Sooz Plays the Mother????

Image result for young mother and baby

How many people  see  me as the “mother type”? Well, I must admit if I am being honest, I never saw myself as the type, until a good friend of mine asked me to babysit her one year old baby girl.

When she asked, immediately two thoughts came to mind:

  • One…Why me???
  • I will need to be SOBER to do this gig, right?

I must admit, I DO love kids, I just never saw myself taking care of any. I mean I am a pretty regimented gal, you know, up at 6.00, drunk as a skunk by noon, nap until 4:00, and then repeat.

So taking a baby under wing for a few hours did cause me a bit of concern. In the end however, I decided that I could do it, and REALLY, how hard could it be to take care of a one year old anyway?

When my girlfriend dropped her off, I was like, is she moving IN or what? She brought diapers,(NOT PAMPERS), cloth…I didn’t even know they still MADE these anymore. Along with her came a carrying bag filled with every goodie made by man.

She had diaper wipes, ass creams, spit up rags, (WHAT???)  bottles, formula, (What, was this kid going to do, calculus or something?), cute little teething rings of teddy bears and flowers, a nightgown, some kind of white dusting powder that looked like Coke, I think, (eyes looking up to God), and a LIST of what to do in case of an emergency.

NOW, I was scared. I never changed a REAL diaper, let alone been responsible for a child’s nutrition. I kept thinking, couldn’t I be just a “LITTLE DRUNK”…Oui!!! No, I just smiled and said everything would be fine (Lying through my teeth).

I took position of the little creature and before my friend left I asked…”What time will you be home”? She said, “late”, and closed the door. Now I was panicked. What should I do first?

I grabbed the cheat, cheat list and it said FEED HER. I was lucky and was able to get some milk down the kid. Next it said BURP HER??? WHAT??? I looked at Molly as I kept saying “burp kid”, come on, you can do it. With enough pleading and praying, she finally let out a big BUUUUUUUURRRRRP.

Phew, I thought as I stood there proud of myself for making a kid burp. Hey, maybe I had just discovered a new career. Molly was fine for about an hour when I started to smell this rank smell. Praying that it wouldn’t be “The Diaper Change”, I slowly lifted her up to my nose. Yes I did…I puked all over God and Country . Molly needed a change. After I cleaned up me, and the carpet, I gave Molly ago. How hard could this be right? After twenty minutes of scattering poop all over, I finally called a friend of mine who walked me through it on Skype. I needed a drink, or ten.

I got Molly to bed, I sat down, and took a deep breath…I had MADE it!!! Ten minutes later, there was a knock at the door and my friend returned. THANK YOU JESUS!!!

After she left, I opened the biggest bottle of vodka you can think of, and drank myself to sleep hoping I would never remember this experience again.

Until Later…

 

 

A Touching Birthday Present

 

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Today, I received a very late Birthday present from a friend of mine I haven’t seen in 12 years. Years ago, when I was in school, we used to hang out, drink together, tell each other everything, and got in trouble often.

The years passed, I got my first job and she moved away to New England somewhere. At first, we used to write letters to each other, (Remember what letters are?), and of course the usual phone calls, but then we slowly drifted apart.

She became the manager of  a prestigious editing firm in Boston, and I was working on my goal to conquer the world by the time I was 30. As time drifted by, our once exuberant and playful friendship turned to a Christmas card once a year followed by nothing at all.

Then today, Federal Express knocks on my door with a package. My curiosity got the best of me since I wasn’t expecting anything and I immediately ripped open the package. Inside, was a beautiful portrait of her and I together when we were both drunk and kissing.

I remembered as I saw this, that another friend of ours, (Who was an art student), took a Polaroid of us, and caught us in the act. Turns out, she was the one who painted the picture from this snapshot. Julia, my friend in Boston, contacted her to paint this picture. OMG, the memories just flooded back, I was back in school again.

I was amazed at how good the likenesses were from just a snapshot. I found a card inside that read, “Never forget the good times, love, Jules.” Thank goodness there was a phone number inside, I grabbed the phone and on the third ring she picked up, “Hello”, she said, well, I started to cry as I heard her voice, and I said “Jules, that was the nicest present I ever got.”

We spoke for two hours and caught up just like it was 20 years ago. We said our farewells and swore that we would always keep in touch. I hung the picture in my bedroom so I could look at it each night and remember the good times on a daily basis.

Until Later…

 

 

 

 

Christmas Past

Hi everyone. I hope your day is going as well as mine. I am curled up by the fireplace that I hardly ever use, with of course my favorite bottle of Vodka with cranberry.

I am actually a bit pensive today, just dreaming about some of my best Christmas experiences. I remember one Christmas Eve, I must have been about 5, our home was decorated to the nines, as my Daddy did so love Christmas, and the smell that came from our kitchen as Mom was making our Christmas dinner was AMAZING.

My dad was the most loving, and kind man on Earth. That year, he had called down to the City Mission, and invited all the homeless to visit US for a wonderful Christmas dinner.

Seriously, he did. One by one, there would be a knock at the door, and our home would quickly come alive with the wanton of our Society. Mom had prepared an amazing repast, Turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, green bean casseroles, freshly baked rolls, and of course a HUGE Figgy Pudding for dessert. OH MY!!!

I remember my daddy greeting the less fortunate at the door like they were all FAMILY, and he welcomed them ALL into our home. He would play Xmas songs on the piano while everyone would join in and sing. Good times.

People would eat and eat as my mom quickly replenished the food for everyone. Memories like this filled my soul full of joy, and they have transformed ME into a better Human being.

Oh sure, I still have my faults, but I ALWAYS remember the poor, and how happy they were, at least for a night when they regained their love for each other. To this day, I go to the mission, and invite the downtrodden for dinner. They are indeed the TRUE meaning of Christmas.

Sorry, I seemed to have rambled on a bit here, I do that after tipping a few pops. I sincerely hope you have enjoyed my Christmas past, and I urge you all to at least say a prayer this Holiday Season for those who are less fortunate than you. Believe me, you will be blessed 7 Times 7.

Good night, Happy Hanukkah, a very Merry Xmas to all.

 

 

 

The Fable of Thoughts.com

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Once upon a time, a long time ago, (Well, it wasn’t really THAT long ago), there was a man named Ben Ogden. Ben was born cute, and with a silver spoon stuck in his mouth. Luckily, a nearby dentist was able to remove it so that Ben, a well liked rich kid, could go about, become even wealthier, and go on to create his own free website.

The site he created was born out of a “One Love Philosophy”, this meant that everyone would be kind and loving towards each other, and that they would all be free to print whatever they wanted.

This worked well for a while until the TROLLS came. Mean and ugly, these trolls would work their magic to disrupt all the good conversations that were going on in Thoughts land.

Ben, being a benevolent god, raised his powerful hand and behold, T2 came into being, and it was good…Once again, order was restored and we all went along our happy ways.

Then, one day, Ben decided to create a NEW Thoughts, one with awesome imagery, quick response time, and all the bells and whistles you could possibly think of. The writers were skeptical, yet, with their knowledge of T2 and the ease it was to use, they bellied up to the bar, got good and drunk, and let Ben once again have his way.

Alas, this was to be the beginning of the end. Ben went on god hiatus, which is a playground for only the richest of gods, and left the new Thoughts.com floundering. Flounder it did as pictures wouldn’t load, message systems went haywire, and once again the trolls returned with a vengeance.

The old Thoughts.com was gone and the new one went on and off line like an electrical panel.Woe was everyone as the “One Love Philosophy” died, and was replaced with constant bickering and turmoil.

Once again, after a long time at play, Ben returned with a vengeance, and he swore that he would fix the current mess…BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Seems the more he fixed it, the more it faltered. Once again, “the “Woe is me” attitude returned.

People started to leave for the comfort of other sites. After enough good writers left, Ben once again raised his powerful right hand and created a completely new site called Thinkr.xyz.something or other…Whatever…

I had had enough. I picked up my tablet and headed off for greener pastures. Ben…This morale is for you…

“If It Ain’t Broke, Don’t Fix it.”

Just sayin!!!!!!

Sooz

Gambling, Stripping, and Poker, Oh My

Image result for Half naked women playing poker

So…OK, I realize that I should NEVER start a sentence with So, but that’s just me, I’ll do it anyway because I can. There are many things that get me going, and one of them is Poker.

Yup, I love to gamble and play Poker, When a couple of friends of mine invited me over to play Strip Poker, what could I say but I’ll be there. I put on some sexy underwear (Just in case), hopped in my car and off I went.

Cindi, Maria, and Audrey have been long time friends and poker players so I KNEW it would be a blast. We decided to play Texas Hold ‘Em, one of my favorite games.

The first hand, I got dealt a pair of nines. The game was 5 and 10 dollars to open so I started and bet 15.00. Everyone called and the river was a 6 of hearts, ace of diamonds and king of diamonds.

Cindi bet 10, and everyone else called. The next card on the river was another 9 so I bet 25. All but Cindi folded. I bet another 25 bucks and Cindi called me.

The last card for the river was a queen of hearts. I bet another 25 and Cindi called and raised another 10.00. I figured I was pretty safe with 3-9’s so I called her. DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Cindi had a straight, Ace high. Off came my shoes.

The games went on until early in the morning. As it turned out, I lost, and was down to just my sexy black panties. A fun night was had BY ALL. You can guess the rest. …WINK…

Just Ask Sooz

Dear Sooz:

I have been reading your posts for a long time now, and I have a question. I am a girl of 23 who lives with two roommates. One, I’ll call Paula, and also a boy maned Manny.

My question is this: Is it possible to fall in love with both of them? We have lived together now for 3 years and have become very friendly. I have dated both of them, and I think I am in love with both Manny and Paula.

As yet, I have not slept with either, but I believe that they both want to sleep with me. I am torn because I love them both and do not want the other one to get jealous. What’s your take on this?

Confused in Kentucky

 

Dear Confused in Kentucky:

Wow!!! You have really said a mouthful here. First off, you don’t seem to have any qualms about your sexuality, that’s good. At least you know and accept that you are bi-sexual.

As far as having sex with either or both, that’s a tricky one. Has either one of them made a move on you, or hinted that they WANT to sleep with you? If they have, then I would confront BOTH of them and tell them how you feel about them.

Then, if you sleep with one, at least the other will be aware of your feelings. Hopefully this will work out for you, but since you are only 23, I wouldn’t be jumping into anything just yet. Date for a while, see many people and THEN make your decisions.

Good luck…

 

 

Yea!!!! It’s the 4th. of July

I’m ready, I’ve got my cowgirl outfit tightly fitted to my body showing “just” enough cleavage, my boots, and my 10 gallon hat. That’s right, I’m heading to the Rodeo in Flagstaff to watch a rip roarin’ Rodeo.

Oh sure, there will be plenty of food and beverage afterwards, and of course, lots of fun and revelry. My favorite is when the cowboys get drunk and try and lasso us gals. Definitely a good time is had by all, ESPECIALLY the cowboys once they CATCH us…WINK!!!

Of course, no 4th. Of July holiday is without campfires, singing, and puking behind the cook wagon. Ah, just good old western fun. My favorite, (Besides the cowboys catchin’ us), is the outstanding fireworks display. No one knows how to do fireworks like a cowboy.

The sky is dark with an infinity of stars circling overhead. They start slow as does the music, and then burst into a crescendo of streaming colored lights just circling the sky. I’m tellin’ ya, THIS is an amazing sight to watch. I have seen fireworks on many different sides of the globe, but THIS, is second to none.

I wonder what each and every one of you, who celebrate, do on YOUR 4th? I’d be interested in knowing if you care to unleash your secrets. At any rate, enjoy your day, eat, drink, and above all…Be Merry!!

Until Later…

 

Where The Hell Has Sooz Been

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To answer the above question, I have been selling my firm to 10 of my business associates. Deal is finally closed, and so now I am among the unemployed. I gave them a great deal, they are very good workers and will carry on the business just as I did.

I am happy, but also sad because it closes a very successful part of my life. Now I must gather my wits together, and find a place to live off campus. Lots to do and really not that much time left to do it in. 

A new adventure though, and one that ultimately, I am very much looking forward to. Right now I am exhausted from all the dealings, but it’s finally over now. The next time I’ll be employed again, I will be a full fledged Psychologist. I am really looking forward to it.

Fingers crossed, but legs always open…Hehehehehehehehe….

Until Later…

 

 

 

Vacation to The Carabbean

Hi everybody! How’s your day going? Got to work early today and finally got caught up on all the paperwork I had to do. I’ve decided that I am going to go to the Caribbean for about 2 weeks.

My health has started to erode once I started back to work and started burning the candle at both ends again. I called my Dr. and he said he thought it would be good for me, so, I quickly booked a nice place in St. Lucia and off I go starting tomorrow.

I have been there several times and I believe it is just what I need to get completely healed. I will miss you all and hope you don’t forget me when I get back… My love to ALL…

Sooz

All Your Easter Eggs in One Basket

I’ll be glad to be your Easter Bunny this year!!!

jessica

 

Well, it’s Easter again; the air is filled with spring, many put on their Easter best and go to church, while others stay nestled in their homes, enjoying the day with their families, and watching the kids scurrying to find their Easter baskets.

I remember getting so excited as a kid, getting up at the crack of dawn, waking my parents from their obviously over extended sleep, and aimlessly running around the house endlessly searching for my Easter basket.

Every year it seemed like that damn Easter Bunny kept trying to trick me by hiding his wares of delight in very unusual places. Once, I had to go into the garage and FINALLY found it in the rafters, WHAT?????

Nothing better than finding your basket and then devouring all that great candy and of course those deliciously colored eggs. Easter, besides St. Patties Day, Easter has always been my favorite day.

Sure, I’m down and out right now, but the happiness I feel on this day brightens my spirits and helps my soul to sing. From the bottom of my heart, I want to wish all those who celebrate, a happy and enjoyable day.

I will be thinking of you as you join your families and loved ones for a wonderful dinner, and a beautiful day…

Until Later…