Just Ask Sooz

Dear Sooz:

I need to vent in your column if it’s OK with you. I am disabled and need a scooter to get around. I have been disabled most of my life and am used to being so. What I want to say is this, “People, Don’t park in the handicapped section unless you are handicapped.”

The other day I was at the grocery store, and there were no handicapped parking spaces available. Now, that is OK if all of the handicapped spaces are filled with folks that need the space.

Usually, however, many times these spaces are taken by lazy ass people who don’t give a damn except for themselves, you know who you are.

Please give people who need to be closer to the store a chance. Believe me, if I could walk, I would be glad to walk farther away if I could.

Appreciate the fact that you are well bodied and able to walk. I would give my wisdom tooth to be able to be fully mobile.

Also, when I am in a crowd, please give me the courtesy not to stand in the middle of an aisle when someone needs to get through. If you want to carry on a conversation, move to the side so that others can pass.

Please be courteous and think of others, and not just of yourselves. If you do this, we will all feel a lot better about it. Thank you.

Disabled Dorothy


Dear Disabled Dorothy:

That you for writing in, this has always been a pet peeve of mine too. I appreciate your candor.



Just Ask Sooz

Dear Sooz:

Last night, my husband of 15 years came home drunk as a skunk and said he was out with the boys. Well, Sooz, if the boys were wearing perfume and lipstick, maybe. Perfume was all over his shirt, with an added bonus of lipstick on his collar.

I was extremely hurt, but also angry. I couldn’t talk with him then, as he was too drunk. The next day I asked him about it and he said that the waitress “accidently” got her lipstick on his collar as she was delivering the drinks. To me, this sounded like b**shirt!!!

We have been married for 15 years, some ups, and some downs, but this is the first time he has ever done something like this. I am really beside myself and could really use your help.

At my last straw


Dear at my last straw:

I KNOW this sounds bad, but, I would give him another chance. After all, it COULD have happened that way, (although I agree with you). Let him know how you feel and explain this behavior is UNACCEPTABLE.

Give him the benefit of the doubt, THIS TIME, but if it repeats itself, kick his womanizing ass out. Remember, communication is the key here. Talk to him and see what’s under his craw that makes him act like this.

Talk first, act second…Good Luck.


Just Ask Sooz

Dear Sooz:

I am writing for my boyfriend as he is too embarrassed to write. The problem is Sooz, he is a pre ejaculator. It seems every time we make love, within a minute, he shoots his load, turns over and falls asleep, leaving me frustrated.

I have heard this is a common problem and wanted to see if you could share some advice with me? We make love at least three times a week, so anything you’ve got to help would be greatly appreciated.

Frustrated Frau


Dear frustrated Frau:

You’re right, it IS a fairly common problem. You didn’t say how old he was which sometimes can make a difference. You’re in luck though, as I know a sure fire way to fix this. Here is what you do:

Take his penis and stroke it like you want him to cum, before he does, back off and let it deflate a bit. Then, repeat as before. Do this four or five times over a ten-fifteen minute period.

Try this daily for five consecutive days. Each time, extend the time before ejaculation by a minute or two. By the end of the week, he should be as right as rain, and YOU should be satisfied once again. Good Luck!







Just Ask Sooz

Before I begin my Dear Sooz column, I must admit THIS letter really hit home. It made me more determined than ever to go and try to repair the damage I have done to my ex, Bella. It was actually painful for me to write a response, yet, ALL letters must be answered. I share this now with all of you.

Dear Sooz:

I, like you, have just lost the absolute love of my life. My boyfriends name was Johnn he was the best thing that ever happened to me. Like you Sooz, I met him abroad, he worked in a café in France as a waiter while I was visiting on Holiday.

I was hungry and wanted to sit and take in all the ambiance of the city, so, I decided to go to a nice café and get something to eat. Sooz, it was love at first sight, he asked me what I wanted with the sexiest French accent and I just melted.

When he returned with my meal, he noticed I was looking right through him, he commented how the sun paled in its beauty next to me. That was all she wrote, I blushed, got wet, and luckily, he asked me out.

We went out, walked along the Seine, held hands, and I instantly fell in love. He was loving, tender, and had such a deep strong voice, I felt almost slave like when he placed his glorious mouth on mine.

We dated for six months before that awful day. Johnn had asked me to marry him, and of course I said yes. I was never happier Sooz. We settled into a small apartment and things were going great until that one morning in June.

Birds were singing, and the usual sounds of hustle and bustle of the day filled the streets like music fills your ears. He had gone out early that day to surprise me with croissants and coffee before I got up.

 According to witness accounts, as he went to turn the corner to the local bakery, a car jumped the curb striking and killing my Johnn. I learned of the tragedy from a knock at my door. Two gendarmes appeared there to break the news, and as they did, I collapsed in their arms. My world ended that fateful day. I have cried at least once a day thinking of our beautiful love.

 Broken, I returned home to America and have tried to get on with my life, but, to no avail. I miss him, and shall never forget what we once rejoiced. My suggestion Sooz, get on that plane now, find Bella, and do whatever it takes to get her back. Life indeed is way too short to miss a life changing opportunity.



Dear Molly:

Tears fell like rain as I read your letter. What you had, seemed like the “REAL DEAL”. I THANK YOU for your letter, I am sorry for your loss, and I promise you, I WILL seek to regain the love I so quickly dismissed, God Bless You.








Just Ask Sooz

Dear Sooz:

I am a 25 year old woman who reads your column all the time. My problem is, for two years I have been going out with my boyfriend, he has been attentive, thoughtful, and is a great lover. Recently, he has been distant. I can’t put my finger on it, although recently, he has been a lot less interested in sex.

I enjoy making love with him and when he refuses me, it makes me feel unloved. This has been going on for about a month now. I don’t know how to address this without him getting angry, and or him just ignoring it.

If you could give me some insight I would really appreciate it.



Dear Confused:

While I have my suspicions, my guess would be he is seeing someone else. Ask him right out about why your lovemaking has diminished.

If he doesn’t have a great reason, then I would start looking for the tell tale signs; his phone, credit card receipts, him being on the internet more than usual,  secret phone calls, or late nights at work.

Sorry babe, this is how I see it. I HOPE I am wrong, but, more than likely I am NOT. Good luck and here’s hoping I’m wrong.




Just Ask Sooz-Drunk Edition

Image result for very lonely drunk woman


Hi there folks…I’m back. Just got my tits pampered, and my pussy satisfied, so once again I am ready, willing, and eager to write. P.S. I am wearing only a pink thong, that’s IT!!! Just wanted to give you guys and gals a visual image, wink.

OK, let’s get serious here for a moment and do a Just Ask Sooz segment. Here goes, oh, and YES, In case you were wondering, I’m still loaded. I picked this letter because it really hits home.

Dear Sooz:

I am a card carrying, drink every day, get passed out drunk. I am writing to you because I understand that at one time before your rehab, you have also been a lot like me and get passed out drunk at night.

I am a 35 year old woman, who drinks every morning, at lunch, and gets passed out drunk at night. I also don’t remember things that I did from day to day. While I realize that I need help Sooz, I also don’t want to take that first step. You see, I enjoy being drunk, just not the hangovers and sickness that comes along with it.

I don’t need to work as I inherited a huge trust fund from my parents, who died in an auto accident. I really have no reason to be sober except to try and become involved with someone. You see, I have had many one night stands, but never anything meaningful. I am lonely Sooz. Thank goodness I am drunk now as I wouldn’t have been able to pour my soul out if sober.

I identify with you Sooz, any suggestions?

Drunk Again


Dear Drunk Again:

This is a very hard one for me, because as I write this, I too have fallen off the wagon, and as you say, am “card carrying drunk”. I UNDERSTAND, and can tell you all the evil things about getting drunk, STD’s, broken relationships, health issues, etc.

What I heard in your letter was that you were NOT yet ready to take that first step in helping yourself. Until you truly commit, nothing will help you. You will go on being a subject to that bottle of booze.

I got clean because it started to affect me on a daily basis. Rehab was a bitch and YES, I crave it still every day, today was just one of those days. Am I glad I did it, YES, will I do it again, probably, but then it is a day to day struggle.

Am I glad I went to rehab and got “clean”, YES!!! Do I still enjoy getting drunk, YES, but living a clean, sober life ALSO has its benefits. I would give it a try, what do you have to lose except the hangovers and the blackouts?

I will hive you my number if you ever wanna talk. I wish you much success. Good Luck.








Just Ask Sooz

Image result for sexy lap dances

Dear Sooz:

I realize this sounds stupid coming from a 25 year old woman, but, none the less I would like your opinion. The other night, my boyfriend and I went to a club and came home a little drunk.

We were on my couch with just our tops and underwear on. I was on his lap pretending to give him a lap dance, when all of a sudden, he ejaculated. My question here is this, my panties got wet when he ejaculated and so did my Vagina.

Is it possible for his semen to have penetrated me, and do I have to look forward to a possible pregnancy? Some of friends tell me yes while others say no. I am currently one week overdue and I am in a frazzle right now. Just so you have all the facts, this is the first time any type of sex where ejaculate has occurred.

Feeling Down


Dear Feeling Down:

Good news my friend, unless he delivered a load of oh, let’s say a DUMP TRUCK full onto your panties, the “odds are in your favor”. You are about 99.999% guaranteed NOT to have gotten pregnant.

Semen going through clothes, then entering the Vagina and travelling up the Cervix, is just about impossible. You are probably overdue because of your angst. Sit back, CLOSE your legs, and keep your feet up. You dodged a bullet.

Since your boyfriend has experienced sexual climax with you, it might be a good idea to be a little more careful next time, unless of course you WANT to have sex. Good luck to you and Happy Holidays.


Just Ask Sooz

Image result for sad girl with wine

Dear Sooz:

Yesterday, my boyfriend of 4 years, out of the blue told me we were through. My mouth just dropped open, and I asked him why? He claimed he was bored with our relationship, and that he wanted to date other people.

Never before had he mentioned that he was bored, or that he wanted to date someone else. I am so upset. Are all men like this? Don’t they know when they have a good thing going? Our sex life has always been robust and I have never had any complaints.

I am just so broken up and pissed at men, I don’t care if I ever date again.

Sad Sac


Dear Sad Sac:

Relationships are hard, you really have to work on them to keep them fresh. It is hard for me to believe you have dated, and slept together for 4 years, and you have not noticed ANY change in him at all.

My guess, he just wasn’t ready for a committed relationship and wanted to move on to greener pastures.

Men aren’t ALL assholes honey, many are very very nice. Sooner or later someone WILL come around who is kind, considerate, and READY for a commitment.

Hang in there kiddo, YOUR time is coming. Sorry you had to be hurt, however, to learn this bitter lesson. Good Luck…

Just Ask Sooz



Dear Sooz:

I am writing this while I am drunk. My boyfriend of 3 years has just left me. He claims I am a bad girlfriend and that I only want to have sex with him when I’m drunk.

While that is true Sooz, when we were together, I usually was drunk at which point I would have sex with him.

It’s just something within me that feels better having sex when I am relaxed and confident. What’s wrong with having sex that way anyway?

I don’t know what’s wrong with me Sooz, right now, I just wanna fuck the world. Any thoughts?

Broken Hearted Drunk


Dear Broken Hearted Drunk:

I have addressed this before, several women like to have a drink or two before making love. The kicker, as I see it, is he didn’t like you being drunk. Were you a slobbering drunk, or just “relaxed”?

It sounds to me as if you may have been a slobbering drunk. If that was the case, you have more than a boyfriend problem, you MAY have a drinking problem.

I would recommend you see a Dr. about this who could advise you of a program near you. There will always be other boyfriends, first get yourself straight, THEN you may be able to keep a boyfriend next time.

Good Luck.


Sex, Masturbation and Master Slave



Dear Internet

 I use you each and every day and I don’t understand why you give me prompts for writing that suggest- Sex, Master Slave, and Masturbation. Yes, while it is true that I occasionally talk about Sex and Masturbation, I hardly EVER discusses my Master Slave proclivities.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t MIND talking about Master slave situations, it’s just that I don’t write about it that often to have my writing suggestions use this subject. I would much rather have my suggestions include Just Ask Sooz, or perhaps Sooz’s Fractured Fairy Tales.

Hell, even those stories about getting drunk or having drunken sex would be better. Preferably, the best suggestions would be about-Rainbows, Unicorns, and World Peace. OK, look, I would probably sprinkle these subjects with Sex, Masturbation, and perhaps Master Slave proclivities, BUT, I would much rather see the above in print as suggestions.

 I am finished bitching now, I realize you are just doing your due diligence when it comes to offering suggestions for all your writers. I promise to play nice from now on and will just take your suggestions as written. I humbly apologize for being a sexy depraved woman, who loves engaging in continuous masturbation, and will write more about my sexual Master Slave occurrences to live up to my suggestive matter.




P.S. My hands are in my pants as we speak… FU!!!!