A New Friend and Drunken Lover

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Today as usual, I woke up with a huge hangover. What I normally do is to just take a drink from the hair of the dog and continue on from there. Today, however, I needed to go out. I took another drink, called my driver and had him drop me at the local neighborhood bar.

Normally, I don’t do this for two reasons:

  1. I don’t like everybody knowing that I’m an alcoholic
  2. At 9:00 AM I am not that sociable

I took my seat at the end of the bar, ordered a vodka martini, and started to watch TV. I noticed there was a pretty blond woman who looked to be in her mid-30’s sitting two stools down from mine, and she too was ordering martinis.

I moved over by her, ordered her a drink and we exchanged names. Her name was Dot, she said as we pretty much downed our drinks. I asked her what such a pretty young woman was doing in a bar at 9:00 AM and she said, “I could ask YOU the same question.”

We hit it off right away as she started telling me her story as to WHY she was sitting on a bar stool so early. She told me she was married once when young no kids, and that her husband, the love of her life cheated on her.

They divorced, and she took to alcohol as a stress reliever. She had started slow, and then started drinking earlier and earlier to numb the pain. Today, she said in a slightly slurred voice, she was a full blown alcoholic just like me.

About the 4th. Martini down, she looked at me with drunken eyelids, moved closer to me and placed her hand down inside the back of my jeans.

I was already half in the bag at this time, so I bought her a double martini and I too order one, and on went our conversation. She said she is usually here every morning drowning her sorrows.

Now, three sheets to the wind, I asked her if she ever thought about taking a woman as a sex partner, now drunk, she said yes. Two martini’s later, we were both wasted. I had the bartender call my driver and I asked Dot if she would like to go home with me.

Putting her arm around my shoulder, she leaned in and kissed me. I took that as a yes. My driver helped us both in my front door, and we immediately staggered to the bedroom. Off came her clothes, as did mine, and what a beautiful body she had.

Firm, round, yet perky tits, legs that wouldn’t quit, and a kiss that was wet and tasted like gin. I felt her pussy and it was dripping wet, just like mine. She put two fingers into my nether region which made me quiver and get wetter still.

I love a woman’s tits, so I caressed them and sucked them plentiful. She moaned and shouted out drunkenly, FUCK ME SOOZ!!! Kissing her all the way down her gorgeous body, I stopped at her mound. Slowly, I licked around the outside of her clit as she begged me to “finish her off”.

I put, my finger in her wet ass while I licked her to one of the best orgasms I have ever seen. She squirted as she came, and I got a mouthful.

Then, once relaxed, she came down to MY HOTSPOT, and liked me until I came so hard I squirted too.

We both fell into a drunken sleep. In the morning, I made 4 pitchers of martinis, two with gin, and two with vodka. I asked her if she would like to stay with me for a while and become my drinking buddy “with benefits”. “Yes,” she said, and we continued to drink until once again, until we were both loaded.

You can guess what happened next, YUP… and she is STILL here. Ahhhhh, ya gotta love the Xmas holidays.

Muah!!!

Until Later…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Drunken Chatter

Hi everyone, my name is Sooz and I am wasted. It’s OK though, it IS Saturday night and I am in a partying mood. So, if you see any mistakes in this, and you probably will, it’s NOT because I can’t write properly, it’s because I’m writing while drunk.

I was on here anyway, just checking out the “articles”, and so I thought I would come on and just say hi out there to all my friends. So…Hi!!! The picture above isn’t me, but, I AM drinking a bottle of Jack, and I WAS just dancing a few minutes ago.

No, not at a club, at my house, all by myself, now dressed in this.

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What do you think? Do you like it? Of course NOW I am all hot and bothered and about ready to call my neighbor over for some late night entertainment, if ya know what I mean.

I just called him, and he said,”Sooz, are you drunk again”? I replied, “YUP, so are ya cummin…?” Hehehehehehehehe. He’s coming over now so I better have a drink and a pee and I will talk to all of you later. Kisses to all!!!!!

MUAH!!!

 

 

 

 

Just Ask Sooz

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Dear Sooz:

I am embarrassed to ask this question but I’m going to do it anyway. My boyfriend and I have a regular sex life, but, last night, we went to a club and I got a little tipsy. The truth is, I was blasted.

When we got home, my boyfriend, (let’s call him Tom), asked if he could try anal sex. In my condition I said sure and then off came the clothes. I must admit, I was enjoying it after the initial penetration.

Anyway, what I failed to mention was it was unprotected. I was drunk and he was high so it just slipped both of our minds to use protection. Now, I am all worried about a possible pregnancy. What are your thoughts on this?

Drunken Experimenter

 

Dear Drunken Experimenter:

Obviously there is NO direct route from your anus to your vagina, however, if he was playing around OUTSIDE your anus and he had pre-cum NEAR your Vagina, it IS possible that one of those million little sperm buggers could have sneaked in and got to an egg.

Now, THIS is a Loooooong shot however. While I also enjoy anal sex, I recommend using a condom at all times. Remember that STD’S can be acquired without protection in addition to OTHER nasty diseases.

While I can’t give you a clean bill of health on the pregnancy, I WOULD advise you to stop fretting about this. Your odds of becoming pregnant this way are VERY SLIM.

I hope this has answered your question. Good Luck!!!

 

Sooz’s Christmas Letter to Santa

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Dear Santa:

As I write this Santa, I must admit I have been drinking. I hope that will not deter you from gracing my chimney and adding a load of presents by my tree. I must admit, for ME, I’ve been a “good” girl this year Santa, and if you’re good to me, I will make sure that you AND your reindeer have a ton of food to eat Xmas Eve.

Now for my gifts, since I am an alcoholic Santa, no one wants to be in a steady relationship with me, I was hoping you could find someone who could see me for the good things I do and accept me for who I am, you see, I am a lonely woman Santa, and a companion like that would really be appreciated.

I know what you’re going to say, “STOP DRINKING, and maybe I can get someone”. Believe you me Santa, I have tried and tried but to no avail. At this stage of my life, I could really use someone who is accepting rather than judgmental, ya know?

I KNOW that’s a tough one, but I would really like it if you could do something. I would also for at least 24 hours, true peace on Earth. I realize that THIS ask is for the Supreme Being, but I thought maybe you’ve had dealings with Her/Him before, so maybe that would be in the rehlm of possibility.

 Again, I realize this is a BIG ask, but, I believe once felt, they will continue on which will make the world a better place. I thank you for your kind attention, and say hi to Mrs. Clause for me. All the best,

Love,

Sooz

 

 

 

Christmas in November  

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Is it ME, or does it seems like Xmas comes earlier and earlier? I was in the store the other day, and all of the Xmas stuff was already out. This was BEFORE Thanksgiving mind you…WHAT???

All the holiday signs and lights were raised, Xmas trees towering high in the sky, filled with multi-colored lights that practically blind you as you drive by. Did I MISS something? Isn’t Xmas still celebrated on December 25th?

I mean REALLY!!! At THIS rate, I will have to start sending out my Xmas cards NOW…I am just not ready for an EARLY Xmas this year, are YOU? Hell, I haven’t even written my Xmas list to Santa yet, Jeez!!!

Of course, being the magical elf that he is, I’m sure he already KNOWS what I want, 10 cases of Grey Goose Vodka and oh yeah, a real pretty Xmas elf for me to play with too.

Anyway, I digress; I was talking about the stores unbelievable startup of the Season. Already the JOYOUS times of the Season are being observed, people bitching about parking spots, pissed off that the items they want are already sold out and won’t be restocked until AFTER Christmas, and ALL of that good Holiday cheer. Ya gotta LOVE it.

Nothing says Xmas like the days PRECEDING it, right? How about THIS year we take it all in stride and do what I do, if things aren’t going right, just take two or three DEEP breaths, and a HUGE glass of Vodka, or your favorite calmer downer.

Now, that may not FIX what’s wrong, but, it will go a long way on improving your mood. Trust me, I KNOW these things. In fact, while putting up my tree this year, I discovered my lights were screwed up. Did I get all upset and tear down that F**KING tree, NO, I just poured myself a stiff one, and masturbated myself until I was drunk and calm.

This is good advice folks…OK, time for my drunken nap.

Until Later…

 

 

 

 

Just Ask Sooz

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Dear Sooz:

After reading you and your stories, I have always wanted to open up sexually and try some BDSM. I have brought it up to my husband and he seems to be agreeable especially if I would become the submissive.

Can you suggest any starting positions or sexual nuances? I am so excited to start I can’t wait. Take me now, I have some bad ass outfits ready, and I have been a very bad girl, I need to be spanked.

Bad Girl

 

Dear Bad Girl:

I must admit that I also enjoy BDSM sex. Everybody likes something different but I love being both the submissive AND the Dominatrix. I enjoy being tied, up and spanked with a riding crop, BUT, I also enjoy having my submissive being drunk, and totally tied so I can lick and suck them. I love watching them get so wet that they will actually start to drip from excitement as I touch and lick them to delight.

I wish you much love and hope that your experiences are the best.

 

 

 

Is Showing Your Tits a BAD Thing

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How many times has this happened to you? You’re at a bar, you meet a woman you like, and after a few drinks she goes to the restroom and returns with her bra and HANDS it to you?

I only ask because this has happened several times to me. What’s a girl or guy supposed to think? Well, for ME, it means that he or she wants to see and play with your tits.

I realize that here in the US,  everyone’s a little uptight, and is usually unwilling to expose themselves in public. In Europe, however, I would lift up my shirt and give this guy or gal a little taste of what is to come, especially if I am a little shitfaced.

Is that such a BAD thing…? I don’t think so. Let’s be honest here people, men WANT women, and vice versa. What is the harm in giving your prospective sex partner a little taste of the merchandise?

Maybe you think I am too much of a free thinker, maybe you think I’m a slut, hey, think what you want, but don’t judge anyone for behaving like normal horny Human Beings.

I don’t think that society should put labels on us. I say, act according on how you feel, THAT way, it will never be a BAD thing, Just MY opinion.

Until Later…

 

 

Dear Diary

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Dear Diary:

It’s midnight and as usual, I am wasted drunk. Ya know, the funny thing is, I LIKE being in a constant state of intoxication. Oh sure, sometimes I pee myself, or fall asleep and wake up on the floor, but really, the hardest part is waking up after a good drunk with all the awful effects.

What I really hate, is the feeling  like a train has run over me and my mouth is all fuzzy. Sure, I can always out drink it, but it takes between 6 and 8 shots before the headache subsides and I start to feel good again.

The question I always ask myself is WHY? My mother was a drunk and I swore I would never be like her, now look at me, a living breathing replica of my mother. The only difference is that I am a smart and rich drunk, big deal.

Why is it I ask myself that I enjoy being intoxicated? I am good looking, like to fuck, and love both men AND women, so why do I NEED alcohol? I believe it must be because somewhere in my life, I must feel insecure.

Sure, the money is great, but as stated, ‘It doesn’t buy happiness’. How true that is. I would much rather have a good woman, or man beside me, sharing in my joys and helping me when I’m down.

I have friends but, THEY don’t usually share a bed with me and discuss the future. I need someone to love me for WHO I am and what I’m about, someone who can love me unconditionally, and accept me for who I am with all my faults. Is THAT even possible?

And WHY am I rambling on to you Dear Diary, I guess it’s just the alcohol taking over at this point. For those who may read this, please don’t feel sorry for me, just try and understand me.

Well, I really can’t see to type anymore, so I guess I’ll just go to bed and pass out. Thanks for listening to all my tales of woe Diary; you’re a good sounding board. Good Night!!!

Until later…

 

 

 

 

Lee Israel Writer or Ripoff Artist

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I just finished watching the movie ‘Can You Ever Forgive me’ starring Melissa Mccarthy, and I actually had mixed reviews.  First off, Mccarthy was wonderful in this movie, The REAL character, Lee Israel, not so much.

Here was a woman who finished both High School and college, and decided to become a writer. In and of itself, THAT is OK, what bothered me was that she became an alcoholic.  After SOME success, she turned to letter forgery in order to make a living.

In the 60’s and 70’s, she freelanced for some of the top magazines in the country.  In the late 70’s and 80’s, she wrote biographies of famous people. Her best works were of Tallulah Bankhead and  Dorothy Kilgallen, where Kilgallen rose to number 15 on the New York best sellers list.

After that, with her alcoholism raging, she dropped off the grid, fell into a depression and couldn’t focus her brain on writing ANY books or articles. She literally had gone from a semi successful writer, to a woman on Welfare who was starving.

In order to get by, she wrote forgeries of famous peoples letters like Ernest Hemingway, Fanny Brice, Dorothy Parker and, Noel Coward. This was very lucrative for a year and a half until the FBI caught up with her and ended a promising career.

She was a lucky woman however, and only received a  6 mo. in house stay, and a 5 year probation stint. While on probation, she wrote her own novel of her deceptive life practices.

It turns out that she had written over 400 forged letters and had made thousands of dollars. My question…Should she have benefited from this book, OR, should the money have been paid BACK to those she had duped? You be the judge!!!

Until Later...

 

 

 

 

 

 

Drunk Sex With Girlfriend

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I love to drink, I love sex, but what I REALLY love to do is have drunken sex. It’s such a wonderful experience that I looked forward to having one of my girlfriends over, getting drunk with her, and then having HOT MONKEY SEX.

The other night that happened. My girlfriend and I went to our local hangout, got drunk together and went back to my place. To say that she was hotter than fire is an understatement, she kissed me, took my hand, and after unbuttoning her pants, she took my hand and placed it on her hot molten mound.

“Feel my breasts,” she slurred as I cupped one,  while gently kissing and sucking her other one. At that point she started moaning as did I, as her lips began to caress MY mounds.

“Put your fingers inside me and kiss my inner thighs,” she moaned, as I started to slowly lick her boiling pussy. Now we were BOTH moaning as she stroked my luscious mound of heat, and placed her finger in my ass.

“Oh my God,” I shouted as she moved her fingers around me like magic. “Don’t stop I shouted,” as she took me higher and higher than the effects of the alcohol ever could. My lips found her boiling flow of sex juice, and my tongue slid in and out of her like a girl sucking a lollipop.

“OH MY GOD,” she shouted as she arched her back and came in my mouth. I yelled out, FUCK ME, FUCK ME”, while she licked me up and down and around my molten drunk clit. No longer could I stand it, I too arched and spilled MY load into her waiting mouth.

We laid there in ecstasy in our hazed condition, staring into each other’s blurred eyes. “I love you,” she said, as I repeated back to her, “Right back at ya baby.” We huddled together in the spoon position as our drunken naked bodies drifted off into a deep sleep.

Until Later…