Happy St. Payyt’s Day

Image result for drunk st patty's day pictures

 I want to wish a Happy St. Patty’s Day to all my fellow Irishmen and imbibers. I am dancin’ and drinkin’ the day away with lots of green beer and of course, corn beef and cabbage.

And in case you were wondering, Dot and I are both wasted and we are kissin’ everybody we see. If you would like to kiss us, send us a kiss, and we will return the same.

God Bless every one…Cheers and PSRTY ON!!!

Muah…

 

Happy Birthday to Me

Image result for woman drunk eating cake

I’m Drunk!!! You may ask, “What’s so different about that, you ARE an alcoholic”? Well, I’ll tell you, today is the Ides of March, which ALSO happens to be my birthday.

I woke up this morning and Dot gave me my birthday present, a case of my favorite Merlot wine and a birthday cake. Dot and I have already each put away 3+ bottles of wine, and for another present, she made me get naked, took cake and spread it all over both boobs, and my pussy, then began eating it.

I must have cum at least 4 times…WOW!!! What a great gift. I am just so happy and in love with EVERYONE right now, I just had to share it. Here is to me turning 40 something and celebrating it with the love of my life.

I love you all and be happy and enjoy life to the best you can.

MUAH!!!

Until Later!!!

 

Forgiveness

Image result for drunk and alone

I sit before you broken and drunk,

A pain within my soul cries out into the night,

Have I nothing of value left?

Hear my cry; all I ask of you is forgiveness.

 

Touch my soul, offer me recompense,

And guide me along the path of righteousness.

For this is what I seek,

The journey of drunkenness no longer sustains me.

 

Strengthen my resolve; Guide me within your light,

And let me follow the path towards everlasting light.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A New Friend and Drunken Lover

Image result for 2 Drunk women kissing

Today as usual, I woke up with a huge hangover. What I normally do is to just take a drink from the hair of the dog and continue on from there. Today, however, I needed to go out. I took another drink, called my driver and had him drop me at the local neighborhood bar.

Normally, I don’t do this for two reasons:

  1. I don’t like everybody knowing that I’m an alcoholic
  2. At 9:00 AM I am not that sociable

I took my seat at the end of the bar, ordered a vodka martini, and started to watch TV. I noticed there was a pretty blond woman who looked to be in her mid-30’s sitting two stools down from mine, and she too was ordering martinis.

I moved over by her, ordered her a drink and we exchanged names. Her name was Dot, she said as we pretty much downed our drinks. I asked her what such a pretty young woman was doing in a bar at 9:00 AM and she said, “I could ask YOU the same question.”

We hit it off right away as she started telling me her story as to WHY she was sitting on a bar stool so early. She told me she was married once when young no kids, and that her husband, the love of her life cheated on her.

They divorced, and she took to alcohol as a stress reliever. She had started slow, and then started drinking earlier and earlier to numb the pain. Today, she said in a slightly slurred voice, she was a full blown alcoholic just like me.

About the 4th. Martini down, she looked at me with drunken eyelids, moved closer to me and placed her hand down inside the back of my jeans.

I was already half in the bag at this time, so I bought her a double martini and I too order one, and on went our conversation. She said she is usually here every morning drowning her sorrows.

Now, three sheets to the wind, I asked her if she ever thought about taking a woman as a sex partner, now drunk, she said yes. Two martini’s later, we were both wasted. I had the bartender call my driver and I asked Dot if she would like to go home with me.

Putting her arm around my shoulder, she leaned in and kissed me. I took that as a yes. My driver helped us both in my front door, and we immediately staggered to the bedroom. Off came her clothes, as did mine, and what a beautiful body she had.

Firm, round, yet perky tits, legs that wouldn’t quit, and a kiss that was wet and tasted like gin. I felt her pussy and it was dripping wet, just like mine. She put two fingers into my nether region which made me quiver and get wetter still.

I love a woman’s tits, so I caressed them and sucked them plentiful. She moaned and shouted out drunkenly, FUCK ME SOOZ!!! Kissing her all the way down her gorgeous body, I stopped at her mound. Slowly, I licked around the outside of her clit as she begged me to “finish her off”.

I put, my finger in her wet ass while I licked her to one of the best orgasms I have ever seen. She squirted as she came, and I got a mouthful.

Then, once relaxed, she came down to MY HOTSPOT, and liked me until I came so hard I squirted too.

We both fell into a drunken sleep. In the morning, I made 4 pitchers of martinis, two with gin, and two with vodka. I asked her if she would like to stay with me for a while and become my drinking buddy “with benefits”. “Yes,” she said, and we continued to drink until once again, until we were both loaded.

You can guess what happened next, YUP… and she is STILL here. Ahhhhh, ya gotta love the Xmas holidays.

Muah!!!

Until Later…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Drunken Chatter

Hi everyone, my name is Sooz and I am wasted. It’s OK though, it IS Saturday night and I am in a partying mood. So, if you see any mistakes in this, and you probably will, it’s NOT because I can’t write properly, it’s because I’m writing while drunk.

I was on here anyway, just checking out the “articles”, and so I thought I would come on and just say hi out there to all my friends. So…Hi!!! The picture above isn’t me, but, I AM drinking a bottle of Jack, and I WAS just dancing a few minutes ago.

No, not at a club, at my house, all by myself, now dressed in this.

Related image

What do you think? Do you like it? Of course NOW I am all hot and bothered and about ready to call my neighbor over for some late night entertainment, if ya know what I mean.

I just called him, and he said,”Sooz, are you drunk again”? I replied, “YUP, so are ya cummin…?” Hehehehehehehehe. He’s coming over now so I better have a drink and a pee and I will talk to all of you later. Kisses to all!!!!!

MUAH!!!

 

 

 

 

Just Ask Sooz

Image result for drunken sex+cartoon

Dear Sooz:

I am embarrassed to ask this question but I’m going to do it anyway. My boyfriend and I have a regular sex life, but, last night, we went to a club and I got a little tipsy. The truth is, I was blasted.

When we got home, my boyfriend, (let’s call him Tom), asked if he could try anal sex. In my condition I said sure and then off came the clothes. I must admit, I was enjoying it after the initial penetration.

Anyway, what I failed to mention was it was unprotected. I was drunk and he was high so it just slipped both of our minds to use protection. Now, I am all worried about a possible pregnancy. What are your thoughts on this?

Drunken Experimenter

 

Dear Drunken Experimenter:

Obviously there is NO direct route from your anus to your vagina, however, if he was playing around OUTSIDE your anus and he had pre-cum NEAR your Vagina, it IS possible that one of those million little sperm buggers could have sneaked in and got to an egg.

Now, THIS is a Loooooong shot however. While I also enjoy anal sex, I recommend using a condom at all times. Remember that STD’S can be acquired without protection in addition to OTHER nasty diseases.

While I can’t give you a clean bill of health on the pregnancy, I WOULD advise you to stop fretting about this. Your odds of becoming pregnant this way are VERY SLIM.

I hope this has answered your question. Good Luck!!!

 

Sooz’s Christmas Letter to Santa

Image result for woman writing a letter to Santa while Drunk

Dear Santa:

As I write this Santa, I must admit I have been drinking. I hope that will not deter you from gracing my chimney and adding a load of presents by my tree. I must admit, for ME, I’ve been a “good” girl this year Santa, and if you’re good to me, I will make sure that you AND your reindeer have a ton of food to eat Xmas Eve.

Now for my gifts, since I am an alcoholic Santa, no one wants to be in a steady relationship with me, I was hoping you could find someone who could see me for the good things I do and accept me for who I am, you see, I am a lonely woman Santa, and a companion like that would really be appreciated.

I know what you’re going to say, “STOP DRINKING, and maybe I can get someone”. Believe you me Santa, I have tried and tried but to no avail. At this stage of my life, I could really use someone who is accepting rather than judgmental, ya know?

I KNOW that’s a tough one, but I would really like it if you could do something. I would also for at least 24 hours, true peace on Earth. I realize that THIS ask is for the Supreme Being, but I thought maybe you’ve had dealings with Her/Him before, so maybe that would be in the rehlm of possibility.

 Again, I realize this is a BIG ask, but, I believe once felt, they will continue on which will make the world a better place. I thank you for your kind attention, and say hi to Mrs. Clause for me. All the best,

Love,

Sooz

 

 

 

Christmas in November  

Image result for Drunk woman dressed as elf

Is it ME, or does it seems like Xmas comes earlier and earlier? I was in the store the other day, and all of the Xmas stuff was already out. This was BEFORE Thanksgiving mind you…WHAT???

All the holiday signs and lights were raised, Xmas trees towering high in the sky, filled with multi-colored lights that practically blind you as you drive by. Did I MISS something? Isn’t Xmas still celebrated on December 25th?

I mean REALLY!!! At THIS rate, I will have to start sending out my Xmas cards NOW…I am just not ready for an EARLY Xmas this year, are YOU? Hell, I haven’t even written my Xmas list to Santa yet, Jeez!!!

Of course, being the magical elf that he is, I’m sure he already KNOWS what I want, 10 cases of Grey Goose Vodka and oh yeah, a real pretty Xmas elf for me to play with too.

Anyway, I digress; I was talking about the stores unbelievable startup of the Season. Already the JOYOUS times of the Season are being observed, people bitching about parking spots, pissed off that the items they want are already sold out and won’t be restocked until AFTER Christmas, and ALL of that good Holiday cheer. Ya gotta LOVE it.

Nothing says Xmas like the days PRECEDING it, right? How about THIS year we take it all in stride and do what I do, if things aren’t going right, just take two or three DEEP breaths, and a HUGE glass of Vodka, or your favorite calmer downer.

Now, that may not FIX what’s wrong, but, it will go a long way on improving your mood. Trust me, I KNOW these things. In fact, while putting up my tree this year, I discovered my lights were screwed up. Did I get all upset and tear down that F**KING tree, NO, I just poured myself a stiff one, and masturbated myself until I was drunk and calm.

This is good advice folks…OK, time for my drunken nap.

Until Later…

 

 

 

 

Just Ask Sooz

Image result for Women in BDSM

Dear Sooz:

After reading you and your stories, I have always wanted to open up sexually and try some BDSM. I have brought it up to my husband and he seems to be agreeable especially if I would become the submissive.

Can you suggest any starting positions or sexual nuances? I am so excited to start I can’t wait. Take me now, I have some bad ass outfits ready, and I have been a very bad girl, I need to be spanked.

Bad Girl

 

Dear Bad Girl:

I must admit that I also enjoy BDSM sex. Everybody likes something different but I love being both the submissive AND the Dominatrix. I enjoy being tied, up and spanked with a riding crop, BUT, I also enjoy having my submissive being drunk, and totally tied so I can lick and suck them. I love watching them get so wet that they will actually start to drip from excitement as I touch and lick them to delight.

I wish you much love and hope that your experiences are the best.