Pain and Pleasure

It was 10:00 PM in Arizona, I had been reading sexual material, and I needed a sexual fix. I’d been good all week, well, except for my normal masturbation schedule, and I needed a little playtime. I dialed Olga’s number but  I had to leave a message. “Hi Olga, it’s Sooz, and I need a treatment.” Ten minutes later the phone rang, it was Olga. I could tell she had been drinking by her slightly slurred words and she said, “Hi Sooz, you need a treatment, huh, for you, my house is always open.”

“Thanks, Madame”, I said, and I got in my car and started to drive. It took me about an hour to get there winding around long deserted roads and a driveway that seemed to never end. I rang the doorbell which had one of those long rings, and the thick door opened with Olga dressed in her Madame costume.  She was wearing a leather outfit with an  Assless back, and also with her perfectly GORGEOUS TITS exposed, just right for touching.

She welcomed me with a sensuous kiss on the lips, and sure enough, as expected, she had been drinking. “I have a special night planned for you tonight Sooz, but, I need you to be drunk to fully enjoy it, what do you say?”

“Sure enough”, I said with a smile, “What spirits do you have?” “Whiskey with ice, or straight up, what will it be?” “Whiskey with ice, I said, and she poured me a tall one.” “So, why so late”, she asked as I downed the first drink and started another.

I explained to her that I had been good all week, and that I needed a little pain and pleasure action to round me out. “No problem, she said, finish your drink and I’ll fix you another.”

I hurriedly gulped that one down and started my third major drink within 40 minutes. I already had a good buzz on, but this drink went down in about 3 minutes, which threw me over the edge into the land of drunkdom.

Madame Olga led me to a special room, which she called the RED room. Inside was every piece of equipment you could ask, for S&M  sex. Across it, was a setup I needed to use. Olga led me to this contraption and told me to spread my legs wide as she bound them with heavy leather straps.

Then, she took my arms and again bound them wide so I had no rhythm of motion. Finally, she blindfolded me so I could see nothing. I waited as I heard her slap the riding crop hard  against the desk. The next thing I felt was the crop slapping against my ass, pain screamed within me, followed by Olga kissing my red buttocks, then licking it. OMG, I was in heaven.

My pussy was dripping wet with anticipation now as she took a long feather and stroked the insides of my sides with the feather and again kissed each thigh as slow as possible. My breasts were next. She bit them as if she was having dessert spreading pain throughout my body.

The soft suckling of them immediately afterwards, however, sent my senses into overload. I was VERY HORNY and I needed to CUM!!!

I begged her to finish me off, but again, she worked my ass like a pro and told me to shut up. Finally, what seemed like hours, came to an end as she placed her riding crop between my pussy and made me lick my own juices.

She kissed my lips gently and then continued all the way down to my steaming crotch. She put her tongue inside my vagina, all the while fingering the hole in my ass. I could take it no longer, I writhed in the darkness and exploded. Cum came flying out of me as I reached a Vaginal Orgasm and I spurted all over her floor. I was satisfied and exhausted. Olga took me down from my makeshift cross, kissed me, and handed me a strong whiskey.

We drank and talked the night away, and finally fell asleep in Olga’s bed. The next morning I showered, while Olga accompanied me, got dressed, thanked her for a lovely time and left, knowing that I would be back again soon.










Luscious, Succulent Sex

For those of you who may be wondering, I am in a VERY sexy mood this afternoon. I am thing about and picturing SEX. Yes, yes, I know that sex is about love and the relationship and all of that, but, there is ALSO sex as in LUST; the Hot, Sweaty, Horny, and Salacious sex, that’s what I’M talking about.

I am HORNY and I NEED SEX…NOW. I just finished reading a very sexy book and now I want to act out the character. Hey, don’t judge me, I am sure that there are a LOT of good folks just like me who right now, are wet as a river and want to jump on a nice pecker or twat.

OK, yes, I may have been drinking a “little” while I was reading, but, that doesn’t take away the cravings, it ONLY enhances them. My legs are spread wide, and my fingers just slipped underneath my G String. I am WET and I need to be pleasured.

There is no one around so I MUST take care of my OWN needs. Too bad a lot of my readers aren’t closer right now. See you all on the flip side…Ummmm, I just tasted myself….Yummy.


Naughty or Nice

Bless me WordPress for I have sinned. I went shopping today with a buzz on and did the following:

  1. I yelled at 3 people that tried to buy something I wanted when there was only ONE item of each left. They called me a drunken Biatch, but, I still wound up with the items I wanted so THERE F**k heads. 
  1. I waited in line to see Santa and gave him a Lap Dance…What??? Hey, Not my fault, I was buzzed. I must say though, Santa had a BIG present for me, and I liked it. I tried to get his number for later, but he said he was married so I thought better of calling him. 
  1. I gave the Salvation Army Santa a hundred dollar bill, and when I asked if it was OK to feel his ass, he agreed. See, money CAN buy you SOME things. Man, I LOVE ASSES. 
  1. I stopped at a couple of bars for some Xmas cheer, and I must admit, I was VERY cheerful when I left. I had kissed at least 3 patrons, including the female bartender. Will I burn in Hell??? 
  1. I got home, staggered in the door, fell to the floor, and decided I might just as well Masturbate while I was there, I was very HORNY!!! 
  1. After the deed was done, I crawled to my bar, grabbed a bottle of Vodka and drank it till I passed out. I just woke up now. I am somewhat sober still, BUT, I can surely fix that. 

OK, how many prayers am I going to have to say to FIX all of that, 10, 50, 100, WHAT??? That was MY day folks, I hope YOURS went a lot more smoothly. Until next time…

P.S.—In case you were wondering, I have a driver that takes me around. I do NOT Drink and Drive!!!







Sooz’s Drunk Stories

Once upon a time, probably since I was around 19, I have had a drinking difficulty. I won’t say problem, because you see, it WASN’T a problem, I dealt with being drunk swimmingly.

Understand something, when drunk, I am funny, life of the party, and a VERY HORNY woman. When loaded, I wanna have SEX, and the more I get, the more I want.

By the way, once again, I am writing this while SH** Faced. I have decided to take the month of Xmas off from sobriety and just go nuts. Hey, I’m entitled. So, if you like me sober, you’ll LOVE me drunk.

OK, I am going to admit something to all my fans, I am lonely. Being rich is fine, but it can’t buy what a relationship between two people have, THAT is special. I am looking for someone, either girl or guy, who is ready for a relationship and doesn’t mind if I get inebriated once in a while. Know anyone???

I am fun loving, funny, and loyal. Geez, that sounded like I am a German Sheppard or perhaps a Girl Scout. I must admit, I have thought about internet dating, but, it seems like all of my friends who have tried it got TERRIBLE results.

I have seen the pics they put on their profiles, they look like Adonis’s, but when you meet them, they look like Don Rickles. No offense Don. I think I am ready, but, I DO need someone with a HIGH SEX drive, and someone who is interested in new sexual experiences.

I am a catch, believe me, that is if you don’t mind me tipping the bottle a bit. Any takers??? Hehehehehehe. I am hosting a Xmas party this year for all my friends and Family. THAT should prove interesting. Thirty Five people who Love to drink and carouse, perhaps I’ll find my soul mate there, fingers crossed.

I’m sorry, I have to go as I am REALLY Horny and I need to take care of something. Merry Christmas to everyone, oh, and please don’t hate me for drunk writing. :pve to all…LITTERALLY!!! Hehehehehehe.




Odd but True Xmas Gifts

Sexy woman in panties

OK, here’s the low down, it’s getting time to buy all your Xmas presents, as Black Friday approaches. Sure, you can buy aunt Ghirta her FAVORITE socks again, and certainly let’s not forget Uncle Clyde’s favorite booze so he can STAY pickled, OR, you can shop at Sooz’s home delivery facility and use some of MY gift ideas.

Mine may be a little offbeat, however, I’ve been told there is a niche for everyone, right? Here are just a few of my ideas for Xmas that will wet ANYONE’S whistle.

  • Disappearing Hair Mug –Yup that’s right, it starts, showing a full frontal view of my pussy. As you drink your favorite beverage, my pubic hair disappears until I am as shaved as a brand new spankin’ baby. Just imagine the possibilities? Only 15.99


  • Trip the Light Fantastic With Sooz Handbook—People, you don’t wanna miss out on this. This will show you HOW to get a date, where to go, and what to DO when the timing is right. The perfect handbook for every guy and gal. A steal at only 22.95.


  • Masturbation Handguide for Dummys—Yes, yes, I can hear you now, “But Sooz, I KNOW how to masturbate”. Believe me folks, you may know how to choke the chicken, or make yourself pulsate like a river, BUT, I guarantee UNBELIEVABLE MIND BLOWING EXPERIENCES after you read my book. Who doesn’t want to CUM 6 or 7 times a day like I do? Read my book and become a masturbation EXPERT like me. Today thru next week, only 25.99.


  • A Date with Sooz—OK folks, this was a last minute decision, but, I NEED to get LAID. For only 250.00, you can date me, converse with me, and if your lucky, take me to your place and show me a good time. (Wink…Wink).


OR, those socks are still available. The choice is YOURS, I’m SURE you will make the RIGHT one. Muah!!!





Sex, Masturbation and Master Slave



Dear Internet

 I use you each and every day and I don’t understand why you give me prompts for writing that suggest- Sex, Master Slave, and Masturbation. Yes, while it is true that I occasionally talk about Sex and Masturbation, I hardly EVER discusses my Master Slave proclivities.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t MIND talking about Master slave situations, it’s just that I don’t write about it that often to have my writing suggestions use this subject. I would much rather have my suggestions include Just Ask Sooz, or perhaps Sooz’s Fractured Fairy Tales.

Hell, even those stories about getting drunk or having drunken sex would be better. Preferably, the best suggestions would be about-Rainbows, Unicorns, and World Peace. OK, look, I would probably sprinkle these subjects with Sex, Masturbation, and perhaps Master Slave proclivities, BUT, I would much rather see the above in print as suggestions.

 I am finished bitching now, I realize you are just doing your due diligence when it comes to offering suggestions for all your writers. I promise to play nice from now on and will just take your suggestions as written. I humbly apologize for being a sexy depraved woman, who loves engaging in continuous masturbation, and will write more about my sexual Master Slave occurrences to live up to my suggestive matter.




P.S. My hands are in my pants as we speak… FU!!!!




Sooz Update

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Hi everybody. Just wanted to check in and say that my condition is improving every day. Can’t keep a good girl down, (Unless I NEED to be down Under someone). Yup, I must be getting better, sex is back on my mind.

Speaking of sex, I must say that there is a REAL cute nurse here who has been taking “extra” good care of me. I DO love those slow and sexy sponge baths, especially in those “Hard to get at” areas.

She may very well be my next conquest, when I am able. Anyway, for now, I am limited to chess and video games. Never thought I would become an addict, but the new Final Fantasy game is hard not to keep playing. God, I’m a gamer, hehehehehehe.

If I’m honest, I am going crazy here doing basically nothing. Two more weeks of this monotony and I am FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I can’t wait. I am definitely a type A personality and I NEED to be doing something at all times.

Don’t get me wrong, reading about 60 books and playing chess is OK, but I NEED to be constantly moving and shaking, (Usually my ass). Oh come on, it WAS funny, Laugh dammit.

I MAY also be getting horny again, three times I’ve already masturbated today. Ya see, some things NEVER change, thank goodness. Well, gotta go, it’s time for my fencing lesson…Just kidding, my chess table is set up and Victoria is going to attempt to beat me…Fat Chance.

Bye for now, and love to all.


A Line from Sooz

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Many of you know that I have been seeing a woman from France, you ALSO know that I am a recovering alcoholic, (Or drunk as I don’t attend meetings), here’s the thing, my recovery as slipped due to her.

Do I want to be a drunk for the rest of my life, no, do I want to continue seeing this woman who I am developing feelings for, yes, I am so confused right now. You see, as I write this I am PISSED. For those who don’t understand Gahlic, I’m drunk.

As always, it started with one drink of wine, then another and so on, now, I look forward to getting drunk with Bella and having incredible sex. You see, she is the only one I have found, who ALSO has a compatible sex drive like mine.

The more I drink, the more I want to drink, as it makes me feel Veeerrry Seeexxxxy, Meowwwwww…Bella loves to drink and get pissed, so do I but then I don’t want to LIVE the drunkard lifestyle anymore. I have taken a long time trying to get OVER this addiction and yet, it keeps pulling me back in.

I am at a crossroads here, I am falling in love with this woman, but, I realize that her habits are very bad for my sobriety. What to do, what to do? Perhaps I should Just Ask Sooz and see what SHE says, hehehehehehe.

If anyone has any thoughts on this that could help, please feel free to dish it out. I could really use the voice of reason right about now. God, it has taken me 3 times to write this….Hehehehehehehe.

Time to masturbate, MUAH to ALL!!!!!

10 Things Never to do When Writing

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There are sooooooooo many people out there who write to “improve” other people’s writing, without ever explaining WHAT pitfalls to watch for when you finally DO pick up that pen and paper or computer.


I have devised a list of 10 things you should never do when you are writing, so that all of you potential writers have a CHANCE of making a million dollars on your next book.


  1. Never write when you are drunk. Ask me, I KNOW. When drunk, you believe you have written a masterpiece, when all you have actually written is something right out of Sooz’s Nursery Rhymes.


  1. Never write when you are tired. If you DO, the brain wants to finish your article toot suite, and it ends up going in the rejection bin in the morning. It is better just to sit down, relax, have 6 or 7 drinks, pass out and then try again in the morning. (The writing that is, NOT the drinking).


  1. While having sex. It CAN be done, but it is very difficult. Either finish your love play first, OR your writing.


  1. While watching TV. All I can say here is BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!! This is a big no no. Too much interference that messes with your creativity. Finish watching House Hunters and THEN write.


  1. Never write on an empty OR a full stomach. If you write while you are hungry, you are always thinking about food. If you write on a full stomach, you are either thinking about sleeping OR puking. Enough said here.


  1. Never write about a personal experience you had unless it is EXTREEMLY funny or horrifying. Nothing else is really interesting; again…Ask me, I’ll tell you.


  1. Never write while you are depressed. If you do, no one will EVER read you again. Just sayin’.


  1. Never write when you are sleepy. If you do, you will find a story like this. Once upon a time………………………………………………………………….. nnnnnnnnnnnjjjjjjjjjjjjjjklkjchhdecwdclksMcSC,m d/ wlejl  kwc


  1. Never write when you are butt naked. Sure, it feels great, BUT…Then you have to stop every 15 minutes to masturbate and you lose the coherency of the story. Again, personal experience.


OK… There IS no number 10 because as you have probably figured out, I AM drunk and this whole thing is a compilation of drivel. I’ll hit the sack and try again when I am sober.

Bye for now…










A List of Things You Can do When Bored

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Let’s face it, lists are fun. Being bored is NOT fun, so, I decided I would list some things you could do when you are bored. Hopefully, you will enjoy this list.

  1. Masturbate- A fun and simple way to relieve boredom, AND relaxing too.


  1. Go Skydiving- This is a real ass kicker and unbelievable experience, hey, “Don’t knock it if you haven’t tried it”.



  1. Make paper dolls out of an old newspaper…Go on, TRY it.


  1. Play with paper dolls after making them. Hehehehehe…I CAUGHT you.



  1. Try reading a book longer than “War and Peace”.


  1. Take a walk in the rain, OR, if you have an arid climate, take a long shower and pretend you are walking in the rain. Hell, you might even make it better by masturbating while you’re in there.



  1. String paper clips together and see how long of a chain you can make.


  1. Eat something, regret what you ate, and repeat.



  1. Sleep, but, then you would be missing all of the fun activities I’ve already listed.


  1. Drink-OK, I KNOW I shouldn’t list this, but, it has always been a good boredom reliever for me, and then, Usually, I masturbate.