa, you are a busy guy and may not be able to fit ALL my presents in your sack along with all your other good girls and boys. 

OK, so here goes Santa: 

  1. I want a Pink Cheery Pro 40 Clitoral Stimulator in magenta—For those long and lonely nights. Cum on Santa, wink, YOU know what I’m talking about. 
  1. A 10 function little black panty thong—This little baby when worn, can bring you to the “BIG O” while shopping, or in the boudoir with your favorite date. A MUST have for EVERY sexy gal. 
  1. How about a sustained loving relationship, either girl OR guy, (As long as he has a big dick). I could really USE one. Hey, how about you, are you tired of the old ball and chain yet? Maybe she is baking you sugar FREE cookies these days, or using SKIM milk? What do ya say baby, give me a go? 
  1. I would like all my friends here to become rich and famous. There, who SAYS I am NOT generous. 
  1. Peace to ALL Nations—I REALIZE this is a tall order Santa, I am just afraid that Humanity cannot solve all the problems we have by themselves. Your helpful, smiling ways would certainly make a big difference throughout the planet. Please see what you can do, OK? 

 I want to thank you for reading this, and I hope you can accommodate me on my wish list. I sincerely hope that you, Rudolph, and all the other elves and reindeer have a very Happy and Merry Christmas. 

  1. P.S. —When I said I was “A Good Girl” this year, I meant to say as good as I could be.

Muah Santa,

 Love ya.

Sooz

The Fable of Thoughts.com

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Once upon a time, a long time ago, (Well, it wasn’t really THAT long ago), there was a man named Ben Ogden. Ben was born cute, and with a silver spoon stuck in his mouth. Luckily, a nearby dentist was able to remove it so that Ben, a well liked rich kid, could go about, become even wealthier, and go on to create his own free website.

The site he created was born out of a “One Love Philosophy”, this meant that everyone would be kind and loving towards each other, and that they would all be free to print whatever they wanted.

This worked well for a while until the TROLLS came. Mean and ugly, these trolls would work their magic to disrupt all the good conversations that were going on in Thoughts land.

Ben, being a benevolent god, raised his powerful hand and behold, T2 came into being, and it was good…Once again, order was restored and we all went along our happy ways.

Then, one day, Ben decided to create a NEW Thoughts, one with awesome imagery, quick response time, and all the bells and whistles you could possibly think of. The writers were skeptical, yet, with their knowledge of T2 and the ease it was to use, they bellied up to the bar, got good and drunk, and let Ben once again have his way.

Alas, this was to be the beginning of the end. Ben went on god hiatus, which is a playground for only the richest of gods, and left the new Thoughts.com floundering. Flounder it did as pictures wouldn’t load, message systems went haywire, and once again the trolls returned with a vengeance.

The old Thoughts.com was gone and the new one went on and off line like an electrical panel.Woe was everyone as the “One Love Philosophy” died, and was replaced with constant bickering and turmoil.

Once again, after a long time at play, Ben returned with a vengeance, and he swore that he would fix the current mess…BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Seems the more he fixed it, the more it faltered. Once again, “the “Woe is me” attitude returned.

People started to leave for the comfort of other sites. After enough good writers left, Ben once again raised his powerful right hand and created a completely new site called Thinkr.xyz.something or other…Whatever…

I had had enough. I picked up my tablet and headed off for greener pastures. Ben…This morale is for you…

“If It Ain’t Broke, Don’t Fix it.”

Just sayin!!!!!!

Sooz

A Cheesy Story by Sooz

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Once upon a time, in a foreign country, far, far away, (I STILL love that opening), there lived a beautiful girl named Cracker. Hey, don’t look at me, I didn’t name the kid, I would have called her Cinderella, or perhaps Shannin. Geez, what some parents call their kids these days.

Anyway, Cracker lived in a beautiful farming village, tucked away in an area where there are fresh, clean waters, and beautiful snow capped mountains. A cabin overlooking the valley displayed Nature’s wonders, and a booming community below.

Cracker was a bright child, she was filled with youthful exuberance, and a profound curiosity of the unknown. She was bored with the small community lifestyle however, and wanted to be an entrepreneur.

One day while in the barn milking the cow, she thought, hum, what would happen if I took some of the rennet from the drying calves liver (YUCK), and added it to the cow’s milk. Wondering … “What If”, she took some cows milk, added the rennet, and thought maybe try some lemon as a little zest. Nothing happened.

Then she thought, OK, let me heat it under a fire and see what happens. When she did, she noticed that the milk began to curdle, Quickly, she got an old cloth and tried sifting out the milk from the remaining lumpy by product.

She let it sit out in the weather for a couple of days, while also pressing the hardened result down between two heavy books. After a couple weeks she ventured out to try her invention. Well, low and behold, it was delicious.

She took it into her parents house and made them taste it. To their surprise, they LOVED it. Her parents said she had a hit here, and took it to sell in the market. It seemed that Cracker just couldn’t make the product fast enough. As soon as she would make some, it would immediately sell out.

That my friends is the story of how cheese was first made. Oh, by the way, did I tell you her last name??? Barrel. And Now you know, the LIAR’S truth.

Sooz Update

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Hi everybody. Just wanted to check in and say that my condition is improving every day. Can’t keep a good girl down, (Unless I NEED to be down Under someone). Yup, I must be getting better, sex is back on my mind.

Speaking of sex, I must say that there is a REAL cute nurse here who has been taking “extra” good care of me. I DO love those slow and sexy sponge baths, especially in those “Hard to get at” areas.

She may very well be my next conquest, when I am able. Anyway, for now, I am limited to chess and video games. Never thought I would become an addict, but the new Final Fantasy game is hard not to keep playing. God, I’m a gamer, hehehehehehe.

If I’m honest, I am going crazy here doing basically nothing. Two more weeks of this monotony and I am FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I can’t wait. I am definitely a type A personality and I NEED to be doing something at all times.

Don’t get me wrong, reading about 60 books and playing chess is OK, but I NEED to be constantly moving and shaking, (Usually my ass). Oh come on, it WAS funny, Laugh dammit.

I MAY also be getting horny again, three times I’ve already masturbated today. Ya see, some things NEVER change, thank goodness. Well, gotta go, it’s time for my fencing lesson…Just kidding, my chess table is set up and Victoria is going to attempt to beat me…Fat Chance.

Bye for now, and love to all.