Just Ask Sooz

 

Dear Sooz:

I am a 32 year old divorced woman with one child. My recent husband is older, he has a 16 year old son who has a problem.

The problem is, he has been hitting on me. When I’m at the pool in the backyard, he stares at me. Sometimes when I get out, he hands me a towel and asks if he could wipe me off. I have been repelling his advances chalking it up to adolescence.

I don’t want to hurt his feelings, but, I also don’t want to lead him on. Should I say something to him, or should I tell my husband and have him deal with this?

Being newly married, I don’t want to cause any problems between my husband and me. What do you suggest?

 

In a Pickle

 

Dear In a Pickle:

Definitely let your husband know what’s going on. As you say, it is probably an adolescent thing, but, it should be addressed and NOW, the sooner the better. I would let your husband take the lead on this one since it is HIS son.

16 year old males only have ONE thing on their brains…Women. Be kind, but don’t make any encouraging gestures. You should be fine, but have your husband talk with him soon to stop the teenager’s advances. Good luck…

 

Just Ask Sooz

Dear Sooz:

My husband is in the Navy and is currently deployed to the Mediterranean. We always have a great sex life when he is here, however, I am getting as horny as a dog in heat.

My next door neighbor’s husband is beginning to look awful sexy to me lately. He comes out in the morning with very tight fitting shorts which pretty much shows everything.

He always says hello and sometimes we will talk. Is it wrong to covet my neighbor’s husband? I really need some action.

Horny Toad

 

Dear Horny Toad:

Wait…HOW tight WERE his shorts? Can you see his ass really well? Oh, never mind, back to the moment at hand Sooz. The correct and moral answer is, keep your cotton pickin’ hands off your neighbor’s husband’s shorts.

Remember those vows that you took when you were married, till death do us part? There are ALWAYS Dildos and Vibrators to help hold you over. Honor those vows, and screw the life out of your husband when he returns…Good luck…

 

 

 

 

Just Ask Sooz

Dear Sooz:

I have a disturbing question to ask you. My granddaughter who is 15, had not been sleeping very well at night for quite a while. I’ve asked her several times as to why, and she always replies with “I don’t know”.

Her lack of sleep started to affect her mental stability, as well as her grades in school. I didn’t know where to turn until a friend of mine suggested a psychiatrist friend of hers.

Sooz, I didn’t know what to do as I have never been, nor, have I known anyone around me who has been to one. Finally, I could stand it no longer and decided to take her. After 2 or three sessions, the Dr. suggested Hypnosis, as she suspected my granddaughter had what she called a suppressed memory or memories.

She asked if was OK to put her under, so like an uninformed person, I said yes in hopes it would help her. When she was under, the Dr. regressed her through previous times in her childhood.

I observed as my granddaughter shivered and then shouted out as if she were in pain. I must say, I was very uncomfortable. When the Dr. asked her what was going on, my granddaughter responded that she was being raped by her older brother. I nearly fell off my seat, Sooz.

You see, I have raised her since she was a baby, and she has had no contact with her brother from a different mother. I was flabbergasted.

My question is, how could this be? There is absolutely no way the event she described could have happened. When I asked the Dr., she explained that she “believed” what my granddaughter had seen, and that she would need several, more sessions to get to the bottom of the problem.

Is it possible that these memories could be wrong? Again, I can’t see any substance to them. When I took my granddaughter home, I asked her about her brother. She stated that she has never seen him. That night, she slept like a baby. What is happening here? Can you shed some light?

Confused Grandmother

 

Dear Confused Grandmother:

I am NOT a DR. but, I do have a masters in Psychology and can tell you what I THINK. Many times recalled memories are a fallacy. As Dr. Stephen Gans says, “While we all experience memory failures from time to time, false memories are unique in that they represent a distinct recollection of something that did not actually happen. It is not about forgetting or mixing up details of things that we experienced; it is about remembering things that we never experienced in the first place.”

A false memory is a mental experience that is mistakenly taken to be a veridical representation of an event from one’s personal past. Memories can be false in relatively minor ways (e.g., believing one last saw the keys in the kitchen when they were in the living room) and in major ways that have profound implications for oneself and others (e.g., mistakenly believing one is the originator of an idea or that one was sexually abused as a child).”

The above is what I believed happened to your granddaughter. These things are tricky, as Psychiatry and Hypnosis are neither EXACT sciences perfected through the test of time.

My take away is that as long as your granddaughter CONTINUES sleeping OK, I would think no more of it, and release this distasteful experience from your mind.

Good Luck…

 References:https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-a-false-memory-2795193

 

 

 

Just Ask Sooz

Dear Sooz:

I realize that Sunday is Father’s Day and I wanted to give a wonderful salute to all of those men who were good fathers. Believe me, not everyone was as lucky as you were.

I would have given my left kidney for a father who was kind, and compassionate. My father was a drunk. When he was drinking, he would become angry and violent. Many nights, while in bed, I would hear him drunkenly fight with, and strike my mother.

Then, the crying began with doors slamming and angry slurs filling the night. Many nights I prayed that he would leave and never come back.

When I was 10, my mom left him and took me to a shelter with her. The old man found us there, dragged my mom and I to the car, where he then proceeded to beat her senseless.

So you see Sooz, not everyone had the idyllic father daughter relationship. I was older when I finally trusted men enough to start dating. Those painful memories still haunt my dreams, and at times, cause me to have panic attacks.

So, to those men who were good fathers, and did the right things by their families, I salute you, and hope to Hell that no one has to be brought up in the family life that I endured for those many years.

I don’t really expect a reply, I just wanted to thank the fathers out there for the encouragement they have given to their children. Well Done.

Abused Child

 

Dear Abused Child:

You are so right, there are many children out there who have endured the same type of family life that you lived with. I am sorry for your pain, and I sincerely hope that living through such pain has made you a stronger, and more loving parent. God Bless You.

 

 

Just Ask Sooz

https://i1.wp.com/www.sdprofessionalservices.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/9965206-conceptual-photo-of-a-marital-infidelity.jpg

 

Dear Sooz:

My fiancé of two years has just asked me to marry him. Now most people would be extremely happy, but, I believe he may have been cheating on me.

I don’t know what to do, if I ask him, he will just deny it, and more than likely, that would also ruin our relationship.

He treats me well, and is very affectionate. He is also very good in bed. I am at a crossroads here Sooz, please tell me what I should do.

Lost in the woods

Dear lost in the woods:

I feel for you girl, the decision you need to make is not an easy one. Here are my thoughts on this:

1. Once a cheater always a cheater. I have seen very little evidence where once they have cheated, they then regret it and never do it again.

2. If he really loves you, he would not be messing around with other women.

My advice to you would be to run as fast as you can away from him. All I see is pain in your future if you marry him.

Of course the choice is yours. If you’re smart however, you will take my advice, and find someone who will be faithful. Good luck!

Just Ask Sooz

th_047

Dear Sooz:

My husband of 35 has recently stopped having sex with me. Boom, there it is. He used to be like a crazed sex addict and couldn’t get enough, now, he just shuts off the light and goes to sleep.

Since we are both young, I’m 32, it can’t be erectile dysfunction as he has never had that problem before. I can’t imagine him not being attracted to me as I am built as the guys say, “As a Brick Shithouse”, whatever that means.

Anyway, I am frustrated as Hell. I have spoken to him about it, but, he says he has just lost interest in having sex. WTF!!!!! Please give me some insight here as this is driving me crazy. Thanks.

Miserable Mary

 

Dear Miserable Mary:

While NOT a Dr., I have seen a LOT of different types of male dysfunctions. Your husband seems to fit the classic mold of Diminished Libido. Several things could cause this:

  • Alcohol Consumption
  • Smoking
  • Lack of Testosterone
  • Drug Consumption
  • Depression
  • Fatigue
  • Relationship Problems

His best bet is to see a Urologist who can probably figure out how to treat him. There ARE drugs which can help, but FIRST they have to figure out what’s causing this problem.

Be patient, talk with him some more and tell him how YOU feel. If he knows how concerned you are, maybe he will go and try and correct this. Good Luck.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Just Ask Sooz

th_047

Dear Sooz:

Last night, my husband (52 years old), wasn’t how do you say raise his flag. I did everything on my part including a B Job but his soldier just wouldn’t rise to the occasion.

This is now the third time in the last six months that this has happened. I am wondering if he has reached “that age” where he can no longer perform, or, if there is another underlying reason.

The thing is, I really enjoy sex and so does he, when this happens, he becomes all apologetic and angry with himself. Once that happens, he just turns over and falls asleep. This leaves me frustrated and him as well.

Any thoughts on this Sooz, I could really use your help.

Frustrated Frau

 

Dear Frustrated Frau:

Unfortunately, age does creep up on us all at some time. Everyone is different. What I would recommend is for him to see a Urologist. Since he still enjoys sex, there are many things that he can do to help his performance. Certainly Viagara is one, but there are many other options as well.

I can only imagine how frustrating this is for BOTH of you so have him get some help asap so you can be back in the saddle again. Good luck.

 

Dear Sooz:

Last night, my husband (52 years old), wasn’t how do you say raise his flag. I did everything on my part including a B Job but his soldier just wouldn’t rise to the occasion.

This is now the third time in the last six months that this has happened. I am wondering if he has reached “that age” where he can no longer perform, or, if there is another underlying reason.

The thing is, I really enjoy sex and so does he, when this happens, he becomes all apologetic and angry with himself. Once that happens, he just turns over and falls asleep. This leaves me frustrated and him as well.

Any thoughts on this Sooz, I could really use your help.

Frustrated Frau

 

Dear Frustrated Frau:

Unfortunately, age does creep up on us all at some time. Everyone is different. What I would recommend is for him to see a Urologist. Since he still enjoys sex, there are many things that he can do to help his performance. Certainly Viagara is one, but there are many other options as well.

I can only imagine how frustrating this is for BOTH of you so have him get some help asap so you can be back in the saddle again. Good luck.

 

Just Ask Sooz

Dear Sooz:

I’m sure you hear this all the time, but, I have a problem. Last night, my husband of 15 years came home blind drunk. I assure you that I am not a prude Sooz, but, this is the 4th. time this month it has happened.

He comes home all amorous and wants to have sex, yeah, like that would happen. I assure him that even if he “needed” it, he wouldn’t be able to perform. Usually, he just goes to bed and passes out.

Last night, he refused my explanation and just took me. I am so distraught, I don’t know what to do. Obviously he couldn’t perform which really pissed him off. Finally, he wound up passing out on top of me.

In the morning I spoke with him about this, but he had no memory of the event. I am worried Sooz that he might be an alcoholic. I tried to get him to go to counseling, but to no avail.

I need to know what you would do in my situation.

Depressed Wife

 

Dear Depressed Wife:

In the first place, his behavior is totally unacceptable. I would suggest that you sit him down when sober, and have a heart to heart talk with that man.

Let him KNOW that NO MEANS NO!!! In many states that is considered rape, even though you are married.

Level with him, tell him that he needs to see a professional. Make sure he understands that you mean business, no professional, no sex.

I am NOT saying he is an alcoholic, but his behavior is unacceptable and it needs to be addressed. Nip this in the bud NOW before it goes any further, and you get hurt. Believe me, you did the right thing in writing me.

P.S. Let me know how this situation turns out. Good luck.

 

 

 

 

 

Just Ask Sooz

Dear Sooz:

I have a question I would like you to answer for me. About 2 months ago, my father passed away. He was a VP for a major construction Co. and he made very good money.

After the will was read, being an only child, I inherited a substantial amount of money. It was in the seven figure range, so I deposited it into a separate account in my name until I decided what to do with it.

When my husband found out about all this money in just my account, he was livid. He said it should have been put into a joint account and then “we” should decide what to do with it.

The truth is Sooz, my father never approved of John and I felt that by putting it into my account alone, it would have honored his wishes. Obviously I couldn’t tell my husband about that part.

This whole money thing has been a big bone of contention between John and me. What do you think I should have done, and should I transfer it into both of our names? As an aside, John works and makes good money on his own.

Confused

 

Dear Confused:

As I see it, it was YOUR father and as such, you should do whatever you want with the money. Your husband is just being insecure. Many couples have separate bank accounts and personally, I believe that is how it should be.

I see no reason to transfer any money into a joint account, and I would tell your husband that he needs to grow up. Tell him THIS is how your father would have wanted it. After all, you were his ONLY child and should receive all benefits that should come to you.

Good Luck.

Just Ask Sooz

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Dear Sooz:

I have an embarrassing question to ask you. One thing you should be aware of, I am a very sexual person.

Before I was married, a year ago, I would always masturbate with my vibrator. Sometimes, I would masturbate two or three times per day.

Once married, our sex life was OK, but I never could come to an orgasm. I worried about this for a while, until one day, I pulled out my trusty vibrator and had an intense orgasm. I tried again and the same thing happened.

Once back to making love with my husband, zip. Is there something wrong with me Sooz, should I see a Dr. or psychotherapist? Please help me understand what’s happening so I can quit worrying.

Deprived Newlywed

 

Dear Deprived Newlywed:

Many times after continually using a vibrator, your body becomes accustomed to that level of intensity. What I would suggest is to try and pleasure yourself with your fingers until you are able to reach an orgasm.

Once you have achieved it, teach your husband what he needs to do in order to stimulate your clitoris to bring you to a climax. No worries, there is nothing wrong with you that a few lessons for your husband can’t fix.

From now on, when you masturbate, try NOT to use the vibrator. This will eventually make your sex life go a lot better. Best of luck to you.