I’m Drunk!!! You may ask, “What’s so different about that, you ARE an alcoholic”? Well, I’ll tell you, today is the Ides of March, which ALSO happens to be my birthday.
I woke up this morning and Dot gave me my birthday present, a case of my favorite Merlot wine and a birthday cake. Dot and I have already each put away 3+ bottles of wine, and for another present, she made me get naked, took cake and spread it all over both boobs, and my pussy, then began eating it.
I must have cum at least 4 times…WOW!!! What a great gift. I am just so happy and in love with EVERYONE right now, I just had to share it. Here is to me turning 40 something and celebrating it with the love of my life.
I love you all and be happy and enjoy life to the best you can.
Yup, I did it again. The other day about 4:00PM my light switch in the kitchen blew. I had just woken up from my post drunken nap, and had gone to the kitchen for a glass to continue my sustenance celebration.
When I went to turn on the light, it was like the freakin’ Fourth of July, bulbs blew everywhere, it was like “Cover your head, it’s raining glass”. Once again, being a confident, intelligent woman, I figured hey, it’s a switch, how hard could it be to fix?
So what did I do, I first had 3 shots of Vodka, woke Dot up to see if she could be of any help, (She was still passed out), oh well, and called my driver to take me to Home Depot.
I purchased a dimmer switch and off I went. When I returned home, Dot was up and continuing HER celebration so I joined in and helped her celebrate. When I asked her about the switch, she pleaded ignorance so I was on my own.
By now, I was VERY confident I could do this as, I WAS a “Little” Tipsy. I went to get all the tools I needed, pliers, wire cutters, wire caps, black tape, and, oh yes, a Vodka cranberry.
I figured I could do this…So, away I went. Now I realize I should have shut of the power first, but, as I said, I was feeling like a Professional Electrician by this time so I figured I would just be careful…BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!
Disconnecting the switch, no problem, but FIXING the switch BIG problem. I was TRYING to be careful not to touch BOTH the positive and negative wires together at the same time while fixing the light.
The first wire …No problem… The problem arose because I forgot to shut off the actual switch. You see, I was playing with it before I connected the wires and forgot to shut it all the way off.
So, as I tried to connect the power wire, my fingers got BUZZED, I immediately threw the switch out of my hand,sat down and had a shot of courage to help my twitching body.
Drunk now, I was NOT gonna let this thing get the best of me. Forging on, I turned the switch off, connected the power wire without incident, and pushed that bastard of a light switch back into the wall.
I stepped back, and with one hand, I slowly turned on the power…LIGHT APPEARED… I had done it. Well, that required a celebration, so Dot and I celebrated my victory the rest of the night.
These are breasts…
For those of you who may NOT already know, all women have these lovely adornments. I call them adornments because, hey, let’s be honest, they are wonders to adore.
There are big ones, small ones, and even those that are just perfect. Personally, I love them all, but, if I had to choose, I like the smaller ones better. Nothing over a nice handful of fleshy soft bosom that sends me into a tither.
Yup, I have always LOVED breasts, even mine. I’m a breast girl, always have been. There’s nothin’ like the nice soft feel of a breast or two after a hard day of drinkin’, or whatever other work you may do.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I am ALSO in favor of a nice hard ass, one you can just bounce a quarter off of. Ladies, I get it, I too, am attracted to a nice man’s butt. I can just picture me dancin’ right now holdin’ on a squeezing a nice man’s ass.
Now let’s talk about me…(SMILE)… My boobs are very sensitive. Hell you can just blow on them the right way and I’ll get wetter than a hurricane. Other women you can bite on their nipples till the cows come home and they love it.
Why this topic??? I don’t know, I guess I was just thinkin’ of givin’ mine a feel when I started writing this. The “point” is, (Joke intended), they are here to be felt so get in there, start softly feelin’ ‘em or suck them till your hearts content, we won’t mind, I promise.
Love to all Sooz
I sit before you broken and drunk,
A pain within my soul cries out into the night,
Have I nothing of value left?
Hear my cry; all I ask of you is forgiveness.
Touch my soul, offer me recompense,
And guide me along the path of righteousness.
For this is what I seek,
The journey of drunkenness no longer sustains me.
Strengthen my resolve; Guide me within your light,
And let me follow the path towards everlasting light.
Today as usual, I woke up with a huge hangover. What I normally do is to just take a drink from the hair of the dog and continue on from there. Today, however, I needed to go out. I took another drink, called my driver and had him drop me at the local neighborhood bar.
Normally, I don’t do this for two reasons:
- I don’t like everybody knowing that I’m an alcoholic
- At 9:00 AM I am not that sociable
I took my seat at the end of the bar, ordered a vodka martini, and started to watch TV. I noticed there was a pretty blond woman who looked to be in her mid-30’s sitting two stools down from mine, and she too was ordering martinis.
I moved over by her, ordered her a drink and we exchanged names. Her name was Dot, she said as we pretty much downed our drinks. I asked her what such a pretty young woman was doing in a bar at 9:00 AM and she said, “I could ask YOU the same question.”
We hit it off right away as she started telling me her story as to WHY she was sitting on a bar stool so early. She told me she was married once when young no kids, and that her husband, the love of her life cheated on her.
They divorced, and she took to alcohol as a stress reliever. She had started slow, and then started drinking earlier and earlier to numb the pain. Today, she said in a slightly slurred voice, she was a full blown alcoholic just like me.
About the 4th. Martini down, she looked at me with drunken eyelids, moved closer to me and placed her hand down inside the back of my jeans.
I was already half in the bag at this time, so I bought her a double martini and I too order one, and on went our conversation. She said she is usually here every morning drowning her sorrows.
Now, three sheets to the wind, I asked her if she ever thought about taking a woman as a sex partner, now drunk, she said yes. Two martini’s later, we were both wasted. I had the bartender call my driver and I asked Dot if she would like to go home with me.
Putting her arm around my shoulder, she leaned in and kissed me. I took that as a yes. My driver helped us both in my front door, and we immediately staggered to the bedroom. Off came her clothes, as did mine, and what a beautiful body she had.
Firm, round, yet perky tits, legs that wouldn’t quit, and a kiss that was wet and tasted like gin. I felt her pussy and it was dripping wet, just like mine. She put two fingers into my nether region which made me quiver and get wetter still.
I love a woman’s tits, so I caressed them and sucked them plentiful. She moaned and shouted out drunkenly, FUCK ME SOOZ!!! Kissing her all the way down her gorgeous body, I stopped at her mound. Slowly, I licked around the outside of her clit as she begged me to “finish her off”.
I put, my finger in her wet ass while I licked her to one of the best orgasms I have ever seen. She squirted as she came, and I got a mouthful.
Then, once relaxed, she came down to MY HOTSPOT, and liked me until I came so hard I squirted too.
We both fell into a drunken sleep. In the morning, I made 4 pitchers of martinis, two with gin, and two with vodka. I asked her if she would like to stay with me for a while and become my drinking buddy “with benefits”. “Yes,” she said, and we continued to drink until once again, until we were both loaded.
You can guess what happened next, YUP… and she is STILL here. Ahhhhh, ya gotta love the Xmas holidays.
Hi everyone, my name is Sooz and I am wasted. It’s OK though, it IS Saturday night and I am in a partying mood. So, if you see any mistakes in this, and you probably will, it’s NOT because I can’t write properly, it’s because I’m writing while drunk.
I was on here anyway, just checking out the “articles”, and so I thought I would come on and just say hi out there to all my friends. So…Hi!!! The picture above isn’t me, but, I AM drinking a bottle of Jack, and I WAS just dancing a few minutes ago.
No, not at a club, at my house, all by myself, now dressed in this.
What do you think? Do you like it? Of course NOW I am all hot and bothered and about ready to call my neighbor over for some late night entertainment, if ya know what I mean.
I just called him, and he said,”Sooz, are you drunk again”? I replied, “YUP, so are ya cummin…?” Hehehehehehehehe. He’s coming over now so I better have a drink and a pee and I will talk to all of you later. Kisses to all!!!!!
I am embarrassed to ask this question but I’m going to do it anyway. My boyfriend and I have a regular sex life, but, last night, we went to a club and I got a little tipsy. The truth is, I was blasted.
When we got home, my boyfriend, (let’s call him Tom), asked if he could try anal sex. In my condition I said sure and then off came the clothes. I must admit, I was enjoying it after the initial penetration.
Anyway, what I failed to mention was it was unprotected. I was drunk and he was high so it just slipped both of our minds to use protection. Now, I am all worried about a possible pregnancy. What are your thoughts on this?
Dear Drunken Experimenter:
Obviously there is NO direct route from your anus to your vagina, however, if he was playing around OUTSIDE your anus and he had pre-cum NEAR your Vagina, it IS possible that one of those million little sperm buggers could have sneaked in and got to an egg.
Now, THIS is a Loooooong shot however. While I also enjoy anal sex, I recommend using a condom at all times. Remember that STD’S can be acquired without protection in addition to OTHER nasty diseases.
While I can’t give you a clean bill of health on the pregnancy, I WOULD advise you to stop fretting about this. Your odds of becoming pregnant this way are VERY SLIM.
I hope this has answered your question. Good Luck!!!
As I write this Santa, I must admit I have been drinking. I hope that will not deter you from gracing my chimney and adding a load of presents by my tree. I must admit, for ME, I’ve been a “good” girl this year Santa, and if you’re good to me, I will make sure that you AND your reindeer have a ton of food to eat Xmas Eve.
Now for my gifts, since I am an alcoholic Santa, no one wants to be in a steady relationship with me, I was hoping you could find someone who could see me for the good things I do and accept me for who I am, you see, I am a lonely woman Santa, and a companion like that would really be appreciated.
I know what you’re going to say, “STOP DRINKING, and maybe I can get someone”. Believe you me Santa, I have tried and tried but to no avail. At this stage of my life, I could really use someone who is accepting rather than judgmental, ya know?
I KNOW that’s a tough one, but I would really like it if you could do something. I would also for at least 24 hours, true peace on Earth. I realize that THIS ask is for the Supreme Being, but I thought maybe you’ve had dealings with Her/Him before, so maybe that would be in the rehlm of possibility.
Again, I realize this is a BIG ask, but, I believe once felt, they will continue on which will make the world a better place. I thank you for your kind attention, and say hi to Mrs. Clause for me. All the best,
Is it ME, or does it seems like Xmas comes earlier and earlier? I was in the store the other day, and all of the Xmas stuff was already out. This was BEFORE Thanksgiving mind you…WHAT???
All the holiday signs and lights were raised, Xmas trees towering high in the sky, filled with multi-colored lights that practically blind you as you drive by. Did I MISS something? Isn’t Xmas still celebrated on December 25th?
I mean REALLY!!! At THIS rate, I will have to start sending out my Xmas cards NOW…I am just not ready for an EARLY Xmas this year, are YOU? Hell, I haven’t even written my Xmas list to Santa yet, Jeez!!!
Of course, being the magical elf that he is, I’m sure he already KNOWS what I want, 10 cases of Grey Goose Vodka and oh yeah, a real pretty Xmas elf for me to play with too.
Anyway, I digress; I was talking about the stores unbelievable startup of the Season. Already the JOYOUS times of the Season are being observed, people bitching about parking spots, pissed off that the items they want are already sold out and won’t be restocked until AFTER Christmas, and ALL of that good Holiday cheer. Ya gotta LOVE it.
Nothing says Xmas like the days PRECEDING it, right? How about THIS year we take it all in stride and do what I do, if things aren’t going right, just take two or three DEEP breaths, and a HUGE glass of Vodka, or your favorite calmer downer.
Now, that may not FIX what’s wrong, but, it will go a long way on improving your mood. Trust me, I KNOW these things. In fact, while putting up my tree this year, I discovered my lights were screwed up. Did I get all upset and tear down that F**KING tree, NO, I just poured myself a stiff one, and masturbated myself until I was drunk and calm.
This is good advice folks…OK, time for my drunken nap.