Just Ask Sooz

Jaroslav Čermák (1831 - 1878) - Sv. Mikuláš.jpg

Dear Sooz:

My daughter is 5 and she has just asked me if there is a real Santa Claus. Of course I said yes, but, I would like to give her an answer that would satisfy her. Her friends at school say that there isn’t any such thing as Santa Claus. Please help me.

Frustrated Mom


Dear frustrated Mom:

Tell your daughter that Santa Claus does exist. He is formed from the LOVE that exists because of the Saint, Nicholas. Nicholas was a very kind man living over 2000 years ago near Turkey.

Often, he would leave food for the poor, and buy small gifts for the poor family’s children. He would do this in secret so that the recipients would not know who left them.

He did so love the children that he would go and sit in the square while little children would come up to him with their parents. He would talk to them asking if they had been good, and then he would speak with them about the true meaning of Christmas.

It was during these times he would ask the children, if they could have what they wanted, what would it be? Being from a wealthy family, Nicholas would purchase the gifts, then find out where they lived. He would deliver the gifts that the children wanted, along with a large Xmas turkey for their family.

Of course all of his gift and food donations were held to the utmost secrecy. It is from him where Santa Claus (Sinterklaas) was born. After his death, the townspeople carried on his tradition of secret gift giving which carried on through the ages.

To prove it further, millions of pieces of mail are sent to post offices yearly from all over the globe addressed to Santa Clause, c/o The North Pole. So yes, my dear there IS a Santa Claus.

Merry Christmas…




Just Ask Sooz

Image result for drunken sex+cartoon

Dear Sooz:

I am embarrassed to ask this question but I’m going to do it anyway. My boyfriend and I have a regular sex life, but, last night, we went to a club and I got a little tipsy. The truth is, I was blasted.

When we got home, my boyfriend, (let’s call him Tom), asked if he could try anal sex. In my condition I said sure and then off came the clothes. I must admit, I was enjoying it after the initial penetration.

Anyway, what I failed to mention was it was unprotected. I was drunk and he was high so it just slipped both of our minds to use protection. Now, I am all worried about a possible pregnancy. What are your thoughts on this?

Drunken Experimenter


Dear Drunken Experimenter:

Obviously there is NO direct route from your anus to your vagina, however, if he was playing around OUTSIDE your anus and he had pre-cum NEAR your Vagina, it IS possible that one of those million little sperm buggers could have sneaked in and got to an egg.

Now, THIS is a Loooooong shot however. While I also enjoy anal sex, I recommend using a condom at all times. Remember that STD’S can be acquired without protection in addition to OTHER nasty diseases.

While I can’t give you a clean bill of health on the pregnancy, I WOULD advise you to stop fretting about this. Your odds of becoming pregnant this way are VERY SLIM.

I hope this has answered your question. Good Luck!!!


The Making of Just Ask Sooz


For years I would pick up the newspaper and read Ann Landers and her sister Dear Abby. I got to thinking, hmmm, these are good, but I think I can do it better. So, I decided I would try it.

First, I had to get someone to write to me with a question. I put out my name and email requesting that ANYONE who had a question they needed me to answer, write to me and I would answer them directly. Two months later, I received my FIRST letter.

The letter was about a sexual problem she was having and asked if I could help her. With enthusiasm, I picked up my computer and answered her the best that I knew how. She responded back saying that the advice I gave her was helpful, and it actually helped to change her life.

After that, little by little, I would get a trickling of letters which I would answer immediately. Since I first started, I have since earned a psych. degree along with my existing business and marketing degrees.

It has been a wild and crazy ride doing this with now hundreds of Emails coming in per day. If you need my help and or opinion on something, my Email is dreamshadow59@gmail.com. I am here for you if you need me, if not, I hope you enjoy my responses.

Until Later…




Random Thoughts/ Just Ask Sooz

Image result for Drunk wife with husband

Hello my friends, sorry I haven’t been around in a few days; I am still grieving over the loss of Bella. I can’t seem to manage to do anything these days except tip a glass. Oh well, life goes on, right?

I must say, everyone I know has been very supportive which has helped me tremendously, thank you. You never know who your true friends are unless something like this has happened.

 Today I went out and bought a few simple gifts as a thank you. It actually felt good to get out into the open air and just breathe again. I have been cooped up in my home boozing for so long; I had forgotten what the real world looks like.

For the folks who read me, I want to apologize for not being a very good writer lately. As it turns out, I too am Human and have feelings like everybody else. Feeling better now, I believe I will start creative writing again shortly.

Admittedly, I miss both my readers and the daily writing. Thank all of you for being patient. I will leave you with a quick Just Ask Sooz post.

Dear Sooz:

I need your advice. Last night, my husband of 15 years came home drunk and told me he has been having affair with my best friend. I was flabbergasted, hurt, angry, and a whole bunch of other emotions rattling around in my head.

I left for a hotel because he was too drunk to talk about it last night. Today, I went back home and found him hung over, and crying. I asked him two questions right off:

  1. Did he love her?
  2. Why?

He said that he didn’t love her, it was just sex. He maintained that he still loved me and that he had been making a mistake. Why??? He claims that he has a voracious sexual appetite and that I had not been fulfilling it lately.

He was sorry and he wanted to keep things status quo. Sooz, I don’t know if I can do that. What would be your suggestion?

Confused and Hurt


Dear Confused and Hurt:

First of all, do you still love him, and are you willing to forgive this indiscretion? If so, I would recommend marriage counseling for you both. Secondly, what about his sexual appetite? Are you able to satisfy him more often or not?

It seems to me that he had NO regard for you while he was playing footsie with your best friend. I am doubtful here, but, if you are willing to try and forgive, I would go ahead with counselling and see where it goes. If not, pack up and walk away.

Good luck!!!








Just Ask Sooz


Dear Sooz

When I married my husband, he had a 13 year old daughter. Now, in his eyes, the world starts and ends with her, in “my eyes”, she is a pain in the ass. She is messy, doesn’t listen to me, and “never” wants to help out with the chores.

When I try and correct her, my husband defends her and practically jumps down my throat. I am getting very tired of her behavior Sooz, I have spoken to my husband about it but, he just doesn’t want to get involved.

Should I put my foot down, or, right up her ass? This is really getting to me.

Fed up Wife


Dear Fed up Wife:

OK, here is what I would do. I would take his daughter alone somewhere, maybe shopping, and discuss with HER what really bothers you. Tell her you don’t like being a bitch, and that you would LIKE to get along with her.

Ask her, could she please keep her room relatively clean and when you need help, would she please give it to you. Hopefully, the nice approach will work, if not, tell your husband that you are fed up and that things need to change.

The very LAST thing I would do is contact her mother and ask her if she can get involved to help you. I don’t know, I am not a child psychologist, but I would try these things first before bringing in an outside source. Good Luck…



Just Ask Sooz


Dear Sooz:

I am a 32 year old divorced woman with one child. My recent husband is older, he has a 16 year old son who has a problem.

The problem is, he has been hitting on me. When I’m at the pool in the backyard, he stares at me. Sometimes when I get out, he hands me a towel and asks if he could wipe me off. I have been repelling his advances chalking it up to adolescence.

I don’t want to hurt his feelings, but, I also don’t want to lead him on. Should I say something to him, or should I tell my husband and have him deal with this?

Being newly married, I don’t want to cause any problems between my husband and me. What do you suggest?


In a Pickle


Dear In a Pickle:

Definitely let your husband know what’s going on. As you say, it is probably an adolescent thing, but, it should be addressed and NOW, the sooner the better. I would let your husband take the lead on this one since it is HIS son.

16 year old males only have ONE thing on their brains…Women. Be kind, but don’t make any encouraging gestures. You should be fine, but have your husband talk with him soon to stop the teenager’s advances. Good luck…


Just Ask Sooz

Dear Sooz:

My husband is in the Navy and is currently deployed to the Mediterranean. We always have a great sex life when he is here, however, I am getting as horny as a dog in heat.

My next door neighbor’s husband is beginning to look awful sexy to me lately. He comes out in the morning with very tight fitting shorts which pretty much shows everything.

He always says hello and sometimes we will talk. Is it wrong to covet my neighbor’s husband? I really need some action.

Horny Toad


Dear Horny Toad:

Wait…HOW tight WERE his shorts? Can you see his ass really well? Oh, never mind, back to the moment at hand Sooz. The correct and moral answer is, keep your cotton pickin’ hands off your neighbor’s husband’s shorts.

Remember those vows that you took when you were married, till death do us part? There are ALWAYS Dildos and Vibrators to help hold you over. Honor those vows, and screw the life out of your husband when he returns…Good luck…





Just Ask Sooz

Dear Sooz:

I have a disturbing question to ask you. My granddaughter who is 15, had not been sleeping very well at night for quite a while. I’ve asked her several times as to why, and she always replies with “I don’t know”.

Her lack of sleep started to affect her mental stability, as well as her grades in school. I didn’t know where to turn until a friend of mine suggested a psychiatrist friend of hers.

Sooz, I didn’t know what to do as I have never been, nor, have I known anyone around me who has been to one. Finally, I could stand it no longer and decided to take her. After 2 or three sessions, the Dr. suggested Hypnosis, as she suspected my granddaughter had what she called a suppressed memory or memories.

She asked if was OK to put her under, so like an uninformed person, I said yes in hopes it would help her. When she was under, the Dr. regressed her through previous times in her childhood.

I observed as my granddaughter shivered and then shouted out as if she were in pain. I must say, I was very uncomfortable. When the Dr. asked her what was going on, my granddaughter responded that she was being raped by her older brother. I nearly fell off my seat, Sooz.

You see, I have raised her since she was a baby, and she has had no contact with her brother from a different mother. I was flabbergasted.

My question is, how could this be? There is absolutely no way the event she described could have happened. When I asked the Dr., she explained that she “believed” what my granddaughter had seen, and that she would need several, more sessions to get to the bottom of the problem.

Is it possible that these memories could be wrong? Again, I can’t see any substance to them. When I took my granddaughter home, I asked her about her brother. She stated that she has never seen him. That night, she slept like a baby. What is happening here? Can you shed some light?

Confused Grandmother


Dear Confused Grandmother:

I am NOT a DR. but, I do have a masters in Psychology and can tell you what I THINK. Many times recalled memories are a fallacy. As Dr. Stephen Gans says, “While we all experience memory failures from time to time, false memories are unique in that they represent a distinct recollection of something that did not actually happen. It is not about forgetting or mixing up details of things that we experienced; it is about remembering things that we never experienced in the first place.”

A false memory is a mental experience that is mistakenly taken to be a veridical representation of an event from one’s personal past. Memories can be false in relatively minor ways (e.g., believing one last saw the keys in the kitchen when they were in the living room) and in major ways that have profound implications for oneself and others (e.g., mistakenly believing one is the originator of an idea or that one was sexually abused as a child).”

The above is what I believed happened to your granddaughter. These things are tricky, as Psychiatry and Hypnosis are neither EXACT sciences perfected through the test of time.

My take away is that as long as your granddaughter CONTINUES sleeping OK, I would think no more of it, and release this distasteful experience from your mind.

Good Luck…





Just Ask Sooz

Dear Sooz:

I realize that Sunday is Father’s Day and I wanted to give a wonderful salute to all of those men who were good fathers. Believe me, not everyone was as lucky as you were.

I would have given my left kidney for a father who was kind, and compassionate. My father was a drunk. When he was drinking, he would become angry and violent. Many nights, while in bed, I would hear him drunkenly fight with, and strike my mother.

Then, the crying began with doors slamming and angry slurs filling the night. Many nights I prayed that he would leave and never come back.

When I was 10, my mom left him and took me to a shelter with her. The old man found us there, dragged my mom and I to the car, where he then proceeded to beat her senseless.

So you see Sooz, not everyone had the idyllic father daughter relationship. I was older when I finally trusted men enough to start dating. Those painful memories still haunt my dreams, and at times, cause me to have panic attacks.

So, to those men who were good fathers, and did the right things by their families, I salute you, and hope to Hell that no one has to be brought up in the family life that I endured for those many years.

I don’t really expect a reply, I just wanted to thank the fathers out there for the encouragement they have given to their children. Well Done.

Abused Child


Dear Abused Child:

You are so right, there are many children out there who have endured the same type of family life that you lived with. I am sorry for your pain, and I sincerely hope that living through such pain has made you a stronger, and more loving parent. God Bless You.



Just Ask Sooz



Dear Sooz:

My fiancé of two years has just asked me to marry him. Now most people would be extremely happy, but, I believe he may have been cheating on me.

I don’t know what to do, if I ask him, he will just deny it, and more than likely, that would also ruin our relationship.

He treats me well, and is very affectionate. He is also very good in bed. I am at a crossroads here Sooz, please tell me what I should do.

Lost in the woods

Dear lost in the woods:

I feel for you girl, the decision you need to make is not an easy one. Here are my thoughts on this:

1. Once a cheater always a cheater. I have seen very little evidence where once they have cheated, they then regret it and never do it again.

2. If he really loves you, he would not be messing around with other women.

My advice to you would be to run as fast as you can away from him. All I see is pain in your future if you marry him.

Of course the choice is yours. If you’re smart however, you will take my advice, and find someone who will be faithful. Good luck!